Stuck in the Middle

Gosh darn it all I have gone and put T in the middle.
When you are a child of divorce and you yourself are separated with a child you want to be aware of the situations you were put in and avoid those with your own child(ren).
Well I hate to say it but I put T square in the middle of the vaccine debate between his dad and I.
And I have to learn to keep my big fat mouth shut with regards to his father around him.
 
Last evening when T got dropped off he went off on me.
Not off yelling and screaming but he let me know.
 
‘Even if you get the shot you can still get the virus mom.’
‘Yes T in the first 14 days you are right you can still pick up the virus. It will not make you ill but you will be a carrier. Meaning you could give it to your father without knowing it.’
‘Oh.’
‘Do you not want the vaccine?’
‘Yeah I don’t care.’
‘Do you or do you not want the vaccine? If you do not want it I will cancel your appointment right now.’ (you parents heard it)
‘No I want to be vaccinated.’
 
T is torn between a rock and a hard place.
Here is mom who has always looked after him and done the best whereas his father his filling his head with nonsense.  (I know folks I am working on the tone)
This is a man who use to be so science and fact based that he believed in nothing if it could not be proven.
 
I messaged the ex last night and asked him if he would like to come in and discuss the vaccine when he dropped T off.
I got back ‘if I have time.’
Huh.
I have been reminding myself over and over and over that I will listen.
I will not react without first thinking through my answer.
I will bite my tongue.
I will let him get everything out in the open.
If he has time.
If not well I tried at least.
 
©May 18/21
Picture is my own

He Knows I’m Crazy

Went in this morning to wake T up and ask if he wanted to get up then (6 a.m.) or sleep until 7.
Obviously he chose the 7 a.m. wake up call.
I decided that it was time to check his phone. 
Something I have not done since he got it.
I trust my son.
I know every parent says that and then wonders how their child became a serial killer.
But I do.
He comes to me with things that I know he won’t talk about with his dad.
Regardless that is neither here no there.
I open his phone and decide the first thing that I was going to look at was his text messages.
I flip open and my eyes start looking down the list.
And see what I am listed as in his phone.
I burst out laughing so hard.
T half asleep: what why are you laughing what are you doing?
Me: Looking at your phone. I haven’t since I got it for you and I just saw how you have me named. I love it.
Crazy Lady I Came out Of. 
That is my handle.
Also and I am not sure where I heard this or if I have written it here before.
Regardless as far as I am concerned it is still funny.
I would really like to know who decided that this point of my life is called menopause.
Believe me I have not hit the pause button on my crazy hormone induced frenzy I just no longer have a physical aspect of it.
And I highly doubt that at age 60 I am suddenly going to say:
Hey you know what I really miss being hormonal and nearly killing people every 28 days or so.
Where is the unpause button? 
I would really like my period back.
Ha! 
There is not a woman around who is going to want it back.
I mean I could be wrong but I cheered and would have done cartwheels if I did not fear falling on my face.
Have a great Tuesday all.
Hope that I sent you off with a smile on your lips and a cheer in your heart.
©Feb. 23/21
Picture is my own