Poo

Do you see these two?

With eyes that glow in the dark

do not be fooled

they are not as cute as you think they are.

Do you smell the poo?

Well can you?

Who would ever guess

in a million years

that something so small

so furry

would make that god awful stench?

They look at me and wait

knowing that I will gag upon my fate

with scoop in hand

and mask upon my face

I excavate the offending poop

while they wait.

 

 

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Scatterbrained you think?

I have always prided myself on my great memory. I use to make fun of mom when she would forget something. Well as they say Karma is a bitch and she seems to have decided that now is payback time. I have had three incidents in the last two weeks that have me shaking my head wondering what the heck is going on. I will let y’all make your own decisions on whether or not I should be committed or just require a full time sitter/minder.

Incident #1: I am hoping I have not already blogged this.

Was having my morning coffee and got up to get my second cup. I like sugar and cream in my coffee. I was getting to the last few cubes of sugar or so I thought when I realized that the box was gone. Now, I was pretty darn sure that I had not used up all the sugar cubes. I checked the garbage can even though I was pretty positive that I had not thrown the box out. Even checked my cupboards and no cubes. I figured I must have thrown the box into the garbage to go outside and I was not going to go rooting around in there. I used the loose sugar and went to get the creamer out and what do I find? My box of sugar cubes. I do not even remember putting them in there.

Incident #2:

During my procrastination evening I was doing my laundry. My uniforms were in there so when the dryer stopped, I had to go in and pull pants, sweaters and shirts out so they did not wrinkle. Found the pants. Found the shirts. Found one sweater. I start rooting around in the dryer which is not very large, tossing things this way and that muttering the whole time ‘how on earth can I loose a sweater in here?’ I shook my head and figured I would find it later. Went into the bedroom and opened the closet door to hang up my other uniform parts and what do I find, but my other sweater.

Are you guys sensing a theme here?

Incident #3: Took place today

I was getting ready for work and decided that I was going to take my Kindle with me because all my go to people are working. So at lunch I was going to have no one to talk to. K is working. DD is working. V is at work. I mean I could go and follow her around. P is working and Auntie K is busy. See no one to talk with. And going through emails while an option meant that I would have to eat upstairs with everyone else so I had somewhere to put my lunch. I do not like eating upstairs I like my quiet time. Sat down and finished cleaning up the earlier emails I had and realized what time is was so I went into my room to get my Kindle.

The last place I had seen it was on my bed. I pulled the blanket back and stood  stupefied as it was not there. Okay so I shook the top blanket and nope nothing there. I pulled the comforter back thinking that maybe it had somehow gotten under the covers. Nope. I even did the parachute thing and shook the comforter to see if it would fall to the floor. No but two hangers did. I grabbed the pillows and threw them to the floor. Still no Kindle.

Went into the living room. Checked the coffee table. Checked under the blanket on my couch. Checked in the bathroom. Went back into my bedroom and shook the pillows. Still no Kindle. Down onto my knees to look under the bed. Thomas got a push in case he was sitting on it. Than a slight panic as I thought I had now misplaced my phone. Easy to find it was sitting on the bedside table. Glanced at the time and it was 11:15. I had to go given I was working at 11:30.

I messaged DD on my way out the door lamenting that I had misplaced my Kindle. I knew it was in the house somewhere but where remained to be seen. I kept going over and over in my mind where it could be. But I was positive that the last place I had seen it was in my bed. Got to work and sat in car for a few minutes messaging back and forth. As I typed once more that I would find it the location occurred to me.

I had planned to read during my 20 minutes on the stationary bike. So my Kindle was sitting on the tray. With my work out runners and yoga mat. Oh but dumb I am!

All I can do is shake my head. And laugh at myself. At the very least I get some great stories to tell my seniors at work who are afraid that they are having some memory issues. 🙂

Can’t serve ya!

Seriously the above is not a statement of what this post will be about. Although I suppose if you ask the customer I did provide her with bad service.

Let me set the picture for you: Southern Manitoba, the last few patches of snow are finally melting. Save for the snow hill which is now a dirty pile of sludge that is slowly evaporating beside the apartment. Everyone has been bundled up in jackets and scarfs and toques right up until last week. Friday to be exact. Today is absolutely gorgeous. I was able to sleep with my window open last night. First time of the year.

Now this is my story:

When I left for work this morning, the sun was shining. There was a light breeze tousling my hair as I locked the door and walked to my car. I was already feeling warm in my sweater but work can sometimes be very cold so I left it on.

Arriving at work, I walked across the parking lot humming to myself. It is gorgeous out. No doubt about it. Checked my phone it is 15 degrees (59 F). It is a glorious day.

I am in the express check out. Put through a few customers all of whom are in a good mood when up she comes. We chit chat about things and I ask how she is liking the weather outside? Imagine my shock and consternation when she tells me that it is already too hot for her. Without thinking this is what shot out of my mouth:

“I am very sorry m’aam, but I won’t be able to serve you.”

She is staring at me as if I am serious and I burst out into peals of laughter. I reassured her that I was not about to send her off to another till. That I was teasing. Finished with her order, loaded it into her cart and sent her off on her way.

And than spent the rest of my day reassuring myself that not everyone was crazy by asking how they were enjoying the weather outside. To which all responded that it was beautiful and other than the wind (which had picked up and was blowing from the north) it was a great day.

March winds have become the end of April winds. Which means that we are about a month behind in seasons here in Manitoba. Mother Nature really needs to get her act together. 🙂

Stormy Sunshine

Today has been one of those days that began with a storm and ended in sunshine. T and I went head to head this morning. Screaming. Crying. I told him to shut up. He tried to hit me. Unsuccessfully before you get up in arms. I easily batted his hands away as he was screaming at me not to touch him. I locked myself in my bedroom. Eventually things settled down.

