Which Came First

Dads get all the laughs and groans. Really is just not fair. Therefore I have started a new category: Bad Mom Humor.  I would love any and all submissions. Comment your joke in the comment section or via contact. I know y’all got them jokes you wish you could share with an appreciative audience. Well here I am……I do not care how bad if we can make one another laugh let’s do it.

I have two for some may have missed my 1st foray into Bad Mom Humor:

Bad Mom Humor

And today’s joke:

Today is Canada Day.
July 1st.
We became a country in 1867.
Saturday is Independence Day.
July 4th.
The U.S. signed the Declaration.
91 year difference.
Conversation with gf in Florida:
Me: Holiday here today
DFl: Nice. Saturday is ours.
Me: I know…..but we came first (July 1)
bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
©July 1/20
Picture via Pinterest

He Screwed With my List

Tember likes music.
I like music.
The Ex likes music.
No this is not a Dr. Seuss like post.
I have Spotify for my music interests. Pay for the first level…..no ads……playlists…….I like it what more do I need?
Well……
Enter Tember……
He wants to listen to music.
Spotify can be downloaded to his phone so that when he is walking home from school
he has music to listen to.
Ok I am down with that.
He creates his own playlist.
Tember’s likes.
I am not paying attention…..I mean really what difference is it going to make?
It does…….it makes a whole lot of difference……
People get the family plan…..do not share with your children…..
Please let this be a cautionary tale:
Saturday morning am going to clean the apartment.
Set the laptop up on the kitchen counter…..click on Spotify……Release Radar……Play.
Dancing around washing dishes wiping counters when suddenly screaming chainsaws causing bleeding ears.
Oh hell no. Skip to next song.
Wait? What? I do not listen to screaming cats?
WTH?
Half my damn playlist is screeching death metal.
No no no no.
I have nothing against Death Metal.
I have friends who love Death Metal.
I do not understand but to each his own.
I figure some weird ass glitch. And I mean weird ass. Gave it a pass. Jumped over to my liked song list and away I went with cleaning.
Fast Forward two weeks:
Getting ready to clean apartment.
Set up laptop.
(Sensing a theme?)
Grooving around the kitchen when suddenly Country…….which I do not have an issue with….but that was all my Release Radar was filled with.
Now I am going to admit that I was a tad disgruntled. I mean seriously until now Spotify has been well spot on (pardon the sorta pun)
Again I figured that it was a wee bit of a glitch.
Until two weeks later….
I was cleaning…..
set up lap top and…..
my damn list is half screaming death metal and half pining country.
I am stupefied.
Tember is sleeping when I go roaring into his room……demanding to know……has he been listening to music on my Spotify?
Tousled and sleepy he peers at me not quite certain why mom is demanding to know about his music tastes at the ungodly hour of 11 a.m. on a Saturday morning.
Finally the mystery is solved.
Spotify has not suddenly lost its mind.
It is not trying to determine my song choices.
What it was doing was amalgamating my likes and Tember’s.
And since his tastes are a combo of his father’s and my own with his own my song list is right weird.
****I know that there are people reading this thinking does she not know about the family plan? And yes I do. However it was a half day experiment
that proved too much for myself and Tember.*****
A side benefit though is when AC/DC seamlessly segues into Taylor Swift leading up to Guns and Roses…….maybe a combined playlist is not all that bad.
June 18/20