20 Questions

Do you think I am pretty?

Peering close

Nose almost to mirror

Trace

See

Blemishes

Where none there are.

Do you think I am beautiful?

Blind

Seeing imperfections

A pinch of skin

Equals an ounce of fat

Starving

Fingers down throat

Counting the ribs

Macabre delight.

Am I skinny enough?

Do you love me know?

No?

Carved

Bones taken

Lips injected

Breasts lifted

Look into the mirror

Who do you see?

Who is this stranger looking back?

Do you love me now?

Do you want me now?

I have changed everything

Why is it not enough?

©June 6/22

Picture via Pinterest

Beauty

What do you see when you look at me?

when you value me based on societal concepts?

Do you see the way my eyes light up?

when I giggle and laugh over the stupidest things?

Or do you only see the fine lines radiating from my eyes;

the brackets from smiling around my mouth?

Would you care to know how long it took;

for me to stop covering my mouth when I laughed or smiled?

Did you see me in the dressing room, trying to find the right clothes?

the ones that I like, that I have chosen because they fit my form?

Are you aware of how long it took;

for me to look in the mirror and be proud?

I never was a Beauty Queen

I never won that award.

I flaunted my figure and used my wiles

so society would think I fit the norm.

It took me a long long time,

to be able to look in the mirror and see me

Beautiful and confident, in my own way

which is the one that society does deny.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

May 1/17

 

%d bloggers like this: