seeing only markers
fluorescent orange flags
flutter in the wind
as the square shrinks inwards.
I stare upwards
seeing shapes within the clouds
it is better than looking around me
seeing the moiety
which is so unfair.
At one time we all shared
we all cared
but no longer is that true
as each one fights for a bigger piece of the pie
and I am left struggling alone here.
Soon the space I stand within
will be overrun
by the cruelty of man’s desire
for having more
regardless of how it is acquired.
With so little left to conquer
with so little left to divide
I watch in silence as the plains shatter
a tear falling
and I disappear.
As parents we are given responsibilities:
We need to guide our children.
We need to teach them.
We need to instill morals.
We need to nourish their imaginations
and in return
are given the greatest of gifts.
A child’s love is pure.
It knows no boundaries.
It comes in all colors of the rainbow
and when allowed to flourish
it is an unending love that
Yet there are those
women and men
who will take a child’s love
twist and betray it
by putting their needs
their desires first.
Such selfish behaviour
destroys the unconditional love
destroys the relationship
and ultimately will destroy the child’s belief in self worth.
Our children are our greatest treasures
we need to hold them tight
while they allow us
for though their love is always ours
their time will not be.
I am not exactly sure what is going on with me. At first I thought that I was morose. Than I looked up the definition and no that is not me. All I can say is I am feeling a little off. And it has not just been one day, no this has been going on since Monday.
Monday I slept in as late as I could before getting up and getting ready for work. I worked at 8 so what I really did was skip the workout, breakfast and coffee. So let’s put my mood down to that.
Tuesday. I got up at 5. Worked out, was ready to go before I even woke T up at 7. Yet still the feeling prevails.
I know something is off because truthfully, I am not my fun loving bubbly self at all. I can barely muster the energy to talk to customers at work.
I thought that as Monday and Tuesday were grey gloomy rain days, that that was all it was. I mean, T and me we fought again yesterday morning but now, I shrug my shoulders and lock myself in my bedroom. It was my fault for his shoes being wet as I made him walk home in the rain on Monday. Yep, evil mom that I am he had to walk home in the rain.
I can look for every excuse but there are none. I cannot explain what this feeling is other than off. I want to weep. I want to lay here cuddling my pillow and sob. But why? That my friends is the elusive question. I have no reason to be feeling down or sad. Work is great. My friends are great. T, well T is T. He is good when he wants to be and no so good when he doesn’t want to be.
My poetry is going well. I have no complaints there.
I want to cry. I want to be held while I cry. For no real reason but that I need to cry. Long hard sobs where I am gasping for breath and unable to speak. I do not know what is causing this giant hole I just know that I feel it and it is there.
I do not want to fall down the rabbit hole. I want to get back to the me I have been for the last while. I am sad. I am going to go and lock myself in my room and cry. I am sorry for being so depressive this evening when of late I have been on cloud 9. Hoping that this will pass soon.