Ruined I say!

***This post was written a few weeks ago but today I was able to finish.***
So….I have decided because he is so funny and a wealth of posts that I will create a new category…..I ruined his Life. T and me have been fighting a lot. And in every instance I ruined his life. These are the stories…..
Let us begin with Monday. 6:41 a.m. my phone rings. It is the school division letting me know that school was cancelled. Had they been any later and I would not have somewhere for T to go. Messaged ex and he stopped to pick T up. Brought him home in eveninng too. I worked 9:30-6. My day was easy. The Ex drops T off at 9:30ish. In the evening.
 So Tuesday morning. All is good until the end……T suddenly cannot find his hat. This hat that means life or death…..if he does not have this hat he is going to die. This is his favorite hat. Okay it is fricken freezing out. There is snow in my car. He is acting like a shit. Do not gasp in disgust…..every single parent out there has had the asshole moment. And you know what, we are going to face the asshole a whole shit load before they turn 18. This applies to daughters as well.
He left the hat on my couch. Nope. I cleaned on Sunday. There was no hat on my couch. 
Now it is 8:50. T has to be at school in 10 minutes. He is refusing to leave because he cannot find his hat. This hat is his favorite. And where is it? What did I do with it? 
So now, I am livid. He is pulling this shit…..the I am going to move slower than a sloth shit……I am boiling. Screaming. 
He finds a hat. Not his favorite but 2nd favorite.
 Wednesday a.m. I run to store to get sugar get home and he is still in bed. See Wednesday is shower day. That was awesome. Screaming. Water every where and how can I be so mean??????
 I get him clean. I thought all was good. All was not good. Omfg where did the hat go? He threw it at the PC last night. It should be on the floor. OMFG I lost it. Like lost it. Stuffed animals flew and T was screaming that I had ‘hurt’ him. The google eyes on his stuffies hurt him. I was seriously pissed.  There was much screaming. Oh holy hell…..I threw it here……you moved it and if not you the cats!! What????? The cats moved your damn hat. So once more there is screaming and yelling and I don’t know who is the loudest….me or him.
More fights. More mom is killing me. Omg she hurt me.I do not deserve this. 
Thursday….Mom……Yes T…..I found my hat…..Really where?…Over here where you looked. I did not look there. You said you threw it over here. You blamed me and my ninja like moves. You accused the cats of moving your hat.  We were totally out to get you.
Sooooooooo…..you tossed your hat….and I am at fault…..oh hell no…..I am calling you out.
Evil mom rides again. Me and the cats…..we deserve an apology. 
 I did not get a sorry. The cats did  not get an apology. However he calmed his shit down.
 Until today (Feb 17/19) Mom did some bad juju. But that is a story for tomorrow.
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Broken Reality

Broken
battered
left on the side of the road
left to die 
without anyone to hold.
Grim reality
scattered dreams
heroin needle
still stuck in the vein.
Star struck
beautiful girl
ventures to the land of sin 
deceived
degraded 
by the one who made her whole.
Within her soul
a blackness grew
as night after night
aspirations drowned
vile glass 
after vile glass 
men worked to take her down.
Her life 
her desires
when they touch her
vacant eyes staring 
above heaving shoulders.
Visions of escape
ideas
flew from her mind
only the call of the needle
could sate growing hunger
eating her from the inside.
Broken
battered
left to die
slowly tears gather in her eyes.
Visions of parents
a home left behind
fade to black
as the grim reaper
reaps her soul.
January 28/19

Untitled Poem #9

Heavy
head lolls down
tears
none left
eyes so dry.
Pain
roiling through
screaming void
black engulfing
soul shriveling
I want to make it stop.
My being
fire singed
trust broken
never to……
sweet succor
slip beneath the dark waves
in the monochrome
world I abide.
Blood red
sizzling from my veins
twining
around my frame.
Finally
silence in my ears
no more voices
no more pain
no more anything.
November 25/18
Photo by Tiko Giorgadze on Unsplash

Brazen Beauty

A million dresses
thousands of shoes
lost in a revelry of pride
floating along
paid by the hour
ever man her sign.
A beauty of yesteryear
lost in the illusion
grand
elegant
graceful
dancing with each who asks
pleasure alive on her face.
As a child she had been taunted
belittled
scorned
for the way that she looked.
Kids can be cruel
words can cut so deep
scars left
that no one can see
but are still felt.
brazen beauty
gliding amongst the throng
her place firmly set
by the generous curves
of her body
the sharp intelligence of her mind
and crooked wit to sting them all.
Oct. 7/18
Photo by Hernan Sanchez on Unsplash

Silver Tears

Everyone thought that they knew her.
Her story
her beginnings
her middle
but none dreamed of her end.
A beauty
like Helen of Troy
men at her feet
showering her in adoration
jewels
money
yet never love.
Slate grey sky
matching stormy eyes
if only they knew
if only they had paid attention
if only she had told them.
Wretched blackness
clings to her soul
reminding her of the past
the abuse
the agony
but on her lips
an enigmatic smile plays
dazzling her lovers.
Under moonlit sky
she wept
silver tears of pain.
Oct. 5/18
Photo by Blake Cheek on Unsplash

Watcher

Silent
stalking shadows
enveloped in blackness
moving through the streets.
Watching
peering
unconcerned with being seen
watcher of the night.
Dancing with the devil
a tune only I can play
mesmerized
candle flame upon the blade.
Leaning over
watching him sleep
breath
knowing
one slice
blood spurting
torment
pain
rage
all gone.
I have his life
held within my hands
making the choice
decision
should I let him live?
Or make him go?
Sept. 26/18
Picture via: https://www.deviantart.com/bassqee/art/Return-of-the-bloody-girl-30-168751140