Today’s episode of ‘Let’s see if Jay can keep her cool…..’ is brought to you by…..me!
It has been awhile (okay a long time) since I have given an update as to what is going on with me and T.
The end of the year was difficult for T and I. We had a lot of rough mornings, yelling and screaming and that was just me. He ranted and cried and refused to leave the house. We have to find a balance for next year as I am just so unprepared to deal with this. As well, he is going to soon out weigh me so it will be harder to push him out the door. 🙂 The last time we battled, I ended up grabbing him by the back of the neck and frog marching him into the bathroom. Than dragged him out by his arm. All while he screamed ‘stop hurting me, you’re hurting me.’ This lead to a serious discussion on the way to school let me tell you.
Now for braggy mom to come out. T sailed onto Grade 5. With flying colors. My son is a mostly A student with a couple of B’s thrown in there. The subjects that were the lower grades, well not the ones that he found to be all that enjoyable. What I need to enforce this summer is reading so that he will be going into Grade 5 on par with his peers.
Me time, me time! I have been doing awesome. I am happy. I am confident. Yes, no doubt there are days when I have a little let down but they never last long. I am setting goals for myself and although I have yet to begin working on a single one, I have them. Work is going so amazing.
Stepping down absolutely was the best thing that I could have done. I am not the same person at all. The person who worried. Who controlled. Who followed all the rules. She is gone. I am responsible for T and myself. No one else. Nothing else. I am way more relaxed. I am making changes, ones that are good for me. Exercising. Eating well. I am not sure how it could get any better. Well I can but that is a long conversation for another time.
Now let us fast forward to today’s episode on ‘Can Jay keep her cool?’
First Act: Regular customer is getting ready to pay for his groceries. Pays the same way all the time. I told him the total and hit debit and told him to go ahead and insert. He looked at me sheepishly and said: I’m sorry, I stuck it in too early.’ I bit my tongue so hard to keep from laughing out loud.
Second Act: A lady stops in front of the counter. I ask her how I can help her. This is the following conversation.
‘How can I help you today?’
‘I want a ticket.’
‘What type of ticket are you wanting?’
‘A scratch ticket.’
‘What type of scratch ticket?’
‘I guess they are all scratch tickets aren’t they?’
I could only stand and stare at her.
‘I think I will take a crossword because I like words.’
Third Act: Phone is ringing and I answer it. I do my spiel ‘Thank you for calling blah blah blah blah. How may I help you?’
‘I need a price check.’
‘Okay, on what?’
***To save on space and too boring I will give a synopsis.***
The customer had been in our store and made a purchase for her neighbor of cream. Now when she got home, there was no cream. But she paid for it. And the cashier had given her back change. $15-16. I check with the cashier and no, cream was not left behind. Ask customer if she has her receipt and am told no.
‘M’aam, maybe you were not even charged for it.’
‘But I was. I gave her a $20 and she gave me back change. I just need to know the price so I can charge my neighbor.’
‘But you don’t have the cream?’ (Yes I realize none of my business.)
‘But I paid for it and now she needs to pay me back,’
I go and check for her and come back to phone.
‘Good so $4.00 I will charge her.’
She than hung up. Did not even ask me how we were going to fix this. Was so intent on getting her price that the fact she did not have the product seemed to have flown out the window. I would have loved to be a fly on that wall.
‘Yes Doris? You owe me $4.00.’
‘Where’s my cream?’
‘Well it never made it home with me. You still owe me $4.00 though for the cream.’
And so on and so forth. Shaking my head.
Act Four: Answering the phone, giving my spiel and realizing that a) there was no one there and b) the phone had not even rung. Thank goodness I have a great sense of humor with myself and laughed hard.
These are the type of days I have. They make great fodder for the imagination. Today’s though, they were too special to keep to myself. I love talking to people, and while there are those who would prefer to remain silent, the majority like to talk. Which leads me to this gem.
I was checking through a little old lady. She was about 90/92 I believe, she did tell me so that is how I know that it was in the 90’s. We were chatting away and I was explaining to her that sometimes I talk so much (shocker there) that I am not aware of what I am doing.
Case in point: I was chatting away with my customer and trying to scan a product. I kept moving it back and forth and finally looked down to see why I was not getting a beep. Well, it only works when you scan it with the laser, not over the deactivator. The customer and I roared.
By the time I was done, my little old lady was laughing so hard. I handed her back her change and wished her a good day.
She said to me: ‘You are good for my heart and soul. Thank you for making me laugh today.’
And that folks is how I am leaving it. I am good for the heart and soul.
So this morning, not a good morning for T and me. There was a bit of attitude. There was a bit of a smart mouth. There was a bit of threatening to take away the fishing trip next Thursday and Friday. After all it is my week, I can put my foot down.
Not sure why T thought he could act as he did this morning and there not be any repercussions. I am so tired of it. Tired of cajoling. Tired of threatening. Tired of having to be the mean parent. And that is what I am, the mean parent who puts her foot down so he can become a reasonable adult.
I finally had had enough of it. I was so annoyed with him that I pulled out a line that my own mom used ‘I love you but right now I really do not like you at all.’ He stared at me and said that if I loved him I had to like him too. I assured him that I did not. That I was so sick and tired of listening to him backtalk and be sassy. I deserve to be respected.
