Ain’t The Brain A Funny Thing?

I am the new Sanitation champion at work.
It is not as fancy as it sounds.
Basically I audit the departments for cleanliness, sanitation, documentation etc. before the outside auditor comes in.
This is to ensure we pass.
I am the 👀👀 catching the no no’s before the big 👀👀👀’s come in.
Saturday I was explaining to the women in one department that our ppm (parts per million) was 200.
They were shocked.
Had been told it was okay to be up to 400.
I said no it has always been 200 going all the way back to when I worked in the seafood department.
I showed them the paper and noted that the 400 was in the spray bottles in Ontario.
Which lead to why on earth is it on there?
Who knows?
I told them no biggie we caught it and can fix it.
I even said it is entirely possible to blank right out.
Reading it as 200-400 ignoring/not seeing the bit about Ontario and spray bottles.
They looked at me skeptically.
As if this was possible.
So I shared this story with them:
Last Tuesday while sitting waiting to be called to have T registered I am staring at the Red and Yellow lines on the floor.
I am trying to find the green line.
The sign in front of me says please stay behind the green line until you are called.
I was so confused.
There was no green line.
After being registered we sat down again until we could be triaged.
The sign there says please stay behind the YELLOW line until you are called.
I then turn to look at the other sign again which reads:
Please stay behind the RED line until you are called.
Which makes way more sense then green.
Then yesterday I am standing at the deli counter waiting to get my customer’s order.
There are t.v.’s playing in each department with ideas and new items for that area.
Idly watching the screen my eyes are not really paying attention until I get to cursed meat.
My eyebrow shot right up and I am trying like hell to figure out why we are offering up cursed meat.
Another looked rendered the word into cured.
I laughed.
So damn hard.
Could you imagine:
I’ll take 20lbs of cursed meat. The mil is coming for supper tonight.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
©July 6/22
Picture via Free Pinterest

And Smack!

I bought myself flowers today as you can see. We have a deal where you can buy 3 bouquets for $21. I like the deep burgundy and the pop of orange and white. Brighten up my day.

This morning I woke up just before 6 a.m. I was debating about going back to sleep for another hour or so when I realized my bestie bestie bestie since grade 6 had messaged.

Propped up on my elbow, squinting at the phone as I am attempting to create a coherent text message, by now the idea is squirming into my brain that maybe I should get up. Then…..

Smack! Smack! Smack!

Right in the head.

Smack! Smack! Smack!

Right in the side of my face.

Lucky was on the pillow. Thomas was sitting next to me. They were having a hitting fight. Only it was me they were hitting!

I got up and left them to it.

©April 30/22

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