What if?

What if?
After your heart has mended
your tears have dried
no longer 
cuddling with pillows
still holding his scent
your phone were to ping.
What if?
One last wish
one last breath held
heart flutters
seeing his name
trembling smile
could it be true
had he come back…..
to play?
What if?
Truth always told
second 
always you will be 
yet 
happiness
in world does bloom
selfish
you know
here you have been before
pain only
upon this path does walk
courting it
you are.
What if?
Could you forgive?
Could you accept?
No more time
less in fact
five minutes in life
an eternity in fantasy
eyes cast in agony
doubt frustrates
drawn back within
yearning
aching 
for his touch.
What if?
Could you
would you
should you
pain that path lays
loneliness
empty nights
littered with tears
empty bottles
liquid love
easing ache
you could do without.
What if?
What ifs 
a useless game
designed 
to frustrate
to employ
wishes
dreams
wants
desires
hidden deep 
taken out
as night blackens
stars atwinkle
wish upon one…..
What if…..
 
©Oct. 21/20
Picture via Pinterest

Fucking Memories

Tears seep
gentle falling
you will never see
you will never know
I am not that woman
the one 
who will not let you go.
I knew.
Other woman…..
I was.
Other woman….. 
I would always be.
Does not stop…..
Heart from wanting.
Heart from caring.
Heart from loving you.
I had to change my notifications.
Every time 
I received a message
thinking from you 
excitement would rise 
hope would spark
until I opened 
disappointment reigns.
Not you.
Never you.
Why does this hurt so much?
You told me I was wonderful.
You told me I was great.
You told me….. 
I was your happy place.
Then you told me good-bye.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
F……U…..C…..K   Y…..O…..U…..
No more tears
will I waste 
on memories 
of you
and 
me.
 
©Sept. 19/20
Picture via Pinterest