Death’s Mastery

***I realize that this is very dark and disturbing. The emotions that I have drawn upon are not what I am feeling today. These are the echoes I can recall and express from the dark days of late 2017 and early 2018.*****
Blank sighted
mind aswirl
twisting
reaching out
reaching in
nightmare visions
stop…..
please…..
stop them.
Pain
day after day
night after night
cripples my heart
cripples my body
cripples my mind
unable to move
tears fall
unchecked
river flowing free
curled inward
falling
vile cesspooled pit.
Mouth open
silent screams
reverberate
penetrating to soul
rending
devoured
black ghouls
fattened upon gristled drips
sliver thin
sliced
keen blade
mind in torment.
This is not a cell.
This is not a jail
that I have created
for I want attention
for I need adulation
for I need care…..
it is my mind
caging me
castigating me
slowly killing me.
Unseen death
walking waking nightmare
upon this path
only I can go…..
light recedes
black encroaches
times I believe
death
would be better than this…..
©April 27/20
Picture via Pinterest

Off with their heads

Look in the mirror
never liking what you see…..
too fat
too skinny
too freckly
too poofed up hair
too……..
descriptions of the person seen
through your own eyes.
Hide under the baggy clothes
keep the hat on tight
wretched scales
torment
fear
pain
will it ever  be right?
Words
arrows shot without aim
scurry along
head down
no one will see
no one will hurt
no one is as invisible
as one who is hiding in plain sight.
Bumped
pushed
sidle into the corner
move through the shadows
let there be no light.
One day
people will see
not only the purity of spirit
but the beautiful person that you are.
Some day soon
you will realize your true worth……
you are a Queen
let no one ever take that.
Besides you always wanted to roar
‘off with their heads’
©Sept. 16/19
Picture via Pinterest