It Surprises Me Too

I am opinionated.
I have a strong personality.
I am I think fairly laid back and not conservative at all.
Then I began to look at my relationships.
By far those that I interact with in person are most conservative.
Christian.
Married.
Children.
And than there is me.
And my bestie C.
We are both single.
We always did march to the beat of a different drummer 不不不 lol.
Than I looked at the friends that I have made from afar.
In the States.
There are a few of you.
And when this lockdown period is over and the borders re-open it is going to be a helluv a North meets South party.
Across the Pond.
And those here in Canada as well.
And by and large they are all laid back.
Driven.
Most are divorced with children.
Wracking my brain and it is my two Canadian neighbors that are committed.
Conservative they are not.
(This assumption is totally based on my reading of their blogs and conversations in the comments. I may in fact be disparaging them calling them unconservative. Is that a real word?)
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha maybe I just live in the wrong country?不不不不
The whole reason that I started to think about this is that I have two males in my life that are rabid disbelievers in the effects of Covid.
And I refuse to argue with them.
I refuse to because they are not willing to listen to me and I hate to say it when my blood gets to boiling and I can hear it in my head I go deaf and become belligerent.
This is a part of me that I am attempting to work on.
It is not easy to be willing to listen to a different side than your own.
Let alone see through their eyes.
Again work in progress on that one.
The diversity in character of my friends always delights me.
Regardless of what we all believe in.
What I know is that they are all to me part of my vast family.
Whether I have met you or whether we are voices on paper and the occasional skype or messenger video call I adore each and everyone of you.
Your words and presence in my life makes me richer and so much better.
Thank you.
Regardless of if we agree on things or not once you are lodged in my heart it takes a lot to dislodge you.
I am like an octopus
Once I stick I am hard to pull off.
This morning Loki decided that I was going to be his chair.
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Anyone ever try to type whilst holding a cat in their arms?
No easy feat especially since he keeps grabbing me to hug him closer.
PS: 6 days and 3 hours.
穢May 12/21
Pictures are my own.

Society’s Norms

Yesterday during my massage my therapist and I were discussing relationships.
And how they are defined.
We talked about what was the point in being with someone if you can see you are not going to marry them?
I never wanted to get married.
I have always struggled in relationships with men as I lost myself in the care of them.
But at the same time I enjoy the company of men.
In more ways than just conversation if ya catch my drift.
Which lead me to thinking about how society defines us.
Grow up.
Get married.
Have kids.
Retire.
Die.
I mean yes there are a whole lot of things that are going on but to be succinct about it a brief list.
From the time that we are children everything around us is defined by adults.
Our ideas.
Our morals.
Our viewpoints.
As teenagers we begin to suss out our places.
We begin to discover who we are.
Who we want to be.
If we are lucky.
Some of us take a little longer.
Some of us miss out on teendom due to home life circumstances.
As adults we are suppose to have a firm grip on our wants and needs.
We are to put aside the childish and lose our wonder.
Forget the magic that resides in all of us.
Be stoic.
Work and pay bills.
Buy more things.
Hope for more happiness.
More and more I realize who I want to be and who I am.
I can tell you if ever faced with a situation that I have been morally outraged over would I have the courage to take a stand?
I don’t know in all honesty.
But I want to be a voice.
I want to spread joy.
I want to spread laughter.
A lot of laughter.
I want to love being who I am with everything I am.
Which brings me around to the conversation about relationships.
And how for society it is defined so rigidly.
Man and Woman.
We are beginning to loosen up.
We are beginning to accept that there are more than just the set definition that has played out for centuries.
How I live my life and my relationships are my business.
No one one needs to know about them.
No one needs to know if I am hanging out with one man or 10.
And no one should they know need to have any opinion about it.
Yesterday T and I were having a conversation about this as we sat in the line up at A&W.
T: I thought that you don’t have relationships mom.
Me: I don’t. I have friendships. But does it matter if I have one guy or 10?
T: Nooooooooooooo.
Me: It’s okay buddy I only have 5.
T: That’s goo…….wait what?
Me: OMG your face.
I laughed so hard.
T was not impressed.
All I can say is this: As long as all adults are consensual it does not matter how you live and love. Be Safe. Stay Safe. And Live your Love your way.
穢April 19/21
Picture is my own