Untitled Poem Daily Word #14

I am not even sure what to say.
I do not want to feel this way.
Believe me I am not trying to lay more on your plate
I honestly just need you to understand.
Love
trust
I believed in you
I wanted you
want you
when you told me you loved me
I wonder
did you mean true?
I cannot let the images go
tears
a constant pressure behind my eyes
all I want
is to be back in your arms.
Oh my god
I cannot stop
I cry every night
because I miss you so
whether or not you miss me
I still do not know.
At first I thought it was an obsession
but it is not
for images of you strike me
memories of us
lay me bare
I am sorry
I love you so
forgive me please
I am trying to let you go.
I do not want to.
I know I have to.
This intricate dance we do
one step forward
three back
is a seduction of the mind
of the senses.
Do you know
how little it would take
on your behalf
to make me stay?
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you……
I will miss you until the end.
January 16/19

Untitled Relationship Poem #3

A blackness welling
pain
erupting
staggering
brings me to my knees.
I gaze back
through filmy gauze
tears forever falling
anguish forever welling
it hurts so much
memories stirred.
One drop
one memory
torrential downpour
flashes
better times
my heart
breaking in two.
How do I explain
the wretchedness enveloping me
when I wear a smile
never letting my pain near?
The core of my being
hollowed out
whittled away
empty
stolen love
gone
like yesterday.
I weep…..
I weep tears
night after night
soaking pillows
cry myself to sleep.
In my dreams
I find you 
still loving me
holding me
needing me.
Day’s break
pain settles over
bitter sweater
stitched with my tears
how do I learn
to let you go?
 
December 29/18