I Forgot the Tubes

I was tired yesterday evening.
Messaged T to let him know that the door was open and I was already in bed.
I was expecting him within ten minutes or so.
I laid down.
Closed my eyes.
And sleep eluded me.
I tossed.
I turned.
I heard the door and was wide awake.
T was home and it had been health class day.
 
Like a child waiting for everyone to wake up on Christmas Day so we can unwrap our gifts I had to sit until he was done getting his bag off and greet the cats.
 
Me (eagerly): How was health class today.
T (disgusted): Boring.
Me: Boring? Wasn’t sex ed today? What did you learn?
T: About the reproduction system.
Me: Like the penis and vagina and the parts. Oh I never went into detail about those.
T: And the fallopian tubes. (Making a drawing in the air for me)
Me: Oh well that wasn’t fun.
T: It is the same stuff that they taught you mom.
Me: I don’t think we learned about that until biology in school. I don’t know mom was  nurse I was advanced. 😂😂
 
He continued to putter around informing me that he had to shower in the morning.
How I had not done the laundry in the washing machine.
I suggested he could do the laundry after he showered.
He said he would think about it.
The laundry is drying and he is still asleep.
Mom wins again.
 
At the end of the class the kids were told they could draw pictures.
So long as they did not draw penis pictures.
Apparently for girls and boys alike this was most unfair and so they are having a penis drawing competition today.
I asked who was participating.
He says everyone.
I warned him that he could be the only one and I had best not get a call about it.
Then I struck.
 
Me: How are you going to draw it?
T: What?
Me: The penis?
T: Mom it is not art.
Me: Circumcised? Uncircumcised? There are differences you know.
 
Although T gets embarrassed when I am frank like this with him he also knows that he would be hard pressed to find a set of parents who are as open about sex and the body as I am.
I am willing to talk to him about anything at all.
Which is why my crop up.
Porn.
***This actually was not my idea. I had read an article where a single mom had had to have that conversation with her son. And I thought that it was an awesome idea.***
 
Me: So does this mean I should start researching porn sites? There will be questions.
T: Mom when and if I want to know I will ask you. Until then it is ok.
 
I gotta say.
He took that one in stride.
Although he did tell me to stop talking and disappeared into the bathroom.
 
©June 2/21
Pic my own

You Monster!

Yesterday I received a few comments on my invention The ChoreTube.
How it was a good idea.
How someone else would totally sign their mom up for this to use on siblings.
I laughed.
 
After reading the one about the siblings I went into T’s room.
He was busy on-line gaming with his buddy.
I was laughing already and he looked over at me quickly covering his mic.
 
Me (chortling): I am giving you total credit for the idea.
T: What idea?
Me: You know the ChoreTube idea.
T (horrified): What have you done?
Me: Well I floated the idea in my blog and it seems to be a good idea.
T (making sure mic is covered): Mom you monster! What are you doing?
Me: You don’t want the credit?
T (horrified): You are a monster…..get out.
 
I was once more laughing so hard that I had tears.
I guess now I am committed to coming up with a plan that will further horrify T.
I know one day that he is going to get me back.
But until then I am going to have as much fun with this as I can.
 
©May 29/21
Picture via Pinterest