When it comes down to it…..

I am a pretty lackadaisy mom.
I parent like I teach.
Hands on experience is the only way to learn.
Granted I am not going to allow him to blow himself or others up but I also do not hover over top of him.
He has interests that I don’t understand.
But that is okay because although he is a mini me in the male form he is also himself.
However this passed week we had two defining moments.
On Wednesday after the windshield wiper debacle I came home to garbage not taken out.
I had been hounding and hounding and hounding.
And I lost it.
Dishes still in the sink and dish rack.
There was a moment of rage.
I grabbed the garbage and stormed out.
Actually this is not true.
First I railed at him about the garbage not being taken down.
Screeched when I realize I have forgotten drink and go stomping over to Co-op.
I am sitting here trying to think of an apt description of how I sounded but I cannot.
A mom screech though is a horrifying thing to hear.
I walk back into the apartment and the first thing I see is the garbage…..still at the bottom of the stairs.
Me: Are you not going to take the garbage down?
T(turning towards me still in shorts with a plate in one hand and a chicken drumstick in the other): Huh?
Me: Forget it. Just forget it. I will take the garbage down.
I came back in and I poured a cup of coffee.
Sat on the couch.
I no longer wanted to eat.
I was frustrated.
I was annoyed.
Thursday and for the rest of the weekend T was responsible.
On Thursday he did the grocery shopping.
Stayed well within budget.
Better than me anyways.
Although he attempted to switch the brand of cat litter because the Arm & Hammer was cheaper.
I sent him back for the right stuff.
He made dinner on Thursday.
I came home Friday and the tasks I had set him to were done.
I was feeling good.
He had heard.
I did not yell.
I did not scream.
I talked loudly.
Something that I should be very proud of.
I come from a family of yellers.
The louder you yell the more you win.
Yeah no.
No one hears a damn thing when you yell.
Fast forward to last night and my discovering that he did not do his school work on Friday.
During the time he was suppose to be in class.
He had given himself the day off.
He did not have to go to school on Saturday so why do the work when he had all weekend to do it?
I asked if a babysitter was required.
Absolutely not.
A babysitter would be such a waste of money.
Why did he need a babysitter.
We went back and forth.
T’s argument came down to had it been Wednesday he would have done his work.
Because he had school on Thursday.
But he had all weekend after Friday.
My argument came down to he had five hours structured from 9-2 to do his school work.
From 11-1 he has a break.
1-2 class/workbook done.
He does not get to just give himself the day off.
That was irresponsible of him.
Were he is school in class he would have been doing the work there would have been no giving himself the day off.
It is going to be a couple of days before I see any benefits from last night’s conversation.
He is still annoyed with me.
I am being so mean making him get up and have a shower.
He snapped at me.
Also he is not a morning person.
Unless he has gone to bed at a decent time.
By which I mean 9 p.m. instead of 10-10:15.
I think that I threw the word irresponsible again when I woke up at 10:15 thought that it was after midnight and he was still up.
I was peering at the kitchen clock on the stove.
No glasses.
I know that we are not always going to see eye to eye.
I know that T thinks I am being so hard on him.
I am giving him a lot of leeway in allowing him to stay home unsupervised.
And it is because I do trust that he is going to do what he has to do.
But when he pulls a stunt like this I will reign down upon him the wrath of mom.
When I was younger I had a wicked temper.
I remember mom once describing me and my temper like this:
She is like a machine gun and her words are her bullets.
She sprays them all around and when done drops the gun and wakes away.
Now I am like that when talking to T about how he has disappointed me.
Not in that I am spraying things wildly.
In that once I have made my statements I am done.
There are no more discussions.
He is showering now and I am getting ready to go start the car.
Winter temps have finally come home.
-25 C (-13 F)
Real Feel: -34 C (-29.2 F)
Tonight’s low before wind is going to be -36 C or -32.8 F.
I am hoping/thinking that with temps like these I may be busier as who wants to go out and shop if they can have it done for them.
All that they need to do is come and get it.
We will see.
Have a marvelous Monday all.
©Jan. 25/21
Picture is my own

Not So Little

Yesterday was a day of realizations. 
About Tember.
Also the title can apply to Loki and I will include a bit of an update on my cutie patootie.
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I always have difficulty around this time of the year. 
It hits me that my baby is growing up. 
And I grapple with all that entails.
 
I have been nagging so much this week.
Constantly on Tember to do his chores.
To clean up after himself.
To take the garbage out.
The list goes on and on and on.
Tember says I have been yelling. 
I have not. 
Speaking sternly? Yes.
Yelling? No.
 
