Possessive Wretchedness

This poem will be a trigger for certain people.
Mom if you see this before I warn you not to read……do not read……I am working something out.
This is about abuse. 
This is a memory I am unsure of. However I keep coming back to it. As I said above to mom…..I am working on something. 
Came to me
middle of the night
took from me
sense of self
sense of me
before him
you did rape me.
Driving home
broken heart
death would be preferable
could not do
to mother true.
Loved me she did
she does 
knowledge found
so much later
wish not to share
warned her
can only hope
these words
she reads not
but I need to bleed.
Coming home
three in front
red light
single girls
blaring music
his smile
my disgust.
Years later
so many years
I know not what to make
gnaws at me
this memory does
delve not deep
want to ignore
yet still…..
every time it does arise
tamp down I do
therapy taught me one thing
dig not
truth will come
hoping still
a nightmare undone.
©May 16/20
Picture found on Pinterest

Dark Souls

Perfect family
brother and sister
little baby too
fantasy life on the outside
nightmare within.
Eat every morsel
lesson learned
if you do not
upon feces one shall dine
until up it is puked.
Clean every corner
let no grime remain
soap scum
means a bar in the mouth
nasty names screamed in vain.
No accidents in the underwear
big girl 
yes you are
hair brush wielded 
can no longer sit down.
Door locked…..
keep the monsters at bay…..
keep the monsters away…..
desire for death
the perfect family
revered by all
oh if only they really knew.
Sunday comes
father mounts the pulpit
holy book in hand
decries the sins of the common man
denounces the devil’s tricks
making light of his.
In the gloom
a devil did sit
saliva dangling to the floor
later that night
giggling to himself
he shall dine upon the darkest souls.
©Jan. 23/20
Picture via Pinterest

Untitled Picture Prompt Poem #12

Tic Tock…..
Tic Tock…..
can you hear the clock?
Bells tolling?
constant clamour
pierced to the core
what is to come?
Ebony shadows
trick of the eyes
brain creating
planting ideas
what is not there
what is
what awaits on the other side?
on your knees
tears on stained face
with old gods
with new gods
to take away the voices
to take away the pain.
Wings envelope
mere whispers
a brushing of the wind
against your face.
Look to your saviour
your deliverer.
Howling revulsion
raucous laughter
to your very essence.
all your worst nightmares
free to consume
to haunt
to feed upon you.
©June 3/19
Picture via Pinterest

The Circus Comes To Town

Come my darling
follow me
down the cluttered path.
Ignore the memories
they pile up
if I do not take care
if I do not brush them aside.
Tantalized are you?
Wonder all around
you would like a closer look
but out come the clowns.
handing out dreams
handing out hopes
like candy
that the faithful consume.
Magician flare
that I have
I keep it all hidden under my hat.
Come my darling
follow me
do not look there
nothing to see.
Sorry my darling
you proved untrue
unfortunately I must hurt you.
Cuffs of velvet 
hands and feet
tether your body
to the iron wheel.
Curse me
scream at me
hurts me not.
See my darling
I have walked this path before.
Blonde curls
blue hair clip
sweet little girl
everything is amiss.
No home for you
no I am sure
out into the cesspool for you.
©May 22/19
Picture via Pinterest

Untitled Picture Prompt Poem #11

where once my heart was
casket bound
carried on the shoulders of carrion
blood draining
free from taint.
Eyes burned
seared from sin
tongue sheered
no longer spoken
uttered in deference
shelter in the corner of my mind.
Barren desert
hand outstretched
do you see the anger
the hate?
Do you understand
how broken I am?
Shards of glass
embedded in knees
in hands
bloody alleyway.
I am bound…..
by fear
by anguish
unable to break free
unable to lose you
unable to……
let go
say good bye.
I shall recollect
a million nightmares
drifting from fingertips
flung to haunt
the midnight sky.
I beg of you
rescue me.
This onslaught
must be stopped
illusions stripped true
stand on my own
spear in hand
demons at my feet.
©May 7/19
Picture via Pinterest

Untitled Poem #2

***I wrote this after having a nightmare.***
Shadowy beings
sidle down the wall
drawing near.
Slipping beneath the blankets
pillow over my head
trying to escape the nightmare
that you have left.
hands clapped over my ears
go away
leave me alone
get away from here.
tears fall free
memories watched through a gauzy film.
Silent screams
ricochet through my brain
like this pain.
Oct. 14/18
Photo by Olla Ky on Unsplash


His shadow spreads
over bitter walls
skeletal fingers
creep along
he wants to come in.
Hidden under the covers
trying to ignore the fear
counting beneath your breath
please do not let him come near.
Each footstep
each creak of the floor
an indication that he is coming closer.
Mouth working
throat closing
your scream comes out
as a whispered no.
Terror holds you tight
an embrace you cannot escape from
the door slowly opens
as you squeeze your eyes shut.
Like a child
you are convinced
that if you cannot see him
He cannot see you.
Covers slowly pulled away
a low moaning hiss
fingers pressing
nay bruising into your flesh
as you struggle to awaken
away from this horror
towards the sunrise.
August 31/18
Picture via: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/804596289653185639/