Homework has Changed

Mon, Wed and Friday this week are school days.
Tues and Thurs at home days with additional work to be done.
Tues I receive a text from T telling me that he:
a) does not understand the homework
b) cannot email his teacher as he did not have his Chromebook.
I wanted to know where the Chromebook was.
He had left it at home and I saw him leave without it.
Responded with he is a big boy and I am not responsible for ensuring he has what he needs.
I got back a grumpy I know but I can’t do this.
Told him that we would look at it when he arrived home.
As I was not working Wednesday I could stay up and help with the homework.
He arrives home and hauls out his red folder.
First up: Patterns (Math)
There is a pyramid with numbers in the bottom corners/blanks and one must figure out the numbers.
I admit I looked over it for about 30 seconds or so before my brain made the connection.
No matter what way I explained it T could not understand what I was doing.
Finally though I think that he understood.
Main problem he had: No one said it was math mom!
I chuckled a little and told him this was something we would have to work on.
Next Up: Root Words (ELA)
He was given roots i.e. graph/gram and had to find the words or the meaning.
Instagram
Photograph
I asked if he was suppose to be looking up the root meanings?
IDK is the most common line of response.
As we are going along he is beginning to understand.
Each answer must contain the ‘root’ word.
We get to -dict-
I cannot remember the first word but the meaning of the second word:
To say or command something forcefully.
First word to pop into my head: Edict
T looks at me as if I am making up words.
I told him that his teacher was going to know that I was helping him with his homework.
T laughed and said she should be able to figure out that I helped him with everything.
We did get through all 4 pages of work and were thrilled until T turned to the last page.
He was suppose to write a paper or something on the quote:
No one has the power to destroy your dreams unless you give it to them.
Agree/Disagree.
T says he disagrees but what did I think?
I said I agree.
He said so do I then.
I asked why?
He said I am just going to pretend that I did not see this page.
I could not fault him with that one.
It was 10:30 and I was not about to read and edit his work.
Told him he could do it in the morning.
Needless to say the paper did not get written yesterday a.m. before school.
Whether he has written it or not I am unsure.
I will have to assume I will either receive an email if he has not or he has done so and I can forget about it.
I am not sure about this additional task to add to my day.
I work 40 hours a week.
I am mom 24/7.
I am a chauffeur.
Chief Cook & Bottle Washer.
Maid service.
Cheerleader.
And now…..teacher.
One thing though as teacher I am not going to include learning on my own behalf.
If the ‘new’ math does not work for me I will be using ‘old’ math.
You know the one that was around for hundreds of years.
That no one had any issue with until-well-could someone please explain to me what the hell the point of new math is?
T does math in his head.
Like his mother.
Like his father.
We do not show our work with words.
We do show our work with numbers.
If the answer is the same who the heck cares how you got there as long as you got there.
Math is hard enough as it is why make it harder?
Have a totally awesome Thursday lovies.
©Nov. 19/20
Picture is my own

Works of Art in Progress

T and me, we have had an interesting morning. He slept in, me I was up at 6 a.m. when the alarm on his phone (it is not live, it can only be used with wi-fi. No phone calls, no texting.) went off and played for a minute. I did try to go back to sleep, but to no avail. So up I got, made coffee and fed the cats.
T, he slept until 10. He laid in bed for awhile and finally I had to holler at him to come into the living room.
He was mad at me. He asked me to get him a bowl of cereal. I said no I was working out. I ended up getting annoyed. I snapped at him. Raised my voice slightly. Tember rolled his eyes at me. I snatched the phone out of his hands. Walked into my room and set the phone down. When I came out T was covering his eyes with his hand. I sat down on the couch next to him and looked at him.
Our conversation went all over the place. I have a super bad habit of looking forward as a control issue. So that I have everything planned out and I know that nothing can hurt me. Weird that that is how it came out. I keep telling T that once he becomes a teenager he will not want to spend time with me. That his friends will be more important. I am okay with that eventually he will come back to me.
Suddenly T begins sobbing and tells me that I am always telling him what he is going to do. That he is not going to do that to me. And I started to leak as well. I have damaged my child. My anxieties, my depression have scarred him. He is angry with me. And I am badgering him.
I told him that the reason that I was so insistent on us being together, talking and hanging out, was because when we first split, my Ex told me that T had told him that I never did anything with him. That I am so afraid that he will still feel that I do not spend enough time with him. Tember got really angry and said that he had never said that. (I imagine some of you are wondering why I would tell T that his dad made that comment and I am not telling him something that he has not already figured out on his own. Yes, run on sentence. ) T said the Ex had made that comment.
I took a deep breath and even though tears still leaked from my eyes, I told T we were going to change. That I was going to work very hard to stop planning so far ahead. That we are going to start living in the moment. I also told him that he would have to help me with this. That if I started to plan too far ahead (like when he is 30) he will rein me in.
I asked him once more if he wanted me to speak to his dad about the fact that T feels that he is not spending enough time with him. Adamently told me no. I told him that I loved him. He told me he loved me. And than the goofy talk started.
I said to T that maybe one day I will win the lottery. That I would be able to stay at home and be with him all the time. I would follow him everywhere. Helping out in his classroom. I do believe that although he laughed along with me T is horrified to think that I may actually do this. He said several times that it would be odd, awkward and disturbing if I were to follow him everywhere.
This segued into a conversation about school. That I would not be helping the students. That I would be doing paperwork with the teacher. Which some how led to us talking about math. And how bizarre it was the way they did it now. That in my day we did not require a Ph.d in Metaphysical blah blah blah you get the point. At which point T annouces that that was ’80’s math’. You know like more than 20 years ago. Ha.
I grabbed a note book and got a pen. Sat down and made up a number. I showed T how we use to multiply numbers. We flipped over to a clean page and T wrote out his way. Our answers did not match. I had to get out the calculator and show him. His response to being shown that the calculator and my answer matched: ‘Mom you cannot believe calculators. Or Google. Or the internet.’ I could only stare at him in disbelief.
I have been working very hard not to use the angry raised voice. My annoyed voice rises slightly but it is not the raised voice. I need to work on my listening skills, and rather than responding quickly and saying the wrong thing, actively think about what I am going to say. A couple of times I did do this while we were in the angry part of the conversation. I stopped myself from whatever I was going to say and took a deep breath before continuing.
T and me, we are going through growing pains. There is also the fact that we are seeing one another every day with the exception of the Saturday and Sunday of his dad’s week and the Sunday at the end of my week. That is an adjustment. As well, I can only imagine how hard it must be to go back and forth between two very different households. T goes from little to no rules to rules and routine.
I cried. T cried. We had a really good conversation. I know that there is no rule book for parents. I am learning how to parent T as much as he is learning who he is and defining the values that he will hold dear as he becomes an adult. I am evolving as well.
We are works of art in progress.
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