I am not a Runner

Anyone who knows me and a few who don’t realize I do not run. Except under certain situations. Such as the one that arose yesterday.

My 10 a.m. regular Tuesday morning curb order arrived for pick up. All was wonderful. As I loaded up her groceries I was letting her know I was on holidays next week and who would be doing orders. Also reminded her that it was a Tuesday after the long weekend so she would need to wait for a call.

I closed the trunk of her SUV and pushed my cart back. Waved good bye and entered the building. I pushed my cart against the wall and struggled with the door. It is an emergency exit so I have to lean against the bar to flick the door thingie that keeps it closed. I don’t know what else to call it.

As I was leaning there I glanced over and realized that her box with her bread and bananas was sitting on the shelf.


I grabbed the box and bolted out the door. She had begun to drive away and I began running after her vehicle. Pony tail swinging. Legs pumping. In my head I am laughing maniacally hoping like hell I was not about to wipe out with her groceries and fall on my face.

Thank goodness my customer takes her time. Had she been going faster I never would have caught up with her. I think I shocked her when she finally saw me. She stopped and I put her box in the back of her vehicle and waved her off.

I was walking back across the parking lot laughing at and congratulating myself. Another successful pick up completed. Then stopped in my tracks. In my desire to get to my customer I had not flicked the thingie that keeps door open.

Thankfully there is a way I can get in without having to call for help. I mean it was not -40 so walking around would not have been a chore. But if you know how to do it no one has to know that you just locked yourself out for the 101st time. 不不不不不不不

What’s In a Face?

Last evening T and I were talking and I asked him what time his dad was picking him up on Saturday.
T told me that he wasn’t going to pick him up that grandma and poppa were stopping to get him.
I kind of kerchuffed under my breath.
T: What?
Me: What what?
T: Why are you annoyed?
Me: I am not annoyed. (And I was not despite his assertion that I was. I was amused that once more the Ex found a way to get out of having to see me since the dreaded I have something to tell you text)
T: Yes you are you are making that face.
Me: I am not making a face and I kerchuffed!
T: Mom that was the noise you make when dad does something you don’t like.
Me: I do not have a face. Or a noise!
T: Yes you do. First you make that noise. Second you tuck your head down and your double chin shows. Then you cut your eyes to the left. And lastly you sigh very loudly.
Me (gasping for air and blinded by tears): You are lying! I do not do that.
T: Mom you do.
He then proceeded to stand in front of me and show me what I apparently looked like.
I cried from laughing so hard.
I also was not believing him that I did this.
Fast forward to this morning and am texting with people.
I mention what T had said to me last night and received two responses.
M: Well I know when something is trying your patience.
Me: How?
M: Mouth closed. Long deep inhale through the nose.
Me: My annoyance level at work is gauged in two ways: Annoyed is pinching the bridge of my nose. Rubbing my face and I have moved directly into the WTF phase. (Now I have expanded because my dear readers do not have the short speak understanding M and I do.)
: Yes there is that look too. And then there is another one with the chin lift as opposed to the chin tuck. The chin tuck is specific to the Ex.
I thought that maybe I should learn to school my face a little bit.
My reasoning is that people seeing the f*** you look may be frowned upon.
I was told it was more like WTH.
Maybe what I really need to do is find me some ‘remove your double chin in 30 days’ exercises.
If I am going  to be that transparently annoyed at the very least I don’t want to look like a mushroom cap exploding from my neck.
穢May 13/22
Picture via Pinterest
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