Which Came First

Dads get all the laughs and groans. Really is just not fair. Therefore I have started a new category: Bad Mom Humor.  I would love any and all submissions. Comment your joke in the comment section or via contact. I know y’all got them jokes you wish you could share with an appreciative audience. Well here I am……I do not care how bad if we can make one another laugh let’s do it.

I have two for some may have missed my 1st foray into Bad Mom Humor:

Bad Mom Humor

And today’s joke:

Today is Canada Day.
July 1st.
We became a country in 1867.
Saturday is Independence Day.
July 4th.
The U.S. signed the Declaration.
91 year difference.
Conversation with gf in Florida:
Me: Holiday here today
DFl: Nice. Saturday is ours.
Me: I know…..but we came first (July 1)
bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
©July 1/20
Picture via Pinterest

Stuffies……

These are my stuffies. They have been gifted to me by Tember. Gus is the green alien. Apparently he squeaks I love you when squeezed the right way. I use him to throw at the cats when they are being annoying and scratching closet door because……..it is the middle of the night and why would mom want to sleep?

The moose is name Sam. I purchased him for Tember and he was regifted to me. All good. He is great cuddler.

As for big bear I have yet to rename him but he is mine now. Tember used him to try and scare me. It worked. And I got another snuggle buddy.

Last week was my full week with Tember. As always our week was filled with a lot of silliness and laughter. I came home from work on Friday……he has been cleaning the closet and decided that he was going to try to scare me……so he moved big bear into my room and put a book in his lap. I come home all innocent like and walk into my bedroom to scream because well big bear on the bed reading a book……he was not there when I left for work.

Tember thought this was hilarious.

However revenge would be mine.

Mondays I am now working 2-10:30 so regardless of my week or his dad’s Tember goes to his dad’s place.

I get home just after 10 on Monday and Tember is laying in wait for me.

‘Mom……my plan to scare you backfired on me.’

‘Why?’

‘Well when I came down the stairs to go into my room and I saw big bear I screamed and jumped.’

I laughed. Long and hard. Ha ha revenge is mine.

What I am not going to tell him….Big Bear (the name is growing on me) scares the hell out of me every day.

One might move him out of the way but nah……at least I know he will kick start my heart even as a heart attack happens.

May 6/20

Picture is my own (stating the obvious is a fault)