Giggles of the Week

A few things that made me laugh:
We have a flat of 30 med eggs on for $4.99. A pack of 18 large eggs is $4.62. Needless to say I was running back and forth a lot returning the 18’s and grabbing the ’30’s. I come back from grabbing a flat for a dad and daughter and hand them off. As I did I was asking the dad ‘to please flip the eggs over’ while I was gesturing to his Air Miles card. His daughter looks at me funny and slowly turns the eggs over. Her dad was laughing and I explained I had flipped the eggs with air miles because I had just finished getting the eggs for them. She starts to giggle and looks at her dad ‘well I thought she might know something about eggs we don’t. Maybe you should be turning your eggs upside down.’
With another customer segued from a conversation about candy from Nutty Club (Canadian Company makes candy and other things) into how I almost overdosed as a child due to thinking that sleeping pills were candy corn. This was the ’70’s fun and funky colors for all. As we were talking and my customer was rolling with laughter I came to the conclusion that I was and am still incredibly klutzy. I use myself as comedic fodder. Not sure if the stories are really as funny as I think they are or if it is the way the I tell it.
Tember announced today that he will never be able to come into Sobeys if I did not stop telling stories about him. Said how would anyone know who he was? I only tell my customers. It is not as though I am pulling out my phone and showing pictures of him. I am not describing him. Other than generically. 11 years old. Male. Blonde. Funny. Loves to talk. And will not shower. Yes that is right I am still living the struggle of a child who believes showering is an option not a requirement. And I nag way too much about this lack according to him.
Came home from work yesterday to dishes not being done. Chores in general not being done. And I called Tember out. He responds with ‘But mom I showered without you even having to nag at me!’ I look at him and ask ‘So which did you catch a whiff of? Feet or your pits?’ ‘My pits mom.’
Today has got to be the best yet:
‘Mom I do not know how you do it!’
‘How I do what?’
‘How do you get the dishes to not smell?’
He leaves glasses in his room and things congeal……this is why he is now in charge of doing the dishes on his week here.
Hope that I have given you a small smile at least.
Have a fabulous Wednesday Evening/Thursday Morning depending on where you are at.
©July 8/20

Which Came First

Dads get all the laughs and groans. Really is just not fair. Therefore I have started a new category: Bad Mom Humor.  I would love any and all submissions. Comment your joke in the comment section or via contact. I know y’all got them jokes you wish you could share with an appreciative audience. Well here I am……I do not care how bad if we can make one another laugh let’s do it.

I have two for some may have missed my 1st foray into Bad Mom Humor:

Bad Mom Humor

And today’s joke:

Today is Canada Day.
July 1st.
We became a country in 1867.
Saturday is Independence Day.
July 4th.
The U.S. signed the Declaration.
91 year difference.
Conversation with gf in Florida:
Me: Holiday here today
DFl: Nice. Saturday is ours.
Me: I know…..but we came first (July 1)
bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
©July 1/20
Picture via Pinterest
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