Emmie/Emmellia Untitled Poem #11

He groomed me.
He molded me.
He sold me.
Why do you continue to ask
over and over
same questions
different ways
same answers
every time
right down
to the infliction.
Why do you need to torment 
what I would rather forget?
Hidden deep
stirring depths
dragon raised
protected
nurtured
dark hatred
tips of fingers to tips of toes
starved silhouette
pirouettes
silent
through shadows
drives
rapid memories
into mind
turning perversion
mind frothing insanity
boiling
inside out
blood flowing
standing
watch
life
ebbing away.
You think
you feel
I should care more
feel more?
Your society believes 
no matter provocation
I should bow
I should be thankful
survived?
Have you stood
grown men
staring
pre-pubescent
budding nipples
do not sit
judgement
unless you too
have seen
have done 
the things forced upon me.
Defiance found
stand tall
protect at all cost
little girl
found
behind scarred door
locked with chains
keeping
at best
worst of the monsters
out.
©January 26/21
Picture is my own

Emmie Untitled Poem #1

Don’t like him.
Voice
childlike
tired
resigned
hint of the woman she is
the woman she hides behind
hiding the small girl within
barricaded behind steel bars
no one allowed to get close
no one able to find the truth
held close to breast
eyes
bleak
terror filled
twisting hair between fingers
slumped down
fixated beyond this meeting.
Who don’t you like Emmie?
Emmellia
I have told you 
time and again
my name is not Emmie
it is and always has been
Emmellia.
Once you went by Emmie.
No more.
Who is it that you do not like Emmellia?
You know who.
And if he persists I will kill him.
Threats are serious Emmellia.
You cannot go around threatening the male staff.
They should learn to keep hands to themselves than.
More fantasies?
Truth.

Screams.
Raw.
Anguished.
Crawled along dark corridor
ringing off empty cells
abused
battered
cling to wall
cling to bear
cling to wildness
get close no one can.
Vacant.
Mouth open.
Soundless pain.
Beside body
orange crew cut
painted scarlet
fear
forever stains his face
so much blood
it is hard to tell
where his ends
and hers begins.
©Dec. 28/20
Picture via Pinterest