Absolution of Self

Ever sat
deep pit welling inside
blank eyed stare
sunlight does not penetrate
darkness
no less inkier
than the space I am in.
Trembling
black chasm
right beneath my feet
blinded so
by the roaring voices
pushing out all other thoughts
all other sounds.
Falling
arms spread out
let me go
I hate you
it is my turn
it is my time……..
Vicious
lips drawn in rage
I turn back
face to face
I will battle
I will win
I will never
not ever
fall to my knees
chained by the past
from which
I have broken free.
Bowed head
on my knees
shattered
not beaten
not again shackled
trapped in whirling vortex…..
I am free.
I loosed the beast
roar into the night
fly
my fears
my addictions
my hurts
my angers
leave me……
Absolved.
A babe born anew
a canvas
awaiting
awakening
to the beauty within.
©Feb. 24/20
Picture is my own

Word of the Day Challenge #84-Untitled Poem

I sit
tears falling
blurred vision
all I can think of
is how I hurt you
how much I miss you
this throbbing ache
peering
blinded eyes
never again
together
held by you
chase the nightmares away
you became deeply entrenched
with blooded memories of my past
tangled webs
I cannot unwind
curled inward
grasping knees
piercing screams
wave after wave
venomous evil
washes over me
yawning
black pit
sucking me in
screaming
even as you held me
promising safety
protection
I know…..
I know you wished me no harm
I know you held me with love
I know…..
all you ever wanted
was to protect me true
eventually though
no one
but me
could protect me
with promise of haven
able was I
trust
held me close
chase the demons
spear them
protection
I found in your arms
only to realize
a part of the horror
the wicked dreams
forever entangled
in your love
wistful thinking
I’d be able to separate
horror from peace
in the end
I had to say good bye.
©Jan. 26/20
Picture is my own