Emmie Untitled Poem #4

Wide eyed
waiting
knife thrusting into heart
safe place
security blanket
question asked
are you walking away?
Denial
can see
can feel
lie
sense it
floating on the air
blending into notes
balanced upon keyboard
melancholy
gritting teeth
not wanting anyone to see
that buried within
heart still beats
given again
to promise to be there
to promise not to hurt
and now…..
Tears
slip over lips
sight clouded
saying good bye
another person
who said
who promised
who swore
to never hurt
leaving again
because
unlovable
undesirable
curl back within
let forth a whimpered roar
turn
head down
walk away
it is easier
to ignore
knife twisting
once emotions are pushed aside.
©Jan. 4/21
Picture via Pinterest

What if?

What if?
After your heart has mended
your tears have dried
no longer 
cuddling with pillows
still holding his scent
your phone were to ping.
What if?
One last wish
one last breath held
heart flutters
seeing his name
trembling smile
could it be true
had he come back…..
to play?
What if?
Truth always told
second 
always you will be 
yet 
happiness
in world does bloom
selfish
you know
here you have been before
pain only
upon this path does walk
courting it
you are.
What if?
Could you forgive?
Could you accept?
No more time
less in fact
five minutes in life
an eternity in fantasy
eyes cast in agony
doubt frustrates
drawn back within
yearning
aching 
for his touch.
What if?
Could you
would you
should you
pain that path lays
loneliness
empty nights
littered with tears
empty bottles
liquid love
easing ache
you could do without.
What if?
What ifs 
a useless game
designed 
to frustrate
to employ
wishes
dreams
wants
desires
hidden deep 
taken out
as night blackens
stars atwinkle
wish upon one…..
What if…..
 
©Oct. 21/20
Picture via Pinterest