Pained Expression

Startling
glaring
snow diamonds
glitter
under milky moon
air so cold
breath hangs
frozen
crystal for a moment
before fading away.
Standing
watching
shadows creep
wailing winds
skeletal branches reach skyward
mournful melody
wolf’s howl
eerie counterpoint.
Stepping
one foot
other to follow
stray path
forked roads
I go
looking
not for riches
not for love
nor desire
I look for self
one lost
unto childhood
pain
memories
addiction
on goes the wretched list.
I am not proud
part of me though they are.
Today I try to compose
fragmented soul
one whole
girl
woman
Queen
I will become
never again to kneel.
©July 13/20
Picture via Pinterest

Whispered Death

*****Please note this could be a trigger poem. It is about lack of self. Leaving life behind. While I have only once felt like this (when I was 15) it never really leaves your mind. This poem is in no way reflective of how I feel.*****

I stand
waves slashing
sky
pink blood
shed
as day wanes
into night.
Roiling spray
drenched grey
looking outward
seeing only the bad
nary the good.
Voices whisper in my ear
so subtle
driving me a little crazy
telling me wrong
telling me right
telling me so many lies.
One does not know
sibilant
slightly under range of hearing
voice ringing in my ears
failure
wrong
liar
fake
names that go on and on.
Nights on my knees
praying
screaming
absolution please
come my way…..
wish I may
I wish I might
I wish that I could die tonight…..
©July 11/20
Picture is my own.