Some Days

Are a little harder than others.

Today is one of those days.

Despite painting and having sat outside reading, the overwhelming sense of sadness has infused my being. I have spent a lot of time this evening crying.

About what? Who knows. In my head it could be one of a million things that in this state suddenly become so overblown. From turning 50 to the feeling that I let so many people down.

To feeling like I am just faking my way through things. That in truth I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going. That I am just coasting along without any real purpose until I die.

And while 99.9% of the time I am good, today is the .01% that is kicking my ass.

Tomorrow will resume with my normal cheerful demeanor.

Aug. 14/22

Untitled Relationship Poem #9

Sitting

clouded skies above

turbulent waters below.

Standing

caught

cross winds

lift up

soar

falling fast

screaming

net gone.

No warm arms

folded near.

Memories

times

where there was care

there was love

there was hope…..

fleeting

should never have believed

love is not real.

A farce

a wire wrapped rose

blood letting diamonds

chains

wrapped

suicide by marriage.

Despair

losing self in bitter image

raged bullets

fly from lips

razing chance to reconcile.

Frosted cold

angst ridden

watch dead lovers pass

wrapped in bliss

forgotten pain

forgotten rage

a pretty patina

gloss over reality

nothing will ever change.

©Nov. 23/20

Picture via Pinterest

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