Covid Funnies

This week I had two Covid instances that killed me.

I mean one I could not laugh until the customer had walked away.

The other occurred during T’s Covid Shot.

Did I forget to mention that he had his first shot on Thursday?

Like a trooper.

No arm pain.

Feeling terrific.

21 more days and he can get dose #2.

Here is hoping we are both fully vaccinated before the end of June.

Incident #1

I am called to Customer Service to help a customer.

He had not read the sticker properly and thought a $23 package of bacon was on for $9.99.

Now while there have been seriously good sales like that not on this bacon that is for sure.

Sale price was $19.99 for almost 4lbs of thick sliced bacon.

I return the bacon as it had not yet left the store and need to get some information from the customer.

Me: May I have your name please?

Customer: What do you need my name for? I am fully vaccinated!

Me: Sir this has absolutely nothing to do with Covid and everything to do with the fact that we are returning product. (I am pretty proud the response rolled of my tongue before I could get the ‘did I just hear that stupid shit come out of your mouth?’ 🙄🙄😖😖look on my face)

Customer: W. Prquestinl

All fired at me in quick succession knowing I would not catch it.

Whatever.

Me: Thank you sir you have a wonderful day. 😀

I am still trying to fathom how the customer equated returning a product and needing to provide information with needing to tell me he was fully vaccinated.

I was not taking down his info as a close contact lol

Oh that some people give themselves such importance.

On Thursday we go for T’s shot.

We are sitting waiting for the nurses to get to us and T is getting a bit nervous.

They arrive and the nurse asks for the consent form.

Hand it over and she begins the questions.

Nurse: Can you tell me your name?

T: Tember

Nurse: And your last name?

T: Doerksen

Nurse: Can you tell me your full birth date?

T: Tember O’Donnel Ernest Doerksen😂😂😂😂

Nurse: ?

Me (snorting): Your birthday buddy.

T: Oh Aug. 7.

Nurse: And year?

T: 2008.

I am sitting in my corner giggling.🤣🤣🤣

T looks over and I brush his hair out of his eyes.

Me: Buddy that was like me and the guy on the phone.

T: Well yours was more embarrassing. Telling someone you had your name for 48 years and liked it just fine. 😝😝😝

Me: He doesn’t know me it was not embarrassing it was hilarious.

We both laughed.

I mean we all know that T and me and two peas but omg to have a similar mishearing and answering about our names.

He is at his dad’s this weekend.

It is going to 34 or something before you factor in the humidex.

I plan to spend the day in and out of the sun.🌞🌞

But spent outdoors.🏝🏝

Reading and listening to music.🎧📗📗

I have a bonus Saturday off and I am going to take it fully as a lazy hazy day.👙👙

OMG😜😜😜

I almost forgot about the penis drawing in health class.

The teacher took all the pictures and informed the class he would be turning them into the art teacher for extra credit or something?

IDK 🤷🤷🤷but when I have the info I will let y’all know

©June 5/21

Picture is my own

He Knows I’m Crazy

Went in this morning to wake T up and ask if he wanted to get up then (6 a.m.) or sleep until 7.

Obviously he chose the 7 a.m. wake up call.

I decided that it was time to check his phone. 

Something I have not done since he got it.

I trust my son.

I know every parent says that and then wonders how their child became a serial killer.

But I do.

He comes to me with things that I know he won’t talk about with his dad.

Regardless that is neither here no there.

I open his phone and decide the first thing that I was going to look at was his text messages.

I flip open and my eyes start looking down the list.

And see what I am listed as in his phone.

I burst out laughing so hard.

T half asleep: what why are you laughing what are you doing?

Me: Looking at your phone. I haven’t since I got it for you and I just saw how you have me named. I love it.

Crazy Lady I Came out Of. 

That is my handle.

Also and I am not sure where I heard this or if I have written it here before.

Regardless as far as I am concerned it is still funny.

I would really like to know who decided that this point of my life is called menopause.

Believe me I have not hit the pause button on my crazy hormone induced frenzy I just no longer have a physical aspect of it.

And I highly doubt that at age 60 I am suddenly going to say:

Hey you know what I really miss being hormonal and nearly killing people every 28 days or so.

Where is the unpause button? 

I would really like my period back.

Ha! 

There is not a woman around who is going to want it back.

I mean I could be wrong but I cheered and would have done cartwheels if I did not fear falling on my face.

Have a great Tuesday all.

Hope that I sent you off with a smile on your lips and a cheer in your heart.

©Feb. 23/21

Picture is my own