Mr. I Wanna vs. Ms. Uncertainty

***Before I begin I want to give credit to raynotbradbury with regards to how I have named my characters. She writes amazing stories and uses a descriptor for the character as opposed to a name. That is what I have done here.***

I would like to tell you a story. A story of a man and a woman. The man, shall we call him Mr. I wanna Be in Charge and Go Fuck Yourself if You Don’t Like It was an insolent bastard. The woman, we will call her Ms. Uncertainty is the Name of the Game and With Acceptance of that I find Peace had fought long and hard to get where she was.
Mr. I Wanna (for short) believed that by dictating to all and everyone that his wishes nay his demands would be followed, thought that he was able to control. Control family, control desires, control aspects of life that were not his to control. Like a spindly spider in the middle of a web he reached out and touched lives that were not his to touch. He thought that with loud words and speaking over others he would get his way.
Now Ms Uncertainty she use to be like Mr. I Wanna until she fell from grace. She gathered in so many reins, had so many horses galloping in front of her wagon, that eventually they all tangled. When they did she flew overhead, landing on her back feeling it breaking. Now Ms. Uncertainty, knew that this was her last chance, she had to become clean so as not to lose her path.
Mr. I wanna was content to let Ms. Uncertainty run her own game, so long as it did not cross his wishes. For when it did, he shut her down, telling her that if she did not comply he would make her disintegrate.
Ms. Uncertainty sat back, and took a deep breath ready to do battle. But first she thought, she would allow Mr. I Wanna his moment in the spotlight before she blackened the scene. And blacken the scene she would. For you see, Mr. I Wanna forgot that when Ms. Uncertainty was crossed that a warrior surged to the forefront, ready to do battle, to cut whomever off at the knees.
Mr. I Wanna sat on his throne, gloating, assured that he had won. He surveyed his domain with a smirk of denial because he knew nothing could tear it down. Of course nothing could, but someone would. She came in silence, shrouded in a cloak of humility and anger, the dagger she carried the words that sprang from her tongue.
Ms. Uncertainty stood before the throne, threw back her hood and glared at Mr. I Wanna. He chortled sure that he had her in his grip while she cocked an eyebrow and pursed her lips. She drew herself up to her tiny little height, while he stood so he could loom. Ms. Uncertainty handed him a paper while she grinned.
Mr. I Wanna read the words, and read them again and again. His cockiness withered, his height was diminished and Ms. Uncertainty grew instead. With hands on her hips and derision on her lips, she stared at the man who now lay at her feet. Shaking her head, she turned to walk away knowing that there was no grace in continuing the beating.
‘Wait,’ sobbed Mr. I Wanna,’I’m sorry I played at a game I could never win. Please, please forgive me, allow me a place in your kingdom.’
‘I have no kingdom, I rule no one, for that is not my way,’ Ms. Uncertainty sneered at him, ‘I let all go they wish. There is no control, no ability to contain situations that are not yours to begin with.’
Ms. Uncertianty walked through the crowds, head held high. She knew without fail that Mr. I Wanna would try to usurp but she did not care.
“When you accept that the future is uncertain, that you cannot dictate nor control, you will find peace and walk in the light.”
With golden sun before her and the blackness of control behind her, Ms. Uncertainty walked forward, never looking back.
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She’s a little pushy

This is going to be a wee bit of a brag.

T has informed me that the time has come for me to move beyond my poetry to short stories. He would like to see me stories like his. The Adventures of Pickle. Kids book he has created.

I have been mulling over an idea or what I thought the idea was going to be. Last night I grabbed my notebook and opened up a new page in Evernote Notebook Fiction. I wrote for an hour. At times my fingers flew across the keyboard as my character began to take shape. Imagine my surprise when my main character morphed from male to female and the male lead is becoming a secondary character.

I wrote 1249 words last night.

I could have continued writing but than I would only be going to bed now. I have not written a short story since the early 2000’s. I am so excited and even now she is hovering at the edge of my conscious poking me as though saying ‘Hey Jay what are you doing? I am here, c’mon let’s get going I have so much to tell you.”

 

Toxic Charmer

He was just like all the men that have flitted through my life, hummingbirds looking for nectar.

Short on responsibility and long on his own needs.

And I watched a good man walk away, because I did not think

I deserved more.

Why you won’t want to date me

What one can expect to find if they continue after reading and understanding the rules:

My heart enclosed. The gates locked. Bridge is up and the moat is full. With vicious crocodiles. And piranhas.

As I sit here, pouting like a petulant toddler who’s discovered she has to share her candy, I realize how hard I am to please. I have always been the caretaker. That role, after doing it for years becomes exhaustive.

Every single relationship I have been in I end up being in total control. I am the one making all the plans, paying all the bills and ensuring that life continues along tickety-boo. And now I have independence and the only ones I need to worry about are T and myself.

So I have come up with 10 things I need to warn the opposite sex of. About me. And my requirements. For my non- relationship. With a man who can take care of himself.

1) I do not want a relationship. However I do not want to share you. So get use to it.

2) I want a text. Not a thousand times a day but a good morning, a hey in the afternoon and a good night. So I know I have flitted across your mind.

4) I want to hang out with you. But I don’t. So just sit there until you figure it out. I will continue to read my Kindle.

5) I want to talk to you. Sometimes I will actually want you to participate in the conversation. Wait for the extended pause and dive in there.

6) I am a little bit crazy. But just a little bit, most of my friends will tell you it is barely noticeable.

7) I have anxiety attacks. There is no rhyme or reason they strike from no where. Just talk to me calmly about anything so I can focus and ask you questions.

8) I am not certain I want overnight company. I now sleep diagonally across my king size bed. Debating if I want to share.

9) I live with depression. That means some days I am sad. There is nothing you can do about it. Give me a hug and kiss and I will be okay. Some cuddles are nice too.

10) I am extremely emotional. I cry at commercials. I get mad at stupid stuff. I feel things very differently.

Truthfully, I am forwarning most men.  I am a weird woman. I want my independence. I want to be taken care of. I want to be respected.

T and me had a conversation recently. He wanted to know when I was going to get a boyfriend. I phfft’d and said I did not need a boyfriend.That I was more than capable of doing what was needed. He looked at me and asked ‘ you just needed one to help you put together my bed, right mom?’  (I so could have put his bed together but a friend with a drill is much more helpful)