Happiness Is…..

When I was drinking I was always tired.
Irritable.
Not that that has changed the irritability my lack of drinking so I have determined that it is a general irritation with the world at large.
People have becoming ruder and ruder as we remain in this unusual time period.
I keep hoping for change but alas…..
However that is not what this post is about.
A wee bit about drinking but not about Covid.
Drinking=hung over/ickiness
Now…..
My customer this week had asked for green bananas.
And last week I kind of failed in that I had no green bananas so I found the least yellow but still.
I understand they need to last a week.
As I was stood in front of the display of bananas cringing because not a green one was in sight and the ones I had seen in the back were only slightly less yellow I thought to myself ‘Jay just go to the back and look. Maybe you missed something.’
banana 2
I suppose you are wondering how it is that I could miss green bananas?
Boxes and boxes.
And I cannot lift those boxes to get at the ones below.
When I went to the back one of the produce guys had just dismantled the boxes thus providing me with…..green bananas.
green 2
When he took the box top I chortled in glee.
As I walked to the front of the store I realized how happy I was because I could fulfill my customer’s order totally.
And that is what my story is about.
Me realizing how far I have come when I find great delight is something as simple as green bananas.
green
©April 17/21
Pictures via Pinterest

What if?

What if?
After your heart has mended
your tears have dried
no longer 
cuddling with pillows
still holding his scent
your phone were to ping.
What if?
One last wish
one last breath held
heart flutters
seeing his name
trembling smile
could it be true
had he come back…..
to play?
What if?
Truth always told
second 
always you will be 
yet 
happiness
in world does bloom
selfish
you know
here you have been before
pain only
upon this path does walk
courting it
you are.
What if?
Could you forgive?
Could you accept?
No more time
less in fact
five minutes in life
an eternity in fantasy
eyes cast in agony
doubt frustrates
drawn back within
yearning
aching 
for his touch.
What if?
Could you
would you
should you
pain that path lays
loneliness
empty nights
littered with tears
empty bottles
liquid love
easing ache
you could do without.
What if?
What ifs 
a useless game
designed 
to frustrate
to employ
wishes
dreams
wants
desires
hidden deep 
taken out
as night blackens
stars atwinkle
wish upon one…..
What if…..
 
©Oct. 21/20
Picture via Pinterest