Tember has been staying up late despite my repeated admonishments and reminders about early bedtimes and school.
I have begun banging on his door and going in to wake him.
Yesterday I did the grocery shop and was back home by 9. Which is when I began to try to awaken him.
Threw his Old Spice arm pit stuff and teeth flossers on his chest. Eyes flew open.
I am not sleeping. 
I cleaned cat litter boxes.
Put away the groceries.
Washed the dishes. 
By now it is just after 10. 
I go into his room and awaken him for what is the 1000th time. 
I am not sleeping.
I informed Tember pulling him into seated position (he gave me his hand to pull him up) I was going in to have my shower. 
He had approximately 15 minutes because by the time I got out of the shower the garbage had better be taken down. 
He assured me that it would be. 
And then I upped the ante. 
I informed him that I was tired of attempting to get him to do his chores so if the garbage was not taken out by the time I was out of bathroom no gaming time. 
There will now be consequences.
He understood.
Or so he said.
I get out of the shower and do all that that entails. 
I come out of the bathroom and sure enough Tember is laying down. 
Like a harridan I screeched at him causing him to jump. (Tember would say that I sounded horrible…..I just say suck it up buttercup)
This is when it got interesting. 
I repeated to Tember that he now had no gaming time. 
Consequences.
Garbage had not been taken out. 
He blinked at me like I was a monster.
We went back and forth a little and I wavered a bit telling him I would give him an additional 5 minutes to get the garbage out. But the bags were heavy he might want to make two trips.
Sitting on the couch sipping my much needed and deserved coffee I listened to Tember grousing.
4 minutes. 
More grousing. 
3 minutes.
Tember comes storming out and proceeds to start trying to kick his feet into his sandals which then bangs against the cat carrier which hits the wall and the door is rattling. 
First sandal no problem. Crash. Bang.
Second sandal….foot would not go in. 
Foot would not co-operate and sandal ended up behind him.
He turns around and kicks sandal on.
I again suggest that he take two trips as the bags were heavy. 
Slam.
Door closed.
When he comes back in he is groaning. 
His ankles.
His knees.
They hurt. 
I asked if all the garbage was taken down.
No!
I was so mean.
He hurt himself walking to the garbage can.
How could I expect him to do things when he first woke up? (Remember I have been going in there approximately every 10 minutes to awaken him)
I shook my head.
All that was left were the two empty boxes of cat litter so I grabbed them and walked myself down to the garbage can.
 
Jay (I said to myself) Tember has been with his dad for two weeks. And even the week after he was there not here. You two are out of synch and he has not had to do any chores. You two need to get back into the groove. (Sometimes me can be smrt)
 
When I returned I poked my head into Tember’s room and suggested that maybe we should start to take walks. Take pictures. That he was going to have to realize that he would be walking home every week he was with me. That he needed to strengthen his legs and knees. 
 
It’s only because I was walking really fast. And the bags were really heavy.
I did suggest that you make two trips. That the bags were going to be heavy. 
Yeah I know.
But you were mad at me and wanted to prove a point?
Yeah.
What is the moral of this story?
You should not expect me to do things when I first wake up?
No. How about when mom tells you that the bags are heavy and you should make two trips that I might know what I am talking about? 
Those bags were heavy mom. Like 50 lbs or more.
Tember…..they were not that heavy.
Like 15 or 20 than.
Tember I use to carry you around all the time when you weighed 20lbs. You could not walk lol I carried you everywhere. 
What type of freak are you mom? What do you do that you can carry that much weight around?
 
I only had to ask once about the dishes being put away. 
He also got up and moved the cat bowls around. 
Trying to keep Thomas from eating Loki’s food and Loki from eating everyone else’s food.
 
Loki is adorable. 
A little odd but adorable.
Toilet bowl water watching is still his favorite activity.
He loves to cuddle me.
Curls up on my chest while I am typing or reading emails.
Head under chin.
Middle of the night he climbs under blanket and curls up….his head under my chin.
Sleeps on the back of the couch and stretches out so he is touching me.
 
I have had pets all my life. 
This though is the first time that I have ever had one chose me.
Tember I think is a little miffed but he also carries Loki around as though he were a machine gun and firing him.
So there is that.
Doing the spray bottle to deter from bad behaviour. 
I have one of my plants on the floor now instead of on a table.
Every time Loki or Thomas or Lucky went near yesterday I squirted them. 
When I got up this morning my plant stood upon a clean unsoiled part of the carpet. Success was had.
 
Both of my little boys are growing fast. 
Tember went to Co-op as it was getting dark.
Right next door.
I had to bite my tongue to not say be careful. 
I have been letting him go for walks. 
Tember not Loki.
But when I have gotten concerned and messaged as to where he is…..no answer.
That is one thing that we are going to be working on.
I only have 5 grey/white hairs……Vanity is thy name…..I do not want any more. 
 
Have an awesome Sunday loves.
 
©Sept. 6/20
Picture is my own