Virtues

Was up at the bright time of 5:15 a.m. on my second day of holidays. Rolled out of bed and started the coffee. Opened the laptop…..walk away and make bed (adulting) come back and…..wait what? 
My laptop is not open to the login page. It is a blank screen and a blue circle thinking. So I try to reboot. Several times. Alright for those who know me like a gazillion times. Bright side I did not yell and scream and curse. I very calmly waited until 8 a.m. and called the repair shop. To have to leave a message. So I did.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am not the most patient person in the world. And now I am on holidays the laptop decides to stop working. Old me would have been enraged and in tears. New me decided to walk away and shower. 
Half hour later and we have……message about pc not shutting down properly and did I want to restart which might fix problem or advanced. Me not being a computer expert at all picks restart. And it begins all over.
Nope not waiting for a call. Load up laptop and decide to take old cpu to see about repairing/refurbishing it. More adulting going on here and a lack of…..you guessed it patience. 
I love that I live less than five minutes by car. Pulled up and sat on phone for moment watching 👀 to see how many are going in and coming out. And also realized there was parking right in front. Moved car up. 
This is another new step for me. I know nothing about computers. I know nothing about repairing. I know nothing and am not afraid to admit it.
I also am rarely impulsive. Deciding something and if I truly need it requires some deep thinking. Weighing out pros and cons. Etc. Well not today. Apparently adulting leads to some impulsiveness for when told that am 11 year old cpu is not worth fixing I asked what was available and in the space of five minutes purchased a brand new cpu for Tember. Who is at his dad’s until Tuesday. Which means I have time to set up. 
I now at home staring at the phone willing it to ring. I am lost without my laptop. I do all my things on there. And writing on phone and trying to post can be frustrating. 
Patience is a virtue the old adage goes. It is a virtue I lack ain’t gonna lie. 
May 15/20

Picture is my own

Twisted Fate

Sardonic grin
dances across my lips
as I contemplate
that fate
may be having a laugh
at our expense.
First…
the sea was way too choppy.
Second…
the air too salty.
Finally you come ashore.
The beacon flared bright.
I watched
I waited
I only wanted to have you.
Time though
it ticks past
making mock of my mood.
Batteries die
storms come alive
the police got in the way.
What the hell?
What is it about you and me
that has the gods in an uproar?
What do we share
ties
ideas
want of being
that karma strives so hard
to keep us apart?
Jay-lyn Doerksen
June 29/18
 Photo by Ryan Young on Unsplash

Virtueless

Patience is a virtue. It is one that I do not have.

I have no patience. Well no that is not true, I have patience for certain things but alas there are two things that can send me right around the bend. I will be cursing and tearing my hair out (mentally not aloud). People who do not do the speed limit and slow walkers.

Of late, I seem to get stuck behind the slow drivers. Tuesdays, around 9:20 a.m. I have learned to remain in the right hand lane until I have passed him. Yes him clutching his steering wheel, staring straight ahead, doing 40 km (24.86 miles for my states friends :)) in the 70 km (43.50 miles) portion of the highway. He is driving in the left hand lane, all the time, not to pass people, but holding them all up.

I forgot about him one Tuesday morning until I saw the lane of cars crawling along and I glanced at the dashboard clock. I whipped into the left lane and zipped around him. Worse is the man is a regular customer and I have to bite my tongue. I mean really it isn’t as though I can explain to him how what he is doing is not only dangerous but makes everyone else around angry, because he is in his 80’s and would not listen to reason. Least of all from a woman. (That is a total other story)

This morning, I am on the way to the city to pick up my contacts. There is this pale blue car in front of me doing 30 in a 50 zone. And than she/he decided that I was too close so they slowed to 20. Thankfully this one pulled off within a moment or so because I was gnashing my teeth and saying some rather unpleasant things.

Here’s karma for you, coming back home the same damn car pulled out in front of me in an 80 zone doing 60. And again felt I was too close so slowed to about 55. I could not pass because I was in the passing lane and the right hand side had a steady stream of cars passing me. Again thankfully, one of us turned off and it was me. This time I chuckled to myself and shook my head.

When I got to the city I did a mad dash to the bathroom, cursing the fact I had had those few extra sips of coffee before leaving the house. I was actually afraid to get out of the car because I thought if I stood up I would have an accident right there. Thankfully there was nothing and no one to impede my gallop through the hallways.

Now the stores at St. Vital mall do not open until 10 which saved me some extra money because I was going to busy some candles. (Damn Bath & Body, sending me email flyer 3-wick candles $12.99 plus a 25% off coupon.) I was texting and walking which I am rather accomplished at (use to always walk home from library reading and walking so I have the quick head bob to check surroundings down pat) when suddenly there they were.

Three across, two deep, strolling along, the dreaded mall walkers. They are the folks who walk around the malls before the stores open to get their exercise. Me? I am the opposite of a slow walker. So there I am, walking behind them unable to find an opening to pass. The middle is filled with kiosks and the other side goes in the opposite direction. I was giggling as I walked behind them. Finally a break appeared and I dashed passed.

The other area where I have problems are shoppers. Saturday. In the store I work at. Our aisles are narrow. You can barely fit one person going west and one person going east (to give you and idea) and I am a flier. When I am getting or looking for something for a customer. On occasion I can slip through sideways but majority of the time I get frustrated and either dart up to pharmacy and get around that way or down the cleaning aisle.

Which leads me to the whole point of the blog. Patience. Something out there is trying to teach it to me. The slow drivers are a more recent occurrence but the slow walkers are not new.

The lesson I need to learn: Slow it down. Stop barreling ahead. Blinders on, my view narrow and focused. Slowing down allows me to finally see what I have been missing. Joy. Wonder. Beauty. It may take me a bit but now that I realize what lesson I am being taught I can actively work on it. (Except for slow drivers those I can always pass except when I can’t.)