Forgiveness: A Mother’s to give

Please note this is a piece of fiction nothing that I am going through.

It’s the pain you notice the most.

Not the cold of the concrete beneath you. Or the discomfort of the stones and small detritus of every day life pressing into exposed flesh. Nor does the air, so cold exposed flesh turns blue in moments. No. None of those can compete.

Pain.

Red.

Angry.

Stone cold fist pummeling already bruised flesh.

I can feel it leaking from me.

Hot.

Pooling beneath me, warming flesh for a flash.

Lips trembling I stare up at him.

I birthed him.

I raised him.

And tonight he took my life from me.

Grey cloaks my vision. I am aware of the dull bump bump of my heart. His face contorted leans over mine. Spitting. His final disrespect.

I numbly raise my hand to cup his face. He rears back with disgust from the red gore. The multiple injuries now fading.

‘I love you my boy. I forgive you.’

His howls tore through midnight air.

Pain is the first thing you notice.

Sept. 12/22

Within Reach

Each hurt
each pain
each bitter pill I had to swallow
became a piece of armour
until one day I realized
I was covered
head to toe
silver armour
diamond studded to ensure
that no one can get through
no one can shear past this woven protection
and within
my heart
my soul
my being are kept hidden.
I feel the sun upon my face
arms akimbo
soaking in the natural beauty
feeling it upon my soul.
Unfurling
reaching for the warmth
tears begin to pool
slow to seep
fall over slender cheek
eyes closed
head back
deep breath
taking in cleansing air
exhaling a black cloud of emotion.
Rage.
Fear.
Disgust.
Shame.
Ego.
All the things that would hold me back.
I embrace this time of change.
I embrace this time of looking back
accepting what was.
I embrace this time of now
learning anew who I am.
I embrace this time of looking forward
to seeing my dreams and reaching for them.
©July 16/22
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