Some Days

Are a little harder than others.

Today is one of those days.

Despite painting and having sat outside reading, the overwhelming sense of sadness has infused my being. I have spent a lot of time this evening crying.

About what? Who knows. In my head it could be one of a million things that in this state suddenly become so overblown. From turning 50 to the feeling that I let so many people down.

To feeling like I am just faking my way through things. That in truth I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. That I am just coasting along without any real purpose until I die.

And while 99.9% of the time I am good, today is the .01% that is kicking my ass.

Tomorrow will resume with my normal cheerful demeanor.

Aug. 14/22

Untitled Relationship Poem #9

Sitting
clouded skies above
turbulent waters below.
Standing
caught
cross winds
lift up
soar
falling fast
screaming
net gone.
No warm arms
folded near.
Memories
times
where there was care
there was love
there was hope…..
fleeting
should never have believed
love is not real.
A farce
a wire wrapped rose
blood letting diamonds
chains
wrapped
suicide by marriage.
Despair
losing self in bitter image
raged bullets
fly from lips
razing chance to reconcile.
Frosted cold
angst ridden
watch dead lovers pass
wrapped in bliss
forgotten pain
forgotten rage
a pretty patina
gloss over reality
nothing will ever change.
©Nov. 23/20
Picture via Pinterest
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