Don’t Look/Don’t Ask

Still struggling with the sleeping in.
Was up at 4:48 a.m. although in part that had to do with a meowing cat who thought he was starving.
And then Loki decided to attack Thomas and squawking began.
As punishment though I made them wait until I had my shower before I fed them.
I showed them I did.
I checked my phone and discovered a text from the ex telling me I could book T’s vaccine appointment.
I almost asked what made him change his mind but I held my tongue and sent off a thank you message.
Now I do not need to worry about an argument ensuing when he found out I had gone behind his back.
As a parent I always struggle with how T acts.
Most especially when I am not with him.
Not that I think he is an animal with no manners or couth but hey…..I am a mom.
Of a nearly teenage boy.
Imagine then when I received a mother’s day card from the ex-in-laws and discovered this printed inside.
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Maybe I am doing alright.
And maybe he is doing alright too.
©May 25/21
Picture is my own

Stuck in the Middle

Gosh darn it all I have gone and put T in the middle.
When you are a child of divorce and you yourself are separated with a child you want to be aware of the situations you were put in and avoid those with your own child(ren).
Well I hate to say it but I put T square in the middle of the vaccine debate between his dad and I.
And I have to learn to keep my big fat mouth shut with regards to his father around him.
 
Last evening when T got dropped off he went off on me.
Not off yelling and screaming but he let me know.
 
‘Even if you get the shot you can still get the virus mom.’
‘Yes T in the first 14 days you are right you can still pick up the virus. It will not make you ill but you will be a carrier. Meaning you could give it to your father without knowing it.’
‘Oh.’
‘Do you not want the vaccine?’
‘Yeah I don’t care.’
‘Do you or do you not want the vaccine? If you do not want it I will cancel your appointment right now.’ (you parents heard it)
‘No I want to be vaccinated.’
 
T is torn between a rock and a hard place.
Here is mom who has always looked after him and done the best whereas his father his filling his head with nonsense.  (I know folks I am working on the tone)
This is a man who use to be so science and fact based that he believed in nothing if it could not be proven.
 
I messaged the ex last night and asked him if he would like to come in and discuss the vaccine when he dropped T off.
I got back ‘if I have time.’
Huh.
I have been reminding myself over and over and over that I will listen.
I will not react without first thinking through my answer.
I will bite my tongue.
I will let him get everything out in the open.
If he has time.
If not well I tried at least.
 
©May 18/21
Picture is my own