Naked

I stand, naked before the mirror, looking at my flaws;

a thickening waist, breasts that are beginning to sag,

a small belly from carrying my son…

I am aging.

When I was 12, 18 seemed so far away

when I was 18, 25 was a century away

When I was 27,  I cried my first set of tears

because now I knew what it meant to be aging.

At 30 I learned that the turbulent emotions I have felt for years

the anger and rage that I spewed on my family

Was due to undiagnosed depression;

the fact I needed to sedate and obliviate

was something I figured was due.

At 35 I discovered I was pregnant and spent my time in fear

for previously I had lost my daughter,

and how could I go through that again?

My child was born a tribute to his father;

identical in looks I would say

But as he grew and aged the truth became apparent,

after his mother does he take.

Now I am 44 and before the mirror I do stand;

I see my flaws, my double chins, the crow’s feet around my eyes

but I have a better understanding, I am more free

from the child I was, the child I crave to be;

Peter Pan rides my dreams, for Neverland is true.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

March 15/17

This Man

He towers over me and thinks that he is the defender of all evil. He is 7 years younger than me and well I look after him.

My brother. The kid who disrupted my life at age 7. The kid who made me realize that there was someone I cared about more than me.

The person who can call me at 2 a.m. and say ‘Jay man I need you’ and I will say…..’uh yeah give me another hour or two and I will be there.’ LOL not even.

He calls me in the middle of the night, he calls me in the middle of the day, he says to me ‘Jay I need you,’ and I am in my car, no one else matters, and I will protect him.

He is my brother, my baby bro, he is my rock.  He is the crazy dude who looks at you and says ‘seriously you thought she was better than that, where have you been?’

He is the little boy that grew up to fast, he is the little brother who will kick your ass, he is my family……my sunshine…..he is the annoying voice that resides in my head.