Charmed Monsters

Longing

yearning

ever so tired

grey is the day

this life

this path I trod.

Where is the light?

Where is the joy?

No Eden can I find.

The past…..

Free wheeling

dealing card after card

pain

humility

hungering

feeding upon the blackness

the evil

rooted within.

My past…..

No longer allowed to define

to dictate…..

Cut away

carve away

sword

epee

skewered to the ground

demons chained

eased with dosed medication

mine to do with as I will.

These daemons

still reside within

gentle murmurs

holding pain

holding fear

now my protectors

I need no longer beware.

Sanctuary found

hellions bound

labor of love.

This me

beauty and beast

all rolled into one.

©Dec. 30/19

Picture is part of my Positivity wall

Conscious Forever More

I stand

hands on hips

staring at my nakedness

seeing the droop of my breast

the extra inch on my hips

how my thighs are now touching

lips pursed

for I still see them as flaws

I still seek external confirmation

of my inner self.

I am beautiful.

Whether bundled in winter clothes

or clad in bikini on the beach.

No one can take that from me.

I am strong.

I have beaten addiction.

I have beaten my self doubt.

I have beaten

destroyed that voice

my own voice

telling me I am worthless.

I am sexy.

For so long

so very very long

I felt that my sexuality

my desires

they were wrong.

I kept them hidden

in a secret part of me.

No longer.

I labored for so long

deluded by past

devalued by self

awaiting external acceptance

that I do not need

for I am me

and me am I.

Tongue twisted

words never more betrayed

truth has been found

depth of my soul

cage freed my heart

it is my time

it is my turn

to rise & shine.

©Nov. 25/19

Picture is one of my own