Figment

I lay within my lover’s arms
attending the steady heart beat
held tight against the midnight storm
of nightmares 
and drooling beasts.
A gentle hand does caress
pulling sheets close
a summer breeze
dancing over bare skin
as he tilts my head to kiss.
I see the love that shimmers there
I feel it in how he speaks
the low rumble of his voice 
within my chest
making me complete.
With eastern sky beginning to pink
I struggle to stay awake
but sleep does pull 
and eyes do close 
assured that I am safe. 
I stretch my limbs 
contented sigh
hand reaching out to feel…..
cold space is all I find
as you are nothing…..
A figment
a dream slipping
a fantasy 
a man unfound
except 
within the imaginings  of my mind.
 
January 31/19

Pauper’s Wounds

Blooded steps
sparkling
shredding
spearing
glass shards
embedded in my soles
disabling me
as I attempt to walk through.
Brambles clutch
piercing
gouging
stabbing
beneath my skin
more blood flows
I give in.
My fault really.
I took those words to heart
played princess to the pauper
never listened
never heard the
lies embedded.
It was only with the interloper’s arrival
that it began
the decimation
of love shared.
No account
no words spoken
but suddenly
I am the bad guy.
The one who wants too much
who wants to provide happiness
who wants to make life easier.
Forgive me
silly am I
to think that a man wants a partner
who compliments
not competes with him.
What do I do?
Shrug my shoulders?
Turn around and walk away?
Pathetic thing is
I love so much
I am willing to wait.
Wait….
no that is my imagination
for love is not suppose to hurt
this way.
There will come a day
beware of that
when I will finally have enough
will walk away.
No looking back
regrets burned
think carefully.
Is a bitch
ready to spread her legs
lacking so in respect
really the desired want?
I suppose
nay
I know
that if I were respected
if I was truly loved
no enticement
would
could
drive to baser needs.
What a fucking brutal truth.
Fires burn
rage
bridges erupting
soon as foot is placed
for I am protecting myself.
No longer
never again
will I give anyone
power over me.
November 24/18
Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash
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