Not My Problem

Did the title throw you for a loop? 🤷🤷🤷 I mean when have I ever said that it is not my problem? If anything I make it all my problem but not this time.
T’s dad has a new girlfriend who has been staying at his place overnight on occasion and last night was some such night. He wanted T to stay the night there instead of him coming home last night.
It was an interesting conversation.
T: Mom dad wants me to stay there tonight.
Me (biting my tongue from what I really wanted to say): Ok that’s fine.
T (surprised): What? You are not going to throw one of your hissy fits?
Me: No. You are telling me now not dropping this on me at 9 p.m. I appreciate that. So it is not a big deal.
T: Oh ok.
Did I want to rant and rail? Damn rights I did however truth is it is his dad’s week. And I suppose eventually T is going to be old enough that he could stay at his dad’s overnight alone. I am not ready for it but also know it is a step that is coming. Maybe not quite yet though.
T (musing): I wonder if L is going to be able to wake me?
Me: Well she has boys so I am sure she will have no difficulty getting you up.
T: Mom they do not know how I sleep.
Me:
T: I bet I am going to miss the bus. I know I am.
Me: Not my problem.
T (laughing): No it won’t be.
T: I hope that dad has stuff for me to make lunch.
Me: Would he not?
T: I don’t know.
Me: Not my problem.
T: I know but what if he doesn’t?
Me: Just so you know I am in a till all day tomorrow so  I cannot run and bring you anything. My lunch and breaks are scheduled for me.
T: Oh ok.
Me: You may decide that you don’t want to spend the night at your dad’s during the school week.
T: Maybe not. We will see how it goes tomorrow.
And then he was gone. Out the door with an I love you and a kiss. I won’t see him now until Sunday night.
Does a part of me hope that this situation goes awry? 😁😁😁😁  I would be lying if I did not. However there is no denying that I am loving sitting here enjoying my coffee ☕☕☕☕ writing my post without having to watch the time. I do not have to go wake him three or four or a hundred times before he snarls his way free of the blankets. My quiet time will be quiet time today.
T also informed me that his dad is planning to meet the new gf’s father. He does not like rock and roll nor swearing. Both of which T’s dad has in spades. He has speakers and stereo to beat a live band in his shop. Swearing is second nature to this man. So after explaining this all to him T looks at his dad and asks: When do I get to meet this new dad of mine?  🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love my boy.
Have a fabulous weekend everyone.
©Sept. 24/21
Picture is my own

Stuck in the Middle

Gosh darn it all I have gone and put T in the middle.
When you are a child of divorce and you yourself are separated with a child you want to be aware of the situations you were put in and avoid those with your own child(ren).
Well I hate to say it but I put T square in the middle of the vaccine debate between his dad and I.
And I have to learn to keep my big fat mouth shut with regards to his father around him.
 
Last evening when T got dropped off he went off on me.
Not off yelling and screaming but he let me know.
 
‘Even if you get the shot you can still get the virus mom.’
‘Yes T in the first 14 days you are right you can still pick up the virus. It will not make you ill but you will be a carrier. Meaning you could give it to your father without knowing it.’
‘Oh.’
‘Do you not want the vaccine?’
‘Yeah I don’t care.’
‘Do you or do you not want the vaccine? If you do not want it I will cancel your appointment right now.’ (you parents heard it)
‘No I want to be vaccinated.’
 
T is torn between a rock and a hard place.
Here is mom who has always looked after him and done the best whereas his father his filling his head with nonsense.  (I know folks I am working on the tone)
This is a man who use to be so science and fact based that he believed in nothing if it could not be proven.
 
I messaged the ex last night and asked him if he would like to come in and discuss the vaccine when he dropped T off.
I got back ‘if I have time.’
Huh.
I have been reminding myself over and over and over that I will listen.
I will not react without first thinking through my answer.
I will bite my tongue.
I will let him get everything out in the open.
If he has time.
If not well I tried at least.
 
©May 18/21
Picture is my own