Help?

Can you help me?
I need to excise these feelings.
I need to eradicate this love.
I need to eliminate my heart
will you show me how?
Like ‘Insensitive’
that song keeps playing in my mind
I wonder was I to pass the time?
Many a morning
an evening too
I watched you grow smaller
in the rear view.
Had I known
the last time there
would be my last
I would have savored the moment more
those few precious seconds
I was wrapped in your arms.
Ties that bind
shaking my head
to clear
memories I still hold dear
remembrances of your scent
the heavy feel of your arm pulling me close
as my head rested
listening to your heartbeat.
That steady thrum
helped me to sleep
many a night
when monsters tortured my dreams.
Now alone
the monsters are free to roam
there is no protector
no white knight
saving me
with a vicious uppercut
and double edged sword.
Please…..
fight for me
slay dragons for me
keep me safe
why do we run
when really we both need to be?
Speak clear
tell me true
should I get over you?
I cannot.
I know….
I know that I am building a fantasy
but
never have you told me not to.
All I want to know
all I need to know
is…….
do you love me still?
 
January 17/19
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Wildness

Rose 
to pink
to purple
to mauve
to jade 
to emerald
to sapphire
blending to aqua
kaleidoscope of colors
bleeding along butterfly wings.
She swoops
swirls
sweeps
flitting in meadows
green 
grey
dead.
Poisoned air
scented with 
sweet floral notes
of the belladonna plant.
Hovering……
waiting…..
I pick my way below
following my guardian
my guide
she leads me true.
To where?
I do not know.
To accomplish what?
That is still a mystery
Appearing as I was denounced.
Vilified.
So Lost
down the Rabbit’s Hole
Skritching noises 
as she communicates
while on their harness
my wee beasties wail.
They snap and snarl
whining their wants
as she flies ahead
leading us further into this wild land.
 
January 11/19

Outsider

‘Hear ye
hear ye
it seems to be 
an outsider
writhing amongst our midst.
Sowing discord
loss
desire
in all whose path she crosses.’
I stood in with the crowd
cowled head
bent to hide the blues
the greens
the halos of my eyes.
No more did I wonder
when I heard these oracles
these leaders
decry the one who does not belong.
I knew it was me.
Cruel beasties
tied to my side
tethered
chained
beholden to do my bidding
as long as I was here
in this place
in this time.
Madman
madder than he was before
rending his clothing
his flesh
screaming of the one who does not exist.
Oooooohhhhhhh
I no longer exist
which means that there……
there are no consequences for acts done.
No need to not try to change
disrupt
agitate
the populous so trodden down
losing hope
beaten
to rise above their pious Lordlings
toss them down
erase them from this life?
Am I truly evil?
Am I Danger?
Have I fallen off the wayside?
Am I truly Lost?
Or am I retribution?
Off with their heads
no cake for the wicked
soon I shall cast off this cowl
making myself known.
Down and down
the Rabbit’s Hole I fall
each level
a new experience
tying me to this place.
 
January 10/19
Photo by Viktor Forgacs on Unsplash

Danger

Picture via: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/446419381799690531/?lp=true

Nightmare beings
sliding
merging
entwining
round my head.
Yet another marvel of this place.
Lost within the Rabbit Hole
I wander paths
followed
ceaselessly
by these brooding
demented
nasty little beasties
who have an appetite
vast
for destruction
pain
fear.
I giggle
tripping along the pathway
lined with brilliant poppies
opium scented air
as hazily they begin to drop.
A few follow me through
the lassitude that befell their brethren
falling away
aside
bringing them back to their former nastiness.
Though they try
claws out
flaying my flesh
shrieking with horror
dismay
rage
as talons glide through
renting no skin.
Torment
repent
not at all.
My smile
wide as the Cheshire
mysterious
unknown
tripping on cyanide lips
danger to all.
Am I really a She-Demon?

January 9/19

 

Lost

‘I was lost
but now I am free’
shrieked the madman
hiding behind the tree.
Hair matted
gimlet eyes
screeching about end times.
I have watched him.
His mathematics
calculations
ruminations
formulas only he understands
as he tries so hard to discover
the date of the last day
when the world shall die.
Since I fell down the Rabbit Hole
I have seen…..
Many a breathtaking wonder.
Many a fascinating strange thing.
Many a wicked frightening thing.
None of which
captured my attention
like the madman.
Sitting upon desert sands
blown upon grass so green
I watch
waiting
wondering what shall be.
‘You are the menace.
You are the demon.
You are the downfall of all men.’
I looked around
wondering
to whom he spoke.
It was I.
None other dared to be close
save for myself
the very malodor of him
a tangible taste upon the tongue.
I waggled my fingers
a sardonic grin
twisting my lips
as he stood
imploring
begging
beseeching
help to arrive
to defend him from the She-Demon.
The one who did not belong.
January 8/19

Rabbit’s Hole

I fell down a rabbit’s hole
to a land
of mimes
mimicry
fancy mirrors
and plenty of regrets.
Plethoras
multitudes
legions
wasted on the sidelines
watching deranged
demented
delirious
clowns on unicycles
desperate
for appreciation
adoration
admiration.
wrestled with bears.
Immature girls
walking on broken glass
along a tight rope.
I slowed to watch
like an accident
mine eyes
could not leave the sight.
Grimacing
cloying stench penetrating
I backed away
turning to run.
Caricature of the Devil
Lucifer himself
pitchfork in hand
ready to prod me back
stood ‘afore me.
I looked at him
with a wink
an impudent smile
walked forward
poof
the illusion disappeared.
Before me
a land racked
wrecked
grey
bleak
dying.
Why am I here?
What am I to do?
And where is the rabbit hole
home again?
January 7/19

Fairyland

Walking down the mushroom path
avoiding perfumed roses
colored trees
skies on the bottom
ground on top
I wonder where I am.
Topsy turvy 
how do I go
left
right
straight up the center
head cocked
I feel myself grow.
Staring down
giantess I have become
lost in a world
that mayhap I created?
Watch waterfalls flow upward
sprinkling mists upon
vast greenery
a home sweet home
I feel it in my heart.
Flying forward
wings erupt 
I surge towards the sky
spiraling downwards
euphoria 
smiles
giggles erupt
delicious chills
as the breeze caresses
bared skin.
Skim across purple water tops.
Skip through frosted fields.
Stroll down mysterious paths.
And now I ask……
riddle me this
riddle me that
who/what am I?
 
January 6/19
Photo by Simon Matzinger on Unsplash