In The End

I begged
waited for you to hear
to acknowledge
the words that I was speaking
only you looked at me
as though I spoke a foreign language.
I screamed
stomping my feet
like a child you said
driving me to rage
you still were not listening
only pretending to engage.
Tears
fierce
hot
burned my face
flowing over cheeks
dripping from chin
you wag a finger at me
disdain
cannot believe I will not shut my mouth.
Ragged breath
gasping
no longer can I care
furrows rent
flesh beneath my nails…..
I despise you.
I hate you.
I loath you.
False claims of love
never ending
liar
liar
pants on fire
I will stab you in the end.
©Jan. 28/23

That’s A New One

Every so often I always check my ‘other’message requests on Facebook. Yes I get notified if it is someone they believe knows me just goes into the request. The spam ones are the ones that I get the best kick out of.

From being asked if I was really a guy??????-Usually by these super hot model types to being told I am beautiful, sexy, fun looking, happy, etc. I laugh them all off. I am not an idiot. However never have I had one like I found on Sunday.

Hi. I don’t know what your attitude is like but I would like you to be my sugar baby. I will pay your rent, your bills, your car insurance and a weekly allowance.

First off dude you look to be in your 30’s. And while a nice looking guy I have a thing against dating guys in the 20-30’s. I am sure that there are many a wonderful man in this age range but my reasoning is twofold:

I have a problem being with someone who I could possibly have given birth too. It is the age difference and I think that given my past and the abuse I went through I know what the underlying factor is there.

The other, if I have to explain a joke, a saying/phrase etc. it takes the shine off of things.

Am I being superficial? I don’t believe so.

Height is thing. I like guys who are taller then me. Like 3″ or more. Recently I have had two lovely dates with short men. But they were short. And while not always a deal breaker (I once had a great ‘relationship’ with a guy who was half an inch taller then me give or take. Or I thought.

We were standing face to face and I realized I actually was taller then him. He did too and shortly thereafter that ‘relationship’ unraveled.

Secondly you know not what you are attempting to invite yourself into. And what do you want in return? I mean I can fathom a guess I have been around the block a time or two lol But that my friend is a crap shoot. I could be a serial killer for all you know. I have a teenager.

I spend time with my ex-husband and his fiancee. And have been invited to spend even more time with them as I am always welcome to hang out. And T would really like it too.

I am menopausal. That equates to hot flashes and night sweats.

I am 50. Set in my ways. I do not want a Sugar Daddy.

Now though, pay my shit and go away, that I could totally handle.

And attitude? I have got so much attitude that it can singe your eyebrows off.

Needless to say I declined his gracious offer.

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