I Did A Thing

Tuesday evening after work I had a Zoom Parent Teacher meeting.
 
First I am not the best with that type of tech and I kept turning mute on. Once I figured out how to unmute I realized I could not hear as the speakers were turned down but when I tried to turn up speaker I muted self again. Decided to leave the volume where it was so that I would not miss anything.
 
As expected T is doing what he needs to do and nothing more. I am hoping that with him going back to school full time on the 5th of April will make him more inclined to work a little harder. He can do it he is choosing to do the bare minimum which I am not overly impressed about.
 
The discussion than turned to Maths. And how T struggles with the ‘New’ math. What I call the torture chamber of hell where you have to write out the steps of math. Now all I know is that someone out there must have been afraid of losing their job which is how this bullshit came about. What was wrong with the old way? Nothing. It was and is like anything else repetition and memorization. Now T is struggling because he does know how to get to the answer he does not write it down the way they want him to so he is not getting the grade.
 
Me: I am going to be honest with you. As long as T gets 50-55% in Maths I am happy with that. I know he can do the work. I know that he understand. I am not going to push him to do Maths the new way when I do not understand it.
 
All his teacher could do was nod. What are you going to say to me? No I have to push him harder? That I have to force him to write this shit out when I myself do not believe in it? That absolutely will not be happening.
 
I know that T can do the Maths because I have sat with him in the evening and once I have explained the concept in a way that he understands he is off and running. And I understand that each child cannot be taught to learn they way they learn and that is where we as parents come in.
 
Also when I am older than said teacher and although not the smartest at the whole Maths thing I can still do what I need to in my head. And I do not require an elaborate system to count back money. Did anyone ever thing of that? Teaching children that they must write everything out has led to a lack of ability to perform simple adding/subtracting in their heads.
 
I know this because I have been called to many a till to help a younger staff member out when they have punched in the wrong cash amount.
 
©March 29/21
Picture is my own

This is not the Last Memory

T and I were arguing last week.
This seems to be a regular thing of late and I get it.
He is almost a teenager and striving to loosen my grip on his arm.
He wants freedom.
I want school work done.
We are working on this.
 
The amount of work that he has not done or is left half done is unacceptable.
And T knows this.
He has been telling me all along that his work is being done.
Well silly mom believing that he could be trusted to do all the work without my hanging over top of him.
 
My teaching is like my training.
Explain it once and then do it.
Hands on that is my style.
I believe you learn faster and are able to make it work in your mind with your own tricks and techniques.
So imagine how frustrating it is to both T and I when this technique does not work well for him.
His wanting me to tell him what to write and say is not a technique that works at all for me.
I have told him to use Google.
Or go and get himself an encyclopedia.encyclopedia
 
It is his reading.
I look at his test and read the instructions.
All of them.     
T stopped after the first item.
Which meant he neglected to read that three sentences were required for each of the 5 words he was to choose.
 
Next up the fact that I cannot read his printing.
At all.
I mean I am left handed and my writing is hard to decipher. 
When I was younger mom use to say that a course in reading my handwriting should be made mandatory.
Only she and my bestie were able to read it without issue.
I still have funky printing. 
And I do have to print because I work with kids who do not know what cursive writing is.
And my co-workers do not have the experience required to decipher my dips and dots.
My N’s look like D’s when capitalized.
Once I was asked who Dik was?
It was an N.ny
 
He asked me what the food chain definition and example were.
I told him I was not telling him again.
That I have now explained it four times.
He was not listening.
 
Look I get it.
I cannot even tell T why he must go to school and learn all these things.
Subjects and ideas that once he leaves school will never be thought of again.
The Ex too struggles because our son is asking him the exact same questions that he asked his dad.
Why are we learning about things that I do not need to know if I am never going to be using them?
And well I have to agree.
 
New Math was created because it is literally memorization.
Not the new but the old math.
I guess someone out there felt that that meant the little critters were not suffering sufficiently so let’s throw in 
seven steps to get an answer that everyone else in the world can do in one step.
I agree it is stupid.
Teachers everywhere can get mad at me but dude seriously…..
5+6=11.
Not 5 and 5 equal 10 and 6 minus 5 is 1. Now add that 1 to 10 and you get 11.
The answer.
Not only did the poor kid have to figure this out he has to write it all out too.
 
T is trying to get me down to an hour of homework a night.
I told him I would prefer he finish sooner.
For I too am being punished with homework.
I too at 48 am reading math and ELA.
Because I have to now be the drill sergeant.
And I cannot watch t.v. as it would distract him.
He never thought of it that way.
 
It would also stand him in good stead to do the work rather than bitch about it.
Yesterday he lolled on the couch next to me telling me about his day.
About everyone’s day.
When I tried to redirect him he complained that I was not listening to his day.
I get it he is not at all interested in doing this work.
But it must be done.
 
I was stood at the sink last week shaking after another morning of waking The Beast.
Once more I had to go in and wake him four or five times.
He refused to shower.
He cuddled the cats.
He told me the work was easy.
The day before he told me it was too hard to do and he needed my assistance.
I was furious.
I may have called bullshit.
 
Me: You know that I am not going to be here forever right?
T: Yeah why are you telling me this? 
Me: I don’t like starting our mornings arguing. I don’t like it when we argue at all.
T: I don’t like it either.
Me: I do not want that to be my last memory of you. 
T (confused): What?
Me: If this was my last memory of us I would not want it to be of us fighting.
T: Are you dying?
Me: No I just don’t like the fighting. And anything could happen. To either of us. 
And I would never want that to be the last memory I held.
 
This is my week with T.
He will work his way through this mound of work.
I have told him that this will occur this week.
For I graduated 30 years ago.
After learning all the normal Maths (you know) and English.
And I refuse to go back.
It’s like the recurring dream I have.
Where I am back in high school as an adult because it turns out I never really graduated.
 
Yeah imagine that one.
Now realize I am living it.
Out of my head.
In reality.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.memory
 
©March 2/21
Picture is my own
Pictures via Pinterest
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