What’s In a Face?

Last evening T and I were talking and I asked him what time his dad was picking him up on Saturday.
T told me that he wasn’t going to pick him up that grandma and poppa were stopping to get him.
I kind of kerchuffed under my breath.
T: What?
Me: What what?
T: Why are you annoyed?
Me: I am not annoyed. (And I was not despite his assertion that I was. I was amused that once more the Ex found a way to get out of having to see me since the dreaded I have something to tell you text)
T: Yes you are you are making that face.
Me: I am not making a face and I kerchuffed!
T: Mom that was the noise you make when dad does something you don’t like.
Me: I do not have a face. Or a noise!
T: Yes you do. First you make that noise. Second you tuck your head down and your double chin shows. Then you cut your eyes to the left. And lastly you sigh very loudly.
Me (gasping for air and blinded by tears): You are lying! I do not do that.
T: Mom you do.
He then proceeded to stand in front of me and show me what I apparently looked like.
I cried from laughing so hard.
I also was not believing him that I did this.
Fast forward to this morning and am texting with people.
I mention what T had said to me last night and received two responses.
M: Well I know when something is trying your patience.
Me: How?
M: Mouth closed. Long deep inhale through the nose.
Me: My annoyance level at work is gauged in two ways: Annoyed is pinching the bridge of my nose. Rubbing my face and I have moved directly into the WTF phase. (Now I have expanded because my dear readers do not have the short speak understanding M and I do.)
: Yes there is that look too. And then there is another one with the chin lift as opposed to the chin tuck. The chin tuck is specific to the Ex.
I thought that maybe I should learn to school my face a little bit.
My reasoning is that people seeing the f*** you look may be frowned upon.
I was told it was more like WTH.
Maybe what I really need to do is find me some ‘remove your double chin in 30 days’ exercises.
If I am going  to be that transparently annoyed at the very least I don’t want to look like a mushroom cap exploding from my neck.
©May 13/22
Picture via Pinterest

Sounds Like…..

I am obviously feeling better this morning.

I was sitting on the floor in the living room nagging at T to get ready for school. We had been discussing whether or not I have ever rolled my eyes at him and I insisted that I never had. That he would know if I rolled my eyes at him…..he would feel it. This elicited an eye roll from his nibs at my protestations of innocence.

He wandered off into the bathroom and I heard him in the dryer. Backstory yesterday morning at 8 a.m. he asks me why his clothes are not in the dryer. I tell him because he never told me about them. T was insistent that he had the night before. Just as I insisted that I never heard him. Stalemate as we throw his clothes in the dryer for half hour.

Me: What are you doing?

T: Getting my pants.

Me: Didn’t you wear pants yesterday?

Yes that came out of my mouth. The minute, nay the second I heard it, I began to hiccup. The hiccup turned into a giggle. The giggle became laughter.

T: What did you say?

Me: I am not repeating it! It was so dumb.

T (opening bathroom door): Tell me.

Me (crying): I asked ‘did you not wear pants yesterday’.

T: Yes mom I did.

He goes into his room and I hear:

T:…….. assssssssssssssss!

Me: What did you say?

T: Thomasssssssssss. I was talking to him.

Me (screech laughing): I thought you called me a dumbass!

Laughter is a great way to start the day.

April 29/22

Picture via Pinterest

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