Untitled Relationship Poem #5

***This poem was written last year during Nov/Dec period. Reworked today***
I allowed it.
I allowed you
to maim me
to bite me
to shred my heart.
There was no breaking in two
it disintegrated.
pain unlike any…..
Any…..
Do you see that?
Any…..
I had felt before.
I stood beneath full moon
lashes glittering with tears
unable to comprehend
bewildered I am
for you seem to be blaming me?
It took a bit
but colors bleed true
slashes of fabric
please release me.
All told me
your actions
are louder than words.
Never thought it true.
You have proved me wrong.
I regret
having thought you were different
that you were…..
maybe Prince Charming…..
my own love story…..
when all you are is a farce.
I do not regret
having allowed you into my life
though you made me bleed
opened my heart
learned I could love
find the right partner again.
Too bad
So sad
Guess you have no one to blame.
Oh wait
Yes you do
Yourself
While I…..
I learn to be free.
January 30/19
Advertisements

Freedom Found

Cold shadows
undulate down the wall
slithering
skittering
making me cower.
I shrink down
pull my knees close
head tucked in
hiding
hoping I will be unsighted
glanced over
ghost that I am.
Frost
bitter
drowning when all come near
ravens fly
calling my name
subduing chilling screams.
Wrath
plummeting to my
demise
destruction
sudden wings explode
flapping
spiralling
soaring
feeling warmth….
sunlight.
Ice melts
water flows
freedom has been found
with belief of myself.
December 9/18

Good Girl

Usually a good girl
kept her mouth shut
head bent
eyes cast down
always ready to be blamed.
No one looked twice at her.
Submissive to the core.
Sold into slavery
sex trade
men
always
more and more men
telling her what to do
how to be
what role was expected from her.
Night after night
fear
pain
distress
hardening a child’s heart
until
rage
so long supressed
so long tamped down
began
to simmer
to boil
to rise.
No one foresaw
no one believed
the massive eruption
from a child so small.
With blade in hand
stealth
moving from room to room
each throat slit
a link
breaks the chain.
Finally
they were no more
she was free.
To become the monster they bred.
December 6/18
Photo by Stephany Lorena on Unsplash

Near You

You have pushed me
pulled me
moved me from the staid
to the exciting.
Watching
my head thrown back
hair tossed by the wind
I wrap my legs around your waist
my screams of delight
echo in your ear.
Never have I felt so alive
never so connected
as I do with you.
Those who do not understand
watch as we speed by
uncertain what to say.
joyous
happy
all this and more
is felt when I am near you.
Sept. 8/18

Mishandle

Have you witnessed?

Have you heard the words

rolling from his tongue?

Chanting

pontificating

orating

while all stand

mouths agape.

Holy roller

shaking

convulsing

the spirits entering

as he mishandles

the snakes.

Shaking with mirth

(stunned at the audacity)

tears fall as humor is found

(fear and pain intertwined)

the testimony of a clown

(how did it come to this?)

hell bent on destroying

(reimagining a plutocratic society)

all that democracy has built.

 

Photo by Craig Whitehead on Unsplash

 

Caught

When you look at me

your smile on your lips

my stomach does a flip

and butterflies soar.

When you touch my hand

pulling me in close

my breath catches

as I stare in your eyes.

I keep telling myself

not to do this

not to fall

for heartache is brutal

I have felt.

Swooning

your lips pressed to my ear

you whisper sweet nothings

stroking my hair.

Even as I fall

even as I let go

I know deep down

this happiness is fleeting.

I do not care.

I will live.

I will love.

I will be myself.

 

 

Death of Democracy

All were sat around the table

eyes filled with mistrust

with lust

with a desire to own

more than was just.

Ashtrays overflow

smell of stale cigars

rich cognac spilled

cheap perfume

found on whores.

Each had four darts

each map

four quadrants

each man a turn.

Throw the dart

find the quadrant you land in

and begin to negotiate.

Unbeknownst to the outside world

alive and teeming with people

four men plot the demise

of democracy

and

plan for the rise

of oligarchy.

 

Photo by Christine Roy on Unsplash