Choices

This is a continuation of River Styx, Desert Red, Waste/Safe Land, Harlequin and My Knight.

We travelled

mostly in silence

chirps of birds

chittering of squirrels

sometimes the only sound I heard.

I sensed

felt

knew

that somehow I disappointed

this gentle giant.

I did not know how

nor what I could do

to rectify my mistakes.

We avoided cities

towns

any sign of civilization

until the abuse done to me

physical abuse

had healed.

The scars on my mind

woke me

screaming in the night

from nightmares

where Harlequin still ruled.

He began to train me.

Sword.

Knife.

Skulking.

Shadow hopping.

Every conceiveable way

I could now

protect myself from harm.

I woke one morning

to find him gone

disappeared

into the mists of my past.

I walked alone

ruing my mentor‘s departure

for I still did not know……

where I was?

who I was?

what journey

what choices must I make?

Sept. 18/18

Photo by Anders Nord on Unsplash

Me no Mentor

So before I begin I want to give a big thanks to Confessions of An Irish Procrastinator for giving me a wee bit of a kick in the ass to do this. She had decided to do the daily prompt every day for the month of May and asked for ride alongs. I am a ride along although I started 2 days in. If you have not had a chance to check out her  blog please do. I giggle every time I read one of her posts. And you do not need to be Irish nor a Procrastinator to enjoy.

I have thought long and hard about today’s word prompt. And I will tell you it has been difficult for me. Believe it or not I even googled the word to see if there was an alternate meaning that would work for me. Alas, there is not. Therefore this post is going to be short and sweet.

At no point and time will I ever mentor anyone. Never ever ever and this is accompanied by vehement head shakes.

I am the world’s worst teacher at anything. I do not have the patience to explain things over and over again. I become very frustrated and will end up just pushing whomever I am trying to teach out of the way (usually T although I believe he does it wrong just so I will) and do it myself. I get very irritated and do not know why.

See, I learn by hands on. Maybe I will listen to someone explaining to me what needs to be done, but for the most part I would rather play around with computer, phone, till, scales what have you, until I figure it out myself. Even if you do explain it to me, most likely I have zoned you out and figured out 10 different ways to do it faster and better. (Oh yes I know that sounds totally egotistical but that is how my mind works. I have short cuts upon short cuts and what may take someone upwards of half hour or more to do usually takes me 10 or 15 minutes.)

So my way of teaching is to show you once and than set you free. How else are you going to learn if you do not do it? Some people will thrive with this type of mentoring while others will flounder. And than my impatience gets in the way.

Best thing I have decided is to take a step back and not teach/mentor anyone. Let me do what I have to do and everyone else can be the teacher. It really is a better fit all around. Now, mom, wow she can mentor and teach but it is not a talent/attribute that she passed along to me.