Granny’s Guide

Once

when I was younger

picking

shucking

popping peas

I asked granny

‘granny’

I asked

‘how do you love a man?’

Granny

she of quirky hats

looked at me

squinting through swirling smoke

knowing grin on her lips

sage nod.

‘Girly’

for that was her name for me

‘girly it is easy

you make sure he is smart

not smart mouthed 

book smarts.

You make sure he is handsome

not like a movie star

handsome never fades.

You make sure he is kind

not only when you are looking

but when others can see

and you cannot.

You make sure he makes you laugh

for tears will be aplently.

You make sure he loves you

will be there for you

hold your hand 

stand for you

otherwise your home is an empty nest.’

Gathered up her gardening

into the house we went

granny was teaching me

old family recipe

handed down

liquid sauce

gold in these here hills.

My face is weathered

my time grows short

here

my own inquisitor

asking the same as I…..

Granny told me

‘take all these parts 

quilt them together 

with your love

with his love

happiness the thread

sorrow the truth 

but girly’

she looked at me

piercing steel eyes

‘always remember this

it is hard work

not easy

ain’t nothing good 

that comes from easy.’

Wise words to live by

wise words indeed

passed along

granny

to

granddaughter

always.

©April 22/20

Picture via Pinterest

Hello…..

Hello…..

is it me you are looking for?

Lionel 

is that you?

High

low

searching

wondering

can I?

will I?….. 

find you

looking in the cupboard

one

two

shit

down to the last roll.

I stalk the streets

heeding whispers

listening to rumors

on the hunt

on the look out

for that elusive creature

the one that keeps me clean

oh my

Toilet Paper

when did you become god

when did I need to reserve

just a roll

to ensure

I had what I need

when in need.

(Grandma…..

lesson learned

going forward

toilet paper shall be bought 

on sale 

never ending

so again 

never shall I face this plight)

Oh my

it makes me giggle

it makes me laugh

look at me with disdain

I do not care

last I checked

this ain’t no ass illness…..

respiratory.

Lungs.

Lungs people.

‘Dem t’ings y’all breath through.

(sad

 sad

rhyme

sad

sad

accent

I hear it better than I speak it

smile)

Never

not in a million years

trite as that statement may be

did I ever think

that toilet paper

would become more sought after than gold

that limits would have to be imposed

but:

can you spare a square?

Just one square?

Homage to Lionel….

Homage to Seinfeld….. 

Please do not sue me

Please….. 

Cease and Desist……

much better….. 

cause 0% of 0%…..

well……

it equals 0%…..

unless you do the new math

than it could mean anything. 

©April 10/20

Picture is my own