More Growth Required

I learned something about myself today. I still have a ton of work to do on myself.

When I get frustrated, I have the worst habit of not saying anything and being really short with the person. My tone becomes whiplashish. I hate that I do this and realize that I really have to learn to be better.

I need to remember to take a deep breath. When I am frustrated.

I need to remember that I do not need to engage with everyone who says something stupid to me. Those who like to tell me that we can reprogram our self checkouts so that it does not ask how many bags you used when you put in that you were using your own bags. I said it has to do with the scale and asking for the bags is part of the payment. She did not like that answer and I think she may have gone and said something. I know who she is lol and I remember stuff like that. But I did not need to engage with her.

I need to remember that I have got to rein in my expectations. I have a bad habit of expecting everyone else to act the same way that I do. And everyone is different. People do not think like I do and I am aware of this.

I have this bizarre mixture of thoughts going through my head. I am not even really sure what they are about.

I realized today that I have a lot of growth left. I have a lot of things to learn and I look forward to doing so. It is uncomfortable to recognize this lack within me.

I am going to leave it here because I am ramblin. Tired. Hungry.

Sept. 29/22

Stuffies……

These are my stuffies. They have been gifted to me by Tember. Gus is the green alien. Apparently he squeaks I love you when squeezed the right way. I use him to throw at the cats when they are being annoying and scratching closet door because……..it is the middle of the night and why would mom want to sleep?

The moose is name Sam. I purchased him for Tember and he was regifted to me. All good. He is great cuddler.

As for big bear I have yet to rename him but he is mine now. Tember used him to try and scare me. It worked. And I got another snuggle buddy.

Last week was my full week with Tember. As always our week was filled with a lot of silliness and laughter. I came home from work on Friday……he has been cleaning the closet and decided that he was going to try to scare me……so he moved big bear into my room and put a book in his lap. I come home all innocent like and walk into my bedroom to scream because well big bear on the bed reading a book……he was not there when I left for work.

Tember thought this was hilarious.

However revenge would be mine.

Mondays I am now working 2-10:30 so regardless of my week or his dad’s Tember goes to his dad’s place.

I get home just after 10 on Monday and Tember is laying in wait for me.

‘Mom……my plan to scare you backfired on me.’

‘Why?’

‘Well when I came down the stairs to go into my room and I saw big bear I screamed and jumped.’

I laughed. Long and hard. Ha ha revenge is mine.

What I am not going to tell him….Big Bear (the name is growing on me) scares the hell out of me every day.

One might move him out of the way but nah……at least I know he will kick start my heart even as a heart attack happens.

May 6/20

Picture is my own (stating the obvious is a fault)

 

 

 

 

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