Erotica & Me

Recently I began writing erotica.
Mom asked me what I thought was the cause of all the erotic poetry I have been writing. I have been thinking about it quite a bit and I think that I might understand.
When I was younger due to abuse I hid myself away.
I wore baggy clothes. Would not show my body if I had the choice.
Well I should not say that as I can divide my wardrobe into two distinct eras:
As a teen and young adult I wore short skirts. Tight jeans. My body was a walking advert for sex. I used it so men would like me. Hey I was young we all do weird things that we look back on and go what the hell was I thinking??????
From about 25 or so until I was 44 I hid behind baggy sweats.
Over sized tee shirts.
I did not quite know what I was doing although subconsciously I think that I might have.
I have always had a strange relationship with my body.
Days I look at myself and think ‘damn girl you look fine’.
And days that I look at myself and wonder what anyone sees in me.
That is my issue and I realize it stems from the abuse and lack of confidence in myself.
I am working on that.
Every day.
One of my tells when I am feeling insecure about myself I won’t look people in the eye.
When I catch myself I have a conversation reminding myself that I am wonderful and have no reason to fear looking people in the eye.
I have had an awakening.
I am a sexual being.
I am embracing this me.
No longer afraid walking in the sun caring not who looks and stares.
And it turns out that I happen to be damn good at writing erotic poems.
June 21/20
Picture via Pinterest

Peeper Play

Music plays
soft
notes upon the wind
dancing in the kitchen
back lit
beauty
using ladle as microphone.
Do you know I watch?
Game we play…..
Peeping Tom.
Unaware peeped upon.
Shorts
pulled tight
wiggle that ass
groan with ecstasy
knowing
soon I will fill
creamy cheek
hardened
hand plays.
Eyes closed
hands above head
sashaying hips
lower to floor
up you go
groin tightens
seeing your control.
Breath coming faster
face pressed to glass
hand in between
when suddenly…….
Son should you be here?
Red faced
stammered to explain
door opens
teddy worn
slammed with a shriek.
Left with warning
cheeky grin
flop on couch
gaze upon
lips quirk
laughter erupts…..
we will have to try again.
©June 20/20
Picture via Pinterest