When he left for school he gave me a hug and kiss. Told me that he loved me. I locked the door behind him only to have him knock on it a few seconds later. It was cold out and he wanted his sweater. I took the time to adjust his backpack straps and again sent him on his way.
I felt horrible after he left. I do not want to be a bitch all the time. I do not want to always be telling him that he has a smart mouth. That he needs to respect me. I wish and as mom also use to say ‘if wishes were horses beggers would ride’ that it would be easy. But it is never easy raising a child alone. No matter the fact that I have the Ex who is suppose to be helping but he chooses to be a friend more so than a parent. I see that and I know that.
This whole post is suppose to be about laughter. Yet it is more of a dark depressing post.
T and me for the most part, do have a good time together. We laugh a lot. He tells me the corniest jokes ever. And I snort at them while trying not to. He gets my silly sense of humor because his is much like my own. I read him Little Fears when it makes me snort giggle or go pshaw and he chortles along with me.
The picture I chose is from yesterday. He is doing a Fortnite dance for me. Wearing his shorts that had only moments before been pulled up to his armpits. Due to his growth I bought him men’s small on the weekend. And I was giggling away while also trying to maintain a straight face because he was suppose to be getting ready for school. That is what our mornings are suppose to be like. Him telling me stupid jokes and us laughing together.
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
Banananana Banananana (Every time that he tells me that one I groan and laugh at the same time.)
Although this is technically the Ex’s weekend with T, we are doing a double sleepover (Fri-Sun) with his best friend.
His best friend is leaving next month for a trip to Maui with his mom. The boys are already planning how they will Skype with one another. This means that there is going to be nearly 4 weeks before they see one another again. Also as M is working tonight and tomorrow night it makes life easy for her. She does not need to worry about child care.
This morning we drove an hour one way to pick K-T (T’s best friend only way I can designate) up. We left the house at 8 a.m. Yes you are reading that right. For those of you who are not Canadian, it is a stat holiday. Everything is closed. Everything. Except small convenience stores, gas stations, etc. If T had had his way, we would have left at 7 but the gas bar did not open until 8.
To start T was playing his game on his phone. He was sort of talking to me but not much. Than he put his phone down and we talked. I told him about all the things that had been wrong with me when I was born/a toddler. Had to explain what a lazy eye and pigeon toed meant. Also how they had been corrected. Than he asked if he had had anything wrong with him at birth. So we discussed that.
The drive flew by as we talked the whole way there (barring the 10 minutes or so he was playing his game). I asked him if when things returned to normal were we still going to talk like this? And he assured me that we would. I tried to impress upon him how happy this made me and it was really important to me. He is 9 3/4 now (as he likes to tell me) so really he was more focused on getting to K-T and all the fun things they would do. We were only a few minutes from K-T’s so I understand the excitement.
K-T had been packing since 7:15 a.m. These boys are nuts. You would think that rather than seeing one another every other weekend that they had not seen one another in months. I mean the minute we entered the house they were yammering at one another. It is K-T’s birthday today and he is 10 so we also got to bring home the half bit of cake left over.
M suddenly heard that T had size 7 feet and looked at me. K-T has size 2/3 feet. I explained that T was 4’10 1/2″ and 105 lbs. M looked at me and asked how it was possible that there was a 30 lb difference between the boys. I told them to stand side by side. There is almost a foot difference in their height. K-T was disappointed until I reminded him that he came from short stock.
M found this to be an insult and informed me in haughty tones that she was average height for a woman. It was I who was the abnormally tall one.
On our drive home I learned that they were both planning to be WWE wrestlers. K-T wants to also be a NHL goalie and in the Army. As soon as he is old enough off he goes. T wants to also be a WWE wrestler as well as a singer and writer. He will only join the Army if he can leave whenever he wants. I explained not possible so I think the military career is a no go. There is never a dull moment with these boys.
Once home I was banished. That is right, I spent the better part of the late morning and afternoon in my bedroom. My door is open so I can see them and what they are up to. The Ex picked them up at 3:15 and returned them at 4:30 with bags of chocolate. For a brief moment I was able to chill in the living room. Once they returned I was asked to return to my room.
They have the best imaginations. So far, they have been wrestlers, each fighting their stuffies. The giant bear in the background on the couch is T’s opponent. You can’t see K-T’s gorilla. During these wrestling matches they have also been Tag Team Champions. As I sat here I watched as they pretend high fived their fans and held up their championship belt for all to see. (I tried to video but they moved out of view)
They have broken free from jail. What they were in for I do not know.
They have become detectives. T is looking for a yellow folder which had cartoons that he had created and brought home from school. He insisted that it was under the junk drawer. They searched high and low. I know I saw it but not sure where it went. I really think that I may have thrown it out during a clean up but there is no way that I am ‘fessing up to that one. They looked for clues.
Than they decided they were going to be writers. Hot on the trail of stories to tell the world. Both have made pretend lap tops to work on. They have opened their very own writing academy. I am eagerly awaiting the stories they will produce.
As of now, they are trying to decide what they should now do. T is tossing his bear around. First hey decided on Mini Mono Wrestlemania. They crouch down and pretend to wrestle. Than they moved onto Truth or Dare. I am watching this from the safety of my room.
Eventually they will get hungry. Not sure why I cannot allow them to fend for themselves. Apparently though, M and the law assure me that I must feed them. Maybe just as I allowed them to eat cake for breakfast I will let them gorge on root beer and chocolate for supper.