Ride or Die

Never 
have I lied
as to who was I
always what you see
is what you get.
Loyalty.
Love.
Adoration.
Trying to help
make life better.
We met
a tumultuous love affair
one that haunts me to this day.
Whirlwinds of romance
dancing beneath the moon
skating upon the frozen lake
all while holding you dear.
I am who I am.
I never did lie.
I am the woman that will ride or die.
Trust
abused
broken
thrown in my face
sneer upon your lips.
I never meant as much to you
as you did to me
this is something that I must place
within a framework of understanding.
I still do not get
how you could walk away
say good bye so easily?
Who I am
is exactly who you see
no fantasy 
only reality.
Would have given you everything
would have given you my all.
You twisted my words
made me feel small.
So I had to leave.
No relationship.
No friendship.
A solid good-bye.
Time has come
no longer any tears
sympathy is what I feel
for the ruination of something so good.
Ride or Die.
That is my creed.
I loved you with everything I had.
I loved you with my soul.
You could have had me forever
instead…..
you shunned my heart.
Ride or Die.
You will never know another woman like me.
©May 1/19
Picture via Pinterest

My Dream

There are no words
no soothing moments
healing the pain 
scraping free 
fresh flesh
covering the burns.
I am lost.
I no longer know
truth
reality
falsehood
lies
I must rely on the clues
the ones that I read.
So easy to disassemble
to ignore
the pain that we have caused.
Not you
not me
all could have been avoided
had you listened 
had I listened
to words we had spoken.
Am still unsure
how you clicked on that word
how you created a fantasy
from a misunderstanding
but you did.
I never said I would fuck another
I said
he would never give up.
I never gave in.
I was true.
From that first time 
to the last time
I fucked no one my dear
but you.
I opened my heart
I imagined a future
one now destroyed
because 
I think 
you saw what you wanted
what you believed would be done.
Never realizing
I was not a little girl
but a woman
unwilling to play games.
I told you.
I warned you.
I was not willing to play.
I am an adult 
no time for make believe.
I want…..
truth
love
loyalty
in the man I dream of.
 
January 21/19