My Loss

It was not until today
that I realized
just how much I miss you.
Your smile
your words
your being
sitting
talking
with me.
You might think
my loss is desire
it is not.
My loss…..
no longer having someone believe in me
no longer having someone who loves me
no longer having someone who will fight for me
no longer having someone who feels like home.
I miss that feeling of happiness.
My bed
though king size
has become so wide
so large
I cannot find the end
the sides.
It has become the size
of three football fields.
The knowing
that someone is thinking of me
not day and night
every so often
I make them smile.
My loss…..
the man who made me smile
the man who made me happy
the man….
who knew my past
who knew my degradation
yet loved me still
despite the grey
the emotional curbs
he found in his way.
I cannot explain
why….
I feel connected.
Why….
I feel a depth.
Why….
I am willing to forgive
despite
all you have done.
You are not the only one
forgiveness should be paid
for too did I
strike out in my way.
I found a way
to rip you bare
using my words
my tongue
to cut you down.
To hate.
To love…..
oh hell
I am on my knees
begging you
please
can we not begin anew?
The ball bounces in your court
the ball it flicks passed me
what more can I do
what more can I say
I still want you.
December 17/18
Picture is one of my own.

Final Sleep

She sits
alone
unloved
beneath the apple tree.
A witch
used to scare small children
teens too
some parents as well
fear what they do not see.
No one ever thought
that she might want to have a friend
that her story might be one 
all should hear.
Year after year
she waits
mournful expression
on her face.
As trucks roll by
she lifts her head
hoping to see…..
the boy she use to love.
Romeo and Juliet
their families did feud
they knew that they were different
they could bridge the divide.
Bride and groom
they never did become
for he disappeared into the night
leaving her
with broken heart
empty tears
promises that became lies
so one always said.
Time
tick tocked
rapidly forward
leaving the past behind
still she waited.
When last she did not return to her tree
neighbors finally went ’round.
Found she was
bridal gown
veil
yellowed satin
skeleton
wrapped in her arms
as finally
they both do sleep.
December 14/18
Photo by Angelina Litvin on Unsplash