I will kill you!

Left work today and discovered that Tember had text me.
Wanted me to pick him up as it was a little chilly.
Definitely too cold for me to be walking to meet him.
According to him.
Granted I had been going to text him and ask if he wanted me to pick him up.
But I decided no I was going to go and grab a sweater to put on before heading off to meet him.
I messaged and told him I was on the way.
It was kind of nice no other parents picking up their children.
When I spot my child.
In shorts.
Without his jacket on.
When I left for work he was wearing sweats.
Oh yes I forgot to mention that Tember decided that he would walk to school today as he did not want to go to his dad’s before school.
As an experiment I would say it was a success.
For winter he is going to wear long johns and toque with mittens/gloves to walk.
When the temp gets down to -20 we will see.
Once home I made coffee and relaxed.
Decided Tember was going to do the dishes.
And the drama that ensued……..
You would have thought I was asking him to jump into a dumpster full of rotting fish heads.
Mom you know I cannot do the dishes. 
I don’t know how to make them clean.
They are always dirty you know that.
I can’t do this mom.
Of course you can do it.
How do you think that I learned to wash dishes?
Mom I am going to kill you.
What if there is a piece of mold and I miss it?
I always leave them dirty.
You are going to get sick.
Tember I am not stupid. 
Do you really think that I would put food on dirty plates?
I can see if it still has food on it.
But what if I don’t get all the germs off?
I am going to make you sick.
He is getting riled up.
I am sitting on the couch and not budging.
He is going to do the dishes.
Stomping around the kitchen.
He pulls lid from the cat food and tosses it.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
Now I am full on done.
Tember you had better check that attitude right now.
You know that you are to use soap and water to wash the dishes.
I expect you to do them properly.
There was no more muttering.
There was no slamming of dishes.
He went off to his room.
Eventually I got up to make supper.
I put the dishes away.
Of all of them only one had to be rewashed.
The cat’s milk bowl.
Even I miss that.
Point in case I had to rewash the second one that I did as I missed some dried on milk.
After I was done I stuck my head into Tember’s room.
Hey buddy I wanted to say thank you.
You did a great job on the dishes.
Nice work.
Thank you mom.
Now I did think briefly of dropping to the floor and convulsing as though I had been poisoned.
But I figured Tember would not find it as funny as I did.
I am giggling thinking about it right now.
Have a terrific Thursday evening/Friday Morning loves.
Tember and I took new pics. As you can see we had a bit of fun.
©Oct. 1/20
Picture is my own
©Oct. 1/20
Picture is my own

I’m Sorry Part Deux

For those of you who saw the poem ‘I’m Sorry‘ you know that there was an incident between Tember and I this weekend.
He lashed out at me. Made fun of my teeth. Not going to lie it hurt. Called them Bunny Teeth. When I asked why he was being like this he told me I did it all the time. Which as you know took me aback. What? He felt as though I was making fun of him in a mean way? When I asked him to explain/tell me a time that I had done this (cite your sources) I got the ‘I love you. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’
It hurt like a son of a bitch.
I cried.
I wracked my brain trying to figure out when I could have been so hurtful. When had I said something to make him feel like this?
I spoke with a friend of mine who reassured me that Tember would eventually realize what he had done. That he would apologize.
Here is the kicker folks. This happened on Friday after I had purchased the CPU for him. This was after I told him that I had a surprise for him. And than wham! Shot out of the dark.
Now I know what happened. And the poem I wrote lays it out.
My weekend.
The Ex asked to have Tember so they could build a fort together.
Spend time together.
Tember was so excited he left his Xbox at home.
His Xbox people-his Xbox!!!!!
Friday started off good.
He goes to his dad’s and things seem ok.
The glue gun broke so dad had quit making the fort.
This is what he told me.
Told him to go hang out with dad.
Was told that dad was hanging with the girlfriend.
My heart is breaking because I know what this weekend meant.
Get a link that takes me to a picture of myself with the caption ‘look at those bunny teeth.’
Regardless of the pursuant conversation I wanted to lash out and tell him that I had purchased a new hard drive for him. That he would not be getting it. But I took a deep breath. I purchased it as a gift for Tember. Telling him and taking it away was cruel. What was to be gained? So I bit back my comment and as per above asked when I had done something like this to him. He ducked and ran.
Saturday tell him I have a surprise.
Also asked him if he was still pissed with me. Yes I said pissed. Please this child has heard so much worse come out of my mouth I am not going to be a hypocrite. He said he never was mad with me and he was sorry.
I told him he hurt me.
I admit I was still really hurt. This is not how I taught Tember to behave.
Here’s the kicker…..
 he was mad at his dad but could not take it out on him so easier to provoke a fight with mom.
Because no matter what she will always be there.
 And once that dawned on me (ashamed to admit that it took me awhile to put 2+2 together) I got it.
Sunday Tember told me he loved me and was again sorry for what had happened Friday evening.
Monday he comes home.
Finds the CPU which by the way in my infantile outbreak decided not to set up for him…….probably best thing anyways as he was able to set it all up the way he wanted to today. He flies into my room and thanks me.
Again tells me he is sorry and did not mean it about my teeth.
I had braces when I was a kid but my front teeth have since moved back to their normal position. To the point where I am embarrassed of my smile. I know that I am buck toothed. I am told over and over that I have a beautiful smile yet as soon as Tember made that comment to me all self-confidence was gone.
I am still not really over it.
I am known to harp and harp and harp on the same subject. I know this. So tonight I needed to say one thing and that would be it.
I told Tember I needed to get this out. Once it was I would never bring it up again. He agreed.
His behaviour was that of a bully. He found something that he knew would hurt me and used it intentionally. This is not how I have taught him. He hurt me.
Forgiveness is an incredible thing.
I figure some are going to say that as the adult I should blow it off. I am not built that way. And he pinpointed the one main thing about me that causes me to be self-conscious.
I needed for him to realize how powerful words are. Which is why I may have gone for a couple of days making him think about how he made me feel. I am hopeful that he is going to remember this. I am hopeful that I am going to remember this.
Out of this experience we learned:
I can think before I speak.
I still am a wee bit childish making my own child suffer for hurting me. (Oh I know there are people reaching for their phones but so what……he learns)
Tember realized why it hurt me.
He took my words about being a bully and hopefully has taken them to heart.
I am his safety net. The one constant in his life that never changes. I might drink a little much. I might swear a lot. I am a proponent of 4/20 lol and enjoy it.
Not a day goes by that I do not tell Tember and show him that I love him.
Not a day goes by that we do not laugh.
Not a day goes by that even subtly a lesson is learned. And not all lessons are learned by Tember. I have learned my fair share as well.
I am not a conventional mom.
I share a little too much.
Am such an embarrassment because I am a little too open about sex with him.
I am his cheerleader.
I believe that he can do absolutely anything he wants to do.
I adore him and tell him this on a daily basis.
He is my so(u)n (yeah silly I know)…..
my moon…..
my stars……
he is my everything.
©May 19/20
Picture is of us
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