Feeling Wonky

As I indicated yesterday I was coming down with a cold.

I was not pleased and with the tickle in my throat I knew that I needed to do something. I grabbed the cough syrup out of the cupboard and looked at the expiry date. September 2022.

It had not been that long and the cough was beginning. I stood up. Cough. I sat down. Cough. I took a slug of the syrup and while it was not as mentholly as it usually is, I figured that it would still work. And it did.

By the time I got to work I was not feeling well at all. And my head was feeling wonky. Light headed. My body felt weighted. Hot and cold. But the head was the worst of it.

I came home at 11. I just was not able to push myself through. Spent the day laying and dozing on the couch. Mom called to check up on me.

As I was sitting here, it still was bothering me just how wonky my head was feeling. So I decided to look up the active ingredient in the cough syrup. And once I saw it it made sense.

The hydrobromide salt form of dextromethorphan, a synthetic, methylated dextrorotary analogue of levorphanol, a substance related to codeine and a non-opioid derivate of morphine. Dextromethorphan exhibits antitussive activity and is devoid of analgesic or addictive property.

I believe that given the fact that Motrin is the strongest thing that I take, that something in this affects me differently.

K insisted that I throw the bottle out and to make sure I bought a fresh version of my cough syrup.

Picture via Pinterest

Blackened Husk

***At first I thought that this was going to become positive. It has not. This is not at all how I feel now. It is a recollection of how I felt in the days leading up to my big KABOOM! 4 more days***
Pallid specter
anguished features
would give anything for it to go away.
what all feel 
when I am present.
scarecrow straight
stride forward
look neither right
nor left
acknowledge nothing
so much safer this way.
easier to pretend
than to actually see
is what life has done to me.
No longer looking in the mirror
escape the penetrating look
that I have not lived up
to the expectations
I force upon myself.
bites deep
look away
hide away
draw knees in
protect yourself
no one else will.
Time has expired 
leaving me void
my reality
my truth
I hate to say it
but there is no moving forward.
©Dec. 19/19
Picture via Pinterest
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