Perfection

Perfection? 

Do you strive for it?

Do you search for it?

Perfection without mar

without scratch or scar

and impossible feat

and yet

still I try.

Perfect daughter.

Perfect sister.

Perfect mother.

Perfect friend.

Perfect boss.

Perfect co-worker.

Perfect employee.

Perfect lover.

Take all the cares 

carry all the burdens 

that others offer up

so I do not have to see,

so not have to feel

the longing abyss inside.

The facade of perfection I wear

the face that I present

is beginning to show cracks and tears

for I am incomplete

and I do know how to hide.

Hide the tears 

hide the addiction that I feed

hide the pain and the fear

down this road I have travelled before

it makes it no less unknown.

Slowly I will reclaim

the peace of mind I deserve.

But for now I struggle,

through ever shifting sands

of depression and blackness

drowning in all these sorrows.

Jay-lyn Doerksen

December 24/17

Caring and Tender

Dearly beloved
all gathered here today
to watch as we enshrine this heart
to wrench free the source of caring
of love and pain
and bind it within a jeweled cask
so nevermore can it offend.
Find not the sorrow that awakens
as in the dawn we chant
spells of change and reclaimation
ensuring that this heart
is chained and wrapped so tight
so as not to have a chance to be free.
See not the anger and hatred
that consume this life
that make me such a bitch
only mark the time that passes
life hardened and incomplete.
It is with great sadness that we renounce your claim
this heart will become the companion to all
forever more shall you walk
in bleakness and disrepair
while we huger for that force.
The force to feed the whole of humanity
the force to become the warrior
the force that is going to make it all right
grown within the heart you catupulted from your chest.
Caring and tender
the emotions you bear
turned out to all who claim
while you lay barren upon the sands of time
a murder overhead,
watching your bones become bleached in the sun.
Jay-lyn Doerksen
December 21/17
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