Staying Through

I try so hard to pretend

that the pain and illusions

they mean nothing to me

not in the grand scheme of things.

I try so hard to walk away

to let the grief and despair

become a part of my landscape

and not find a space in my heart.

I want to not feel

to not surrender to the pain

that spears through my being

when I think of you

and how you will go.

I was never suppose to fall in love

never suppose to see your soul.

We were together for a brief period

and it came to be so much more.

I lay in your arms,

silent tears soaking your skin

as we pretend that nothing is remiss

that this will not be the last time.

Why do I always want?

Why do I always fall hard for the men

that will only walk away?

Never staying through

to slay the dragon and find the princess

asleep in the tower.

I watch you walk away

never turning to see

the silent grey figure

standing with tear stained cheeks

my hand held out to you.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

Oct. 29/17

 

Take Care (Please)

Take care when you break my heart
shelter it with kindness
rip it apart in one fell swoop
so the pain can abate.
Ignore the tears streaming from my eyes
the tremble of my lip
embrace me once
and turn to go
for I cannot take this.
Where once I smiled and played
now I force myself
to walk each day
as though there was reason
as though there was hope.
Take care when you break my heart
for I know no way forward
from the dance,
from the kiss.
With each passing day
my life will heal
my tears will cease to fall
but still there will be a hole
where your tenderness is missing.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
Oct. 24/17
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