Virtueless

Patience is a virtue. It is one that I do not have.

I have no patience. Well no that is not true, I have patience for certain things but alas there are two things that can send me right around the bend. I will be cursing and tearing my hair out (mentally not aloud). People who do not do the speed limit and slow walkers.

Of late, I seem to get stuck behind the slow drivers. Tuesdays, around 9:20 a.m. I have learned to remain in the right hand lane until I have passed him. Yes him clutching his steering wheel, staring straight ahead, doing 40 km (24.86 miles for my states friends :)) in the 70 km (43.50 miles) portion of the highway. He is driving in the left hand lane, all the time, not to pass people, but holding them all up.

I forgot about him one Tuesday morning until I saw the lane of cars crawling along and I glanced at the dashboard clock. I whipped into the left lane and zipped around him. Worse is the man is a regular customer and I have to bite my tongue. I mean really it isn’t as though I can explain to him how what he is doing is not only dangerous but makes everyone else around angry, because he is in his 80’s and would not listen to reason. Least of all from a woman. (That is a total other story)

This morning, I am on the way to the city to pick up my contacts. There is this pale blue car in front of me doing 30 in a 50 zone. And than she/he decided that I was too close so they slowed to 20. Thankfully this one pulled off within a moment or so because I was gnashing my teeth and saying some rather unpleasant things.

Here’s karma for you, coming back home the same damn car pulled out in front of me in an 80 zone doing 60. And again felt I was too close so slowed to about 55. I could not pass because I was in the passing lane and the right hand side had a steady stream of cars passing me. Again thankfully, one of us turned off and it was me. This time I chuckled to myself and shook my head.

When I got to the city I did a mad dash to the bathroom, cursing the fact I had had those few extra sips of coffee before leaving the house. I was actually afraid to get out of the car because I thought if I stood up I would have an accident right there. Thankfully there was nothing and no one to impede my gallop through the hallways.

Now the stores at St. Vital mall do not open until 10 which saved me some extra money because I was going to busy some candles. (Damn Bath & Body, sending me email flyer 3-wick candles $12.99 plus a 25% off coupon.) I was texting and walking which I am rather accomplished at (use to always walk home from library reading and walking so I have the quick head bob to check surroundings down pat) when suddenly there they were.

Three across, two deep, strolling along, the dreaded mall walkers. They are the folks who walk around the malls before the stores open to get their exercise. Me? I am the opposite of a slow walker. So there I am, walking behind them unable to find an opening to pass. The middle is filled with kiosks and the other side goes in the opposite direction. I was giggling as I walked behind them. Finally a break appeared and I dashed passed.

The other area where I have problems are shoppers. Saturday. In the store I work at. Our aisles are narrow. You can barely fit one person going west and one person going east (to give you and idea) and I am a flier. When I am getting or looking for something for a customer. On occasion I can slip through sideways but majority of the time I get frustrated and either dart up to pharmacy and get around that way or down the cleaning aisle.

Which leads me to the whole point of the blog. Patience. Something out there is trying to teach it to me. The slow drivers are a more recent occurrence but the slow walkers are not new.

The lesson I need to learn: Slow it down. Stop barreling ahead. Blinders on, my view narrow and focused. Slowing down allows me to finally see what I have been missing. Joy. Wonder. Beauty. It may take me a bit but now that I realize what lesson I am being taught I can actively work on it. (Except for slow drivers those I can always pass except when I can’t.)

 

Circumcision

So like any good mother I have terrorized and probably caused T some psyche scarring.
We were watching House as I was exercising. Well I was watching House and T was playing with his lego on his couch, back to the televison. Something caught his attention and he turned to watch the opening scene. A man had come into the clinic and House was trying to determine what reason brought him in. Apparently the man’s new girlfriend had never been with an uncircumcised man and had been a little freaked out. So the guy had taken a box cutter and cut the excess skin off.
T looks over at me absolutely horrified and asks if the man had cut his penis off?!?
I have two choices here. Maybe some would have gone with the ‘no it is only a show’ and left it at that. Choice number one. I on the other hand took choice number two. I tried to explain to him what circumcision was. How it use to be very common when boys were born that the foreskin was removed. That now a days it was a choice made by the parents. There was no real reason to have it removed. Unless your are Jewish and I did not explain that because I really do not know the religion behind it.
T stared at me disbelief written all over his face. And I realized that I was doing a very bad job explaining this medical procedure to him. So I did what any one wanting to scar their male child even more does, I googled it. Clicked on the images and handed the phone to him. T scrolled through pictures making comments like that looks like an old man’s (???) and rather grossed out. He handed back the phone to me and stared.
‘Mom am I circumcised?’
‘No, you still have the extra skin. That is why you have to be very thorough in cleaning. Otherwise you can get bacteria trapped, infections can start and than you might have to be circumcised as a teen or adult. And from my understanding that can be extremely painful.’
T thought about it for a few more moments. I could actually see the wheels turning as he struggled with the concept. Finally he looked at me and in all innocence asked me how if they cut off the penis as a teenager or adult did the guy get to have sex?
I reassured him once more that the penis itself was not cut off. That sex was still a possibility. But that was a conversation for another time. When he was a little older and needed to have that discussion. I am pretty confident that I will be receiving a text from the Ex later asking me what the hell was going on over here that I felt the need to explain something like circumcision to our son. And like always I will tell him that I would rather answer T’s questions myself or he will get the information somewhere else. And honestly, if anyone is going to scar him it really should be me because well, I am a little warped that way.  LOL 😂😂😂😂