Mourning

**Picture is my own taken at Matlock Beach Mantioba**
I guess that I will never learn
to not give away my heart
to keep it encased
keep it locked away
so no one can hurt me.
When tears creep down my cheeks
and kleenex litters the floor
I chastize myself
for falling once more.
I thought I learned my lesson
years and years ago
only to discover
that I have not
as I lay here curled in a ball.
I no longer have the wherewithal
to text or converse with you
you have torn my heart
stomped it beneath your shoes.
I think that going forward
I won’t allow myself to feel
instead I will watch as lovers walk
holding hands
and mourn for you.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen