First Day Jitters

Hi all;

I am taking the lazy lady way today. Rhymed without meaning to. Also today’s word of the day is underdog and despite thinking about it all day I can come up with nothing. Also I was at work for 6 a.m. this morning and my brain is a little fitzy. I may write something yet but don’t hold your breath please.

So:

Here is the link to my post on Best Life Collaborative.

First Day Jitters.

My little ‘Murican

T is a comedian. I am not sure if the video will upload or even play. But he is hilarious. I do not know where he got this accent from all of a sudden. However this blog is not about him even though I am sharing his video lol.  Okay maybe this blog is a little bit about him.

This has been a fabulous week for me and T. We sat three times at the dinner table. Thursday evening we didn’t but T played on the couch next to me as I ate. (He had already eaten dinner at AK’s before I picked him up.) And Friday well omg!

Friday I awoke and was not feeling good. Stomach was just rolling and as I sat at the kitchen table trying to wake up I was like ‘please do not let me throw up, please do not let me throw up’. I despise throwing up. Hate it. I didn’t but the nausea stayed with me. My body was starting to ache and if I moved to quickly, the floor waved at me. I swallowed hard and went to work, thinking that I could do it. I could not. I was counting inventory and came up short no matter how I looked at it. My head was throbbing. I needed to be at home in bed. So I went. I text K2 asking her to write down my hours and laid down. Immediately I was up and running to the bathroom.

Whatever it was it all came up and out. I had had nothing to eat since the previous night. So basically it was bile. TMI? Think how I felt as it all spewed out of me. It was like every dark monster that I had ingested decided to eject itself from me. All the anguish and anxiety, all the ebony moments that make me cry, gone. You wonder why I am making this analogy? Because after it happened, although exhausted, I did not feel like shit.

This week I have been flying. Okay Tuesday was a peculiar day but my circle enclosed me in warm hugs and love and I got through it. I still was happy at times. Eventually though I have to fall down and go boom. Friday happened to be that day. I wish that it had not been Friday, I would have rather worked and than crashed, but I have no control over this. What I can hope for is that there won’t be a requirement for a sick day for another ten months or so. I believe that I may have to discuss with my boss the need for a mental health day. He needs to understand that even though for the most part I have my depression under control, there are going to be days when it creeps up on me. This is the nature of depression.

So last night I did not feel like cooking supper. We had pizza and cheese stix. Well T had pizza and cheese stix. I nibbled at my pizza but my stomach although empty was not quite ready to accept sustenance. Both of us were abed by 10 p.m. Protests on my part begging on T’s.

I was awake at 5 a.m. this morning. T followed me an hour later. Yes folks he was up at 6 a.m. despite my yelling at him to go back to sleep. His response, his mattress is bad and he has a hard time sleeping on it. At 9 we left to have breakfast and go shopping.

We went through the fastest food drive thru and it was awesome, no cars in front of us. I almost did not know where to stop. But we got our food. 2 of everything for T and 1 of everything to me. Ate everything, until, I saw it. I pulled it free of the cheese and showed it to T who immediately said ‘oh gross mom it is a ladybug.’ Now, I do not want to smear the good name so I will add that it could have been a crisp of piece off the bacon. However that had been my first thought and now I was grossed out. Off we went to Wal-Mart.

That is where the below video took place. T also wanted a onsie. And I caved. I am shaking my head.

As we are walking up to the store, he looks up and realizes that there are two flags. One is the Canadian Flag. One is the Manitoba flag. However, he believes that the Manitoba flag is an American flag. And he is yelling this to me at the top of his lungs despite being right next to me. I do think I finally got it through to him that it was not the American flag. Forgot to find and show him one will have to google it.

We had an amazing time shopping. T got his onsie. He also turned into an 80 year old man in front of my eyes as he stated ‘those were the memories’ talking about 4 months ago. He found a mattress that his dad offered to help me with.

That was really the whole point to this blog. How his dad and me have grown and become adults. T and me were talking about K3 and his parent/teacher conference. He would like her to be there. So I shot off a text to her. Also wants to get her a present so I had to find out her size and color likes or dislikes.

I appreciate that M wants to help me. It has taken me a bit to be okay with it. I am a strong independent woman lol, why should I need help? But there are times that I do. So if help is offered than I need to be gracious in accepting it.

Our week is drawing to an end so I am going to go spend more time laughing and chilling with my son. My heart, my love, my heart and soul. No one will ever hold a claim to my heart like he does. Every day I am amazed at this child who is a part of me, my life.

T also told me last week that I deserve to be published. Just for that I think I will keep him.