Mini Male Me

Today has been another day of laughter. So much laughter that I am crying.
I have to apologize but I do not have a picture to make it real but today Tember cleaned out his closet. I came home for my 3:30-4 break and Tember greets me at the door with:
‘Oh my god mom my closet is nasty. Nasty! There was a bug! It was huge! I think I killed it with Febreeze!’
‘When did it last move?’
‘Not for like 10 minutes.’
‘Pretty sure it is dead.’
‘Mom do we have rubber gloves?’
‘No Tember we do not.’
‘Mom could you buy some for me before I finish the closet?’
We than measured hands to determine what size I should buy. We settled on medium turns out he needs large.
He is now relaxing on his bed……tomorrow he will finish his room. You know what though he cleaned a lot up the last week he was here. He has done an awesome job so I am not pushing it. I will still pay him his allowance.
Today he had to submit a project about probability. I asked him about it and he admitted that although the teacher explained he still could not understand.
‘Tember probability is about the outcome. So if you do something what is the likelihood it will happen again? Or consequences.’
‘Mom so like if I were to go to Co-op and steal from them what is the probability I would be caught?’
‘Yes.’
He now understands probability.
I came home with rubber gloves for him. The good kind. The real rubber gloves. The ones that can be used over and over. Tember thought I was going to bring home the type of gloves that one finds in a doctor’s office.
‘No I bought the good ones.’
‘That is awesome mom.’
‘Now you can clean the toilet. No excuses.’
Last but not least…..and both Tember and I were crying from laughing.
Tember was suppose to take the garbage down and instead forgot and let me continue stuffing garbage in there. He asked me to take garbage bag out as he would spill it. When I did I realize I need to clean out under the sink. There is stuff. So I pop up for a cloth. There are three of them in the sink. So I ask Tember why there are 3 clothes in the sink?
‘Mom what are you saying?
‘Clothes.’
‘Say it again?’
‘Clothes.’
‘What are closs?’
‘Clothes…..the things you wipe with.’
‘Mom what is wrong with you?’
A lot my boy…..a lot.
Tember and me we laugh all the time. Like all the time. We both have the same sense of humor. LOL his dad’s girlfriend even told him he must have gotten his sense of humor from me as his dad is just not funny.
I will close with this:
Came home on my first 1/2 hour.
Tember and me we talk and joke around.
When  I leave I tell him that my next break is 3:30-4
‘Mom how come you have two long breaks today?’
‘When I am in customer service I get two half hour breaks..’
‘Mom how come you are only coming home for one break??????’
And I have been busted.
April 30/20

Did You Turn the Lights Out?

Well me and my warped humor have struck again. I have now moved from being the cool funny mom to being ‘that’  mom. And the fact that I laugh at my own jokes seems to make matters worse. But laugh I do. To the point where I am crying. Besides if I don’t mess with Tember’s head who will?
Tember has this really bad habit. Really bad. He turns lights on. Hall. Bathroom. Kitchen. Upper hallway. You name it he turns it on. What he does not do is turn them off. That is right…..no matter how many times I remind him…..nag him……bully him as he would say…..this kid is incapable of turning lights off.
This week the ex dropped Tember off a few nights. Tuesday evening he arrives home knocks on the door and as he opens it hollers ‘helloooooooooooooo’ so I did not hear him lock the door. This bothers me for one main reason…..he has been known to get distracted and forget to lock the door. He comes down the stairs and the hallway light to the stairs goes on…..the kitchen light well I had left the one on over the stove so it was good for now…..bathroom light……hallway light and his room. Every light blazing. Our conversation is as follows:
Me: Buddy did you lock the door?
Tember: Yes.
Me: Did you turn the lights out?
Tember: What?
Me: Did you turn the lights out?
Tember: Why?
Me: Did you turn the lights out? You turn them on but not off! Have you turned the lights off?
We go back and forth me asking Tember getting more and more annoyed and once I start to giggle…..things got even more annoying.
Me: (for like the thousandth time) Buddy did you turn the lights out?
Tember: Mom seriously that is enough. Enough ok? You are not funny.
Me: Hey buddy did you turn the lights out? You still have not told me. And are you sure that you locked the door?
Tember (sighing exasperated as I am giggling): Mom I locked the door. I will turn the lights out I swear.
Me: I don’t believe you.
Tember: Mom that is enough you are not funny.
He putters around the kitchen putting his lunch containers in the sink. Bathroom and of course the lights are still on. I am laying in bed chortling watching but at same time I am in need of reassurance. I need for him to check to door.
Now….I have at this time gotten out of bed turned all the lights off and crawled back into bed. Why did I not check the door myself you might ask? Turning lights out does not require glasses checking that the door is locked does…..Jay is lazy.
I crawl back into bed and Tember goes into the kitchen to grab a drink. Light in hall goes on. Light in bathroom goes on. Light in kitchen goes on. I am like seriously but at the same time I am going to take advantage of this.
Me: Tember are you sure that you locked the door?
Tember:  Yes mom I am.
Me: Are you sure sure?
Tember (and I hear the frustration) : Mom I locked the door.
Me: Can you just humor your mom? Please? Go and check the door for me.
Tember: grumbles under his breath……it is locked mom…..
Me: giggle giggle snort snort….but did you turn out the lights?
Were I to write over and over how many times I asked Tember if he turned out the lights you would abandon reading this. However whether child or parent you have been at one end or the other of this conversation so go with that……
Maybe it is only me? I don’t know but I thought I was hilarious. Two days after this happened I was still giggling. As I write this I am giggling.
Tember……he did not…..does not…..think that I was/am funny at all.
Okay…..he told me I was not funny.
I have told a few people about this…..and with the exception of one everyone has thought my messing with him is hilarious……now every night before bed the question shall be asked:
Did you turn the lights out?
***I am laughing as I write this. Maybe it is only funny in my head because each time I tell it I am crying laughing by the end. It may not translate as well in my writing as it does in the telling but I hope it does.*****
Jan. 11/20
Picture via Pinterest
Writing, Reading, Living, but mostly Hiding

Writing, blogging, journaling

Sarah Rajkotwala - Author & Spiritual Teacher blog

Gardening Fairies Flowers Spirituality Angels Love Joy

Small Business Administration Offers.

We are constantly adding new offers to our site. Be sure to come back later.

Learning with Life

Poems, quotes, learning, feelings, introspect, experience as well as discovering..

Poetry Of Tantrik Nihilist

A blog for my lyrics/poetry. Typically, I write about dark things such as nihilism, the occult, social commentary, introspection etc.

Chain Breaker821

#motavation#grief#addict#jesus# grace #recovery#lostloveone#widow#Godsavedme#butterfly

Enchantress Lands

Magic all around

° BLOG ° Gabriele Romano

The flight of tomorrow

Unabashedly Ashleigh

A mom's journey from hardship to new beginnings

Heartwritten Story of a Daughter

—By Gabriele Schmetterling Richter

Captain Q

Poems From The Pirate In My Soul

Big Adventures Little Car

Get outside! Big adventures await!

motivationalcopingandhealingcom.wordpress.com/

Navigating Through Hardships Together

mentalnotes1

POETRY, RANDOM THOUGHTS AND STUFF LIKE THAT....

Books & Poems Coffee & Teas

poems,coffee,teas,stories,,beautiful images

Sunrise Today...

Beauty shall rise with the dawn from the East

The Norty Borderline

Living With BPD

Top Interest

Anything Fun Is What I Aim For.

%d bloggers like this: