And the New Norm is?

Ah…….things are slowly settling into a new norm I suppose? I look around the store seeing husbands and wives shopping together and children too. There has been no relaxation in restrictions but I believe that people are thinking all is good. No major outbreaks. The government is lying. And they are relaxing their guard. I want to believe.  I want to think that this is going to be this easy and things will be……but that is not how my brain works. Not in the least.

Tomorrow is my last early Saturday night close. 12-8:30. Come Monday our closing hour is going to be 10 p.m. Kinda sad because I was liking the earlier time. Also got to spend more time with Tember when getting off at 8:30. However bonus is that I might be moving to all early morning cash shifts……..oh yeah!

I am going to miss this slower pace I will admit that. Having to make sure that I have everything I need or do without has made me more aware. Today my phone died on me. Am guessing I unplugged while charging last night so I had to come home first break to charge. My bank card is in my cell phone case. Cell phone at home. Could not pick anything up. But but but I need Pepsi. I ran next door. Second time I have been in Co-op when not needing gas since this whole thing started.

Really I am just blurting everything out. I want to write but the juices are not flowing so well.

Our New Reality…..when this is a compliment it puts the whole world into perspective:

I was speaking with a customer yesterday as she was bagging up her groceries. I am unable to bag the groceries if a customer is using their own bag so I stand there feeling absolutely useless. She is thanking me over and over for our being there. For coming to work. How we are just as important as doctors and nurses.

And than she made me cry. No word of a lie…..this following compliment made me tear up. And when I told my boss he said that it was the best compliment that we had  received thus far:

‘You are more important than toilet paper. We have water at home we can clean with. But if you did not come to work we would starve.’

Yes folks being compared to toilet paper made me tear up. And made me realize how much our ways are changing.

Today I had another customer tell me that there are so many valuable lessons to be learned from this all. And I agree.

Covid 19 is a horrible awful virus. It’s actual damage will not be realized for who knows how long. But what it has done is slowed us down…..made us more aware of family….of friends….of life.

I had another customer talk about how she was shopping for her parents and an aunt. How it was frustrating but on the other hand they (the seniors) were having to look things up (size/name brand/willing to accept substitutions/etc) and it was like a scavenger game for them. I said how many in situations like this are now seeing family/friends more often and that in and of itself is awesome. She looked at me funny and said she had never thought of it like that.

Too often we fill every minute of every hour with things/activities that are needless just to have every hour accounted for…..now…..I want to fill those extra minutes with memories made with my son. With my friends. With my family.

April 24/20

 

Imaginary Friend (Part 2 Bitter Revenge)

‘She ruined my life.’
Forgeries written on cheques…..
uncashable.
I am suppose to smile
give in to you
there is no possibility
forgive me?
He fell into the grave…..
I stared at the rug
rolled up
in the shape of a person.
Crouched down
grabbed an edge
shook it out.
Rolling
straightening
I glared down at her
the other half of me.
Like Hyde
she is the opposite.
I am the truth
the reality
the one who gives it all.
Sitting up
ashen face
blood red tears
I cannot escape.
There is no one there.
No one
rolled in the carpet
a figment
of my imagination.
Unique we are 
twins 
good and bad
one is real
the other already dead.
She only exists
to spill evil seed
compelling me 
to do awful deeds.
My Imaginary twin.
 
January 20/19

Nonparent

You lie to me
with a straight face
not knowing that I already know
the truth has been presented
via text
bet you wish she didn’t talk to me.
I ask you
nay plead with you
to help me parent
to have my back
to help enforce bedtimes
and electronic time
only to find out
that you think I am unreasonable.
Let us call into question
the parenting style of each
and tell me true….
who is the parent?
who is the friend?
My anger is not unexpected
nor is your response
I thought you could parent
yet I find
that the will is not there.
Stuck in your head as a teenager
you cannot see the damage you have done
he will not follow your parenting style
I will see to that.
He will learn respect
he will learn responsibility
he will learn how to be an adult
with help from me.
Keep it up
I am warning you now
time will be lost
when he realizes the game you play
deciding that you are not worth the time
or energy to stay.
Disappointment oozes in his voice
his eyes shatter with tears
you really are nothing more
than a bastard……dear.
Aug. 19/18
Photo is one of my own.