I am not proud of either of our behaviors. However a friend told me that some times you need to assert your authority. Remind them who the boss is. I had forgotten about that. T apologized to me and our morning ended with my dropping him off at school. And trying to teach him some times tables on the way to school. He did not like my attempts even though I was trying to teach him some short cuts. I told him that in either grade 3 or grade 4 (positive it was grade 3) I use to be sent off to a quiet room off the library to do my times tables. I had some issues learning them as well. I still use short cuts I taught myself when I need to times some numbers.

Went to work intent on talking to my boss about my return to 8 hour shifts May 14th.  However he was busy and I did not catch him before my shift started. So I forced him to talk to me on my 15 minute break. That I set my timer for. I wanted to know how he was feeling about me. What he thought and/or felt about my return. What we were planning to do.

He asked me how I felt I was doing. How I was doing. Not how the front was doing but me. And what did I do, I told him everything that I was noticing that was wrong. Again I need to learn how to not do these things. I need to step back and do my job. Just my job. Not manage but interact with the customers. Talk with people. I am uncertain if I should go and mention that I realize my error in listing out what I was seeing or if I should leave it alone.

We decided that I am going to work Customer Service and Cashier until the end of June. During this time I am going to decide whether or not I want to remain the Lead Supervisor. If I want to step down and be a supervisor. Or completely remove myself from the supervisory responsibility altogether and become full time Customer Service/Cashier. Still at same wage. Still with same benefits. Still with 40 hours a week. And no responsibility. None. Other than to come in and do my job.

While talking with my friend, I listed out all the pros. This here is the largest one, even though I have gone back to work my creative juices have been flowing. I am having ideas galore, some are funny, some are dark, but they are there. I have begun working on my first collection of short stories and poetry. I am excited. Last night I did not want to go to bed at 10 p.m. because I wanted to be writing. I woke up at 4 and thought about getting up to write but I had been in the middle of a great dream and decided that I wanted to try and recapture it.

Tonight I have had two ideas pop up and a third in play. My first batch is a little dark, okay a lot dark and warped.  My comedic ideas are totally lighter.  I think that once I get some of this darkness out of me, I will settle into a balance. This is the joy of writing short stories, I can write about everything and anything.

My evening has been good. I did not turn on the t.v. until around 6. I was home at 2. Although I did not do a full work out I did do my toning exercises. Supper was pork tenderloin sliced thin, 4 slices of cheese toast and salad. I was famished. As I was cooking I realized/spotted the above item on the floor. I picked it up and was about to throw it away when I realized what it was.

I had bought T a 6 pack of Powerade. It is one of the rings that hold the 6 together. He snipped it so that when it went into the garbage and eventually made it to the dump, that no animals could get tangled up in it. So I must be doing something right.

Okay, now I am so embarrassed.  I was asking T where he had learned to cut the loops so as to save the animals. And he looks at me like I have grown 2 horns. Has no idea what I am talking about. I explain to him how birds can get tangled in them, smaller animals etc. He is shaking his head. So I ask why he is cutting the loops. So he can get the drink out. I could only stare at him. I told him I had been bragging about him all over the place. And now alas, I am wrong about his motives. Where oh where did I go wrong? (JK)

Blow it!!

T has been feeling a little under the weather for the last couple of days.

Runny nose. The right side of his neck (throat) hurts when he swallows. A headache. Pain in the sinus area.

Like all moms I have been harassing him non-stop to blow his nose. He refuses because ‘Mom it never helps!’ It does if you do it more than once.

Yesterday morning there were tears. T was feeling the stuffy nose, the sore throat, he did not want to go for his eye appointment.

I was sitting on the couch having my coffee when he comes out into the living room and plops down on the couch next to me. He looks over at me and says:

‘Mom I can smell now! My nose is okay.’

‘Wow what happened? Did you blow it?’

He looks at me all squinty eyed not impressed with me in the least.

‘Are you being sarcastic mom?’

‘Me never!’

‘You know you really are not funny.’ I was standing in front of him laughing away.

‘Maybe not to you but all the other moms out there are going to find this hilarious. Just blow your nose when I tell you to and this will not be a problem.’

Needless to say as I chortled away T sat with his arms crossed staring at me with that look. Which only made me laugh more.

The Man Under the Bed

Today’s blog is brought to you by a sudden winter storm that closed schools for the first time this school season
Chore time. The much dreaded, much argued time of the day. I kind of pick and chose the times when I have T his chores. Mostly because I do not remember until that moment. I have him put dishes away, change garbage bag and take garbage out to dumpster, feed the cats and the dreaded scoop the cat litter.
Yesterday he was hanging out in his room when I hollered at him that it was time to do the cat litter. He whined. I remained firm and kept repeating get out here and clean the cat litter. He whined some more before coming out into the kitchen. I am mixing the salad as he moans and gripes that it is so unfair that he has to scoop out the cat litter. Why did he have to do it? He was right in the middle of this cool video. My reply which got me that look was that there was a really neat feature that allowed you to pause the video exactly where you were and it will be there when you came back. He muttered away under his breath grabbing a plastic bag out of the plastic bag bag. I have two of them.
T asks me if there is a human being in the storage room.
My Response?
Not unless the guy I had tied up under my bed escaped.
What?
T did not understand what I meant. So I went back over it again and he stared at me like I had grown horns. I really was not being funny he informed me, all I had done was creeped him out. Now that I think of it, I should have crept after him and yelled boo into the storage room. I would have laughed, he would have screamed, I may have ended up wearing cat litter. It maybe a good thing that I did not do that.