Choices

This is a continuation of River Styx, Desert Red, Waste/Safe Land, Harlequin and My Knight.
We travelled
mostly in silence
chirps of birds
chittering of squirrels
sometimes the only sound I heard.
I sensed
felt
knew
that somehow I disappointed
this gentle giant.
I did not know how
nor what I could do
to rectify my mistakes.
We avoided cities
towns
any sign of civilization
until the abuse done to me
physical abuse
had healed.
The scars on my mind
woke me
screaming in the night
from nightmares
where Harlequin still ruled.
He began to train me.
Sword.
Knife.
Skulking.
Shadow hopping.
Every conceiveable way
I could now
protect myself from harm.
I woke one morning
to find him gone
disappeared
into the mists of my past.
I walked alone
ruing my mentor‘s departure
for I still did not know……
where I was?
who I was?
what journey
what choices must I make?
Sept. 18/18
Photo by Anders Nord on Unsplash
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Waste/Safe Land

***This poem is a continuation from River Styx and Desert Red
Travelling the desert
a hundred days
I felt sand
scouring
flaying
devouring
flesh from my bones
molding
forming
another me.
Peddlar man
quiet
plodding along
but inherently
seeking oasis after oasis
as I needed rest.
he refused to answer
any
all
cajoling
questions.
Shaking his head
not in annoyance
more like a parent indulging their child.
We crested that last sandhill
my mouth fell open
a silent o
as before us
spread out
a verdant sea
tears spilling down my face.
Sept. 15/18
Photo by Robert Lukeman on Unsplash

I will…..

Standing atop the mountain
staring down
above clouds skitter across the sky
below
a fall that could mean death
unless I trust I can soar.
My tongue is swollen
words I wish to say
locked in
my throat closes
leaving me breathless.
My heart hammers
pounding
against my ribs
a hand
reaching within
squeezing
ripping it without.
Fall too fast
fall too far
always told to not be rash
to bide my time
to furl in my desires
all will come eventually.
Leaping before I look
before I gauge the situation
trusting myself.
I will fly.
I will fall.
I will be caught.
I will find my truth.
It is out there
waiting on me.
Sept. 7/18
Photo by Mike Wilson on Unsplash

Believe

Coffee wafts through the air
senses becoming alert
no time to feel despair
no time to stop and relate
life is such a busy state
never a chance to recall
the missed times of childhood late.
Love
Misery
Divorce
Life
Reboot
Recall
Re-love?
Sunshine and swing sets
parks and long walks
children laughing
corn fattening
this is what memories play.
Work
Bills
Lawyers
Alcohol
Drugs
Fall
Get up
Give up
Come clean
Reconnect
Re-dream?
Cabin in the summer rain
war played on the carpet
memories that do explain
all about happiness.
I am not as lost as I feel to be
I am not as unfounded
ungrounded as I view myself. 
Within me lays the strength of the Titans
Within me lays the power to be
Within me lays the well of hope
all I need to do is believe. 
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
April 29/18

The Devil Dances

**Picture found on Internet**
Once it was written in the stars
that as the truth appeared
slithering snakes
would begin to shed their skins
and attempt to destroy it all.
We hail the great white chief
pandering to his lack of brains
listening with blood lust
to his tales of war to come
when the world shall be revamped
in the image he foresees.
There is no hope.
There is no love.
We have come to be
in this terrible time
all because
the 1% grasped with fingers fat
draining the bank
and taxing the poor.
Wait though
that is not the only truth
not all want to destroy.
If you look over there
see the huddled masses
wanting nothing more than to find peace.
Peace in all lands
peace to engage
in conversations and love affairs
without worry that death will come calling.
He rides the pale horse
scythe in hand
reaping the souls of innocents.
Laughter rings out
the world afire
no time
no way back.
And the devil capers in delight
as destruction reigns down
in a blazing light.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen

Desperate Reverie

With desperate reverie
I swim the seas of my life
hoping I will reach the buoy in the distance
before drowning in sorrow.
Nightmares and fears
bleak and barren
they follow me across this land
where am I going?
When will I find the sunrise
that claims my soul
that clears my mind
that eases the pain that clings
like sticky strands of webbing
holding me in place.
I crave peace
I crave happiness
I crave a life that can be lead
with assurance and confidence.
I stand upon the mountain top
staring at the expanse before me
snow covered tops
green valleys beneath.
Here at last I can take a deep breath
I can finally believe
that the best is before me
and the past has been laid to rest.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen

She’s a little pushy

This is going to be a wee bit of a brag.

T has informed me that the time has come for me to move beyond my poetry to short stories. He would like to see me stories like his. The Adventures of Pickle. Kids book he has created.

I have been mulling over an idea or what I thought the idea was going to be. Last night I grabbed my notebook and opened up a new page in Evernote Notebook Fiction. I wrote for an hour. At times my fingers flew across the keyboard as my character began to take shape. Imagine my surprise when my main character morphed from male to female and the male lead is becoming a secondary character.

I wrote 1249 words last night.

I could have continued writing but than I would only be going to bed now. I have not written a short story since the early 2000’s. I am so excited and even now she is hovering at the edge of my conscious poking me as though saying ‘Hey Jay what are you doing? I am here, c’mon let’s get going I have so much to tell you.”