Heart & Soul

Today’s episode of ‘Let’s see if Jay can keep her cool…..’ is brought to you by…..me!

It has been awhile (okay a long time) since I have given an update as to what is going on with me and T.

The end of the year was difficult for T and I. We had a lot of rough mornings, yelling and screaming and that was just me. He ranted and cried and refused to leave the house. We have to find a balance for next year as I am just so unprepared to deal with this. As well, he is going to soon out weigh me so it will be harder to push him out the door. 🙂 The last time we battled, I ended up grabbing him by the back of the neck and frog marching him into the bathroom. Than dragged him out by his arm. All while he screamed ‘stop hurting me, you’re hurting me.’ This lead to a serious discussion on the way to school let me tell you.

Now for braggy mom to come out. T sailed onto Grade 5. With flying colors. My son is a mostly A student with a couple of B’s thrown in there. The subjects that were the lower grades, well not the ones that he found to be all that enjoyable. What I need to enforce this summer is reading so that he will be going into Grade 5 on par with his peers.

Me time, me time! I have been doing awesome. I am happy. I am confident. Yes, no doubt there are days when I have a little let down but they never last long. I am setting goals for myself and although I have yet to begin working on a single one, I have them. Work is going so amazing.

Stepping down absolutely was the best thing that I could have done. I am not the same person at all. The person who worried. Who controlled. Who followed all the rules. She is gone. I am responsible for T and myself. No one else. Nothing else. I am way more relaxed. I am making changes, ones that are good for me. Exercising. Eating well. I am not sure how it could get any better. Well I can but that is a long conversation for another time.

Now let us fast forward to today’s episode on ‘Can Jay keep her cool?’

First Act: Regular customer is getting ready to pay for his groceries. Pays the same way all the time. I told him the total and hit debit and told him to go ahead and insert. He looked at me sheepishly and said: I’m sorry, I stuck it in too early.’ I bit my tongue so hard to keep from laughing out loud.

Second Act: A lady stops in front of the counter. I ask her how I can help her. This is the following conversation.

‘How can I help you today?’

‘I want a ticket.’

‘What type of ticket are you wanting?’

‘A scratch ticket.’

‘What type of scratch ticket?’

‘I guess they are all scratch tickets aren’t they?’

I could only stand and stare at her.

‘I think I will take a crossword because I like words.’

Third Act: Phone is ringing and I answer it. I do my spiel ‘Thank you for calling blah blah blah blah. How may I help you?’

‘I need a price check.’

‘Okay, on what?’

***To save on space and too boring I will give a synopsis.***

The customer had been in our store and made a purchase for her neighbor of cream. Now when she got home, there was no cream. But she paid for it. And the cashier had given her back change. $15-16. I check with the cashier and no, cream was not left behind. Ask customer if she has her receipt and am told no.

‘M’aam, maybe you were not even charged for it.’

‘But I was. I gave her a $20 and she gave me back change. I just need to know the price so I can charge my neighbor.’

‘But you don’t have the cream?’ (Yes I realize none of my business.)

‘But I paid for it and now she needs to pay me back,’

I go and check for her and come back to phone.

‘$3.99.’

‘Good so $4.00 I will charge her.’

She than hung up. Did not even ask me how we were going to fix this. Was so intent on getting her price that the fact she did not have the product seemed to have flown out the window. I would have loved to be a fly on that wall.

‘Yes Doris? You owe me $4.00.’

‘Where’s my cream?’

‘Well it never made it home with me. You still owe me $4.00 though for the cream.’

And so on and so forth. Shaking my head.

Act Four: Answering the phone, giving my spiel and realizing that a) there was no one there and b) the phone had not even rung. Thank goodness I have a great sense of humor with myself and laughed hard.

These are the type of days I have. They make great fodder for the imagination. Today’s though, they were too special to keep to myself. I love talking to people, and while there are those who would prefer to remain silent, the majority like to talk. Which leads me to this gem.

I was checking through a little old lady. She was about 90/92 I believe, she did tell me so that is how I know that it was in the 90’s. We were chatting away and I was explaining to her that sometimes I talk so much (shocker there) that I am not aware of what I am doing.

Case in point: I was chatting away with my customer and trying to scan a product. I kept moving it back and forth and finally looked down to see why I was not getting a beep. Well, it only works when you scan it with the laser, not over the deactivator. The customer and I roared.

By the time I was done, my little old lady was laughing so hard. I handed her back her change and wished her a good day.

She said to me: ‘You are good for my heart and soul. Thank you for making me laugh today.’

And that folks is how I am leaving it. I am good for the heart and soul.

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How do I know?

Truth or dare
how do I know you like me?
Question and answer
I am sure you already know
so I smile naively.
Serious though
pensive
cannot figure out
what I see
what I want
when I have no need.
I said adios
to my lovers of the past
telling all
that it would be unfair.
Unfair of me to continue
to reach out
kept in the wings
as if already admitting defeat.
There is one way
that will tell you
exactly how I feel…..
I cleaned my car
vacuumed
dust wiped
all in case
you might see the inside.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
June 30/18
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Cock-A-Doodle-Do

You have to wonder

do they really understand?

Do they see that disdain grows

disenchanted taking hold

smiles to sneers

or no?

Are their egos so large?

Is vanity thy name?

When all give reign

to the cawing rooster

bowing in servitude

there is not a wonder

that all you find

is dust

grey and gritty

filling obtuse heads.

Photo by Jairo Alzate on Unsplash

He’s Mine

“He’s Mine!”

“No, He’s Mine!”

Voices raised

screaming match

petulant siblings

unwilling to compromise.

Tugged

back and forth

seesawing motion

‘He’s Mine’

tried to struggle free.

Screams

turn to shrieks

single handed punches

finally calling forth

mama’s roaring voice.

“He’s Mine”

Tugged right.

“No He’s Mine”

Tugged left.

‘That’s enough!’

mama roared.

“Stop squabbling.

Over a little man!

Let him go right now!”

Sudden fright

sisters dropped

‘He’s Mine’

to the floor.

‘He’s mine’

wasted no time

fleeing the scene.

Quick glance

reassured

he would be a toy no more.

 

 

 

Temptation

I look longingly at you

so strong

so close

the temptation of your scent

I want nothing more

than to be in your embrace.

I lick my lips

flutter my lashes

hoping that you come closer.

Every night you enter my dreams

every day I wish you could fill my needs.

Anticipation runs high

as I wait out this diet

counting the days

until I can taste the chocolate desire.

Picture via: Photo by Taylor Kiser on Unsplash

Disappointed

Look at me with lidded eyes

your hands beside my head

bring your lips to mine

letting me taste the sweetness.

Feeling the heat

watching it rise

I cannot hide my desire

my wants

my needs from you.

Sitting side by side

finished

you ask with bated breath

‘how was it?’

How can I tell you?

What can I say?

Meh-I’ve had better.’

The icing on the cake.

 

Photo by Travis Grossen on Unsplash

Bastard……

He struts and prances

selling his wares

a snake oil salesman

with charm oozing from his hair.

Warm and pleasant

he will remember your name

your wives names (if you have more than one)

your children’s names (and who they belong to)

and even the family dog’s name.

He will take you for a walk

he will tell you what you need

by the end of the day

you will hand over the deed.

Flabbergasted

I watch him wheel and deal

and wonder how it is

that no one can see

the venomous viper

writhing beneath his skin.

Picture via: http://www.thesolutiontoaging.com/