Bleak Moored

Once
(pause, sigh)
I would have felt
drowning
sucked
drawn beneath burgeoning waters
breath held
lungs filled
eyes limpid
sightless
drugs
alcohol
vacuum inside
no where to run
no where to hide.
That once
was my life.
Sea of emotions
swamped
overwhelmed
high
low
no in between
no peace
no serenity
manic laughter
sawing at nerves
reverberates
through tired mind
just want to lie down
just want to let go
just want…..
Strength in spades
I have
powerless
paralyzed with fear
broken
breaking
no longer able to hold
finger tips bleeding
clutching
broken ledge
eating into
poisoned skin
painted cherry smile
even as mouth trembles
down turned.
Fraud
fake
failure
screaming through my mind
turn away from mirrored eyes
pushing down nightmared dreams
pretending
life has meaning.
©Nov. 26/20
Picture is my own

Ballad of Sorrow

Growing
feel it
I do
can you?
Chasm deep
one side me
one side you
seems so simple
build a bridge
cross together
life
blissful
pleasant
needed to salve
broken spirit
needed to prove
love reality
novelty
for one never loved
only owned
an extension of other
never seen
never validated
until…..
Papered cracks
velvet wrapped
beneath
terror
wide river
racing
trapped
beneath
gasping
roiling in rapids
overwhelmed
safety net
threatened
ripped
hanging on with whitened knuckles
bleeding fingers
while struggling to make you see…..
Vast expanse
ice made
how to cross
fire no longer scorches
watching
fear laced tongue
laced to smiling lips
will bent
will extended
losing self
to make another happy…..
Words dance
tuneless in the air
mouths moving
no one listening
fears
fast dividing
I see you
on the floe
facing away
unable to dance over moving water
leaving me behind
see you not
the pain
the need
the want
fed by
paralyzing fear
reality of life
abuse
degradation
falling down the rabbit hole
why
has it come to this?
Voices
broken whispers
tears
stars reflected
heart
never freely given…..
slashed
battered
chained behind iron
given to you
with gritted teeth
for I know
simple as
one
two
three
one day
you will leave.
©Nov. 20/20
Picture via Pinterest