Black and White

That is how I use to view things. Was only suppose to be done a certain way do it that way. I tended to follow policy a lot because then I was not in the wrong.

Even in life I was pretty hard core on the black and white. I just knew I was right. That there could be no other way. Strident in my beliefs and assurance that I was in the right. When I have memories come back I cringe at how I behaved.

At 50 I have come to realize there is black and white but also there are wonderful shades of grey. There are things now that I let slide because it is either not worth the fight or I perceive things differently.

It is interesting to me that I am now able to see it while others are unable to view life as anything but black and white. And they are still adamant that it will be done their way come hell or high water.

I now am looking at myself. The other people involved. Is it worth the stress and anger? No.

Is it worth the possibility that I could lose a relationship with someone I love dearly? Big fat no on that one.

We have a situation that is occurring at work with a co-worker. They are being removed from the department they have been working in. The decision was made by the department head and BB. And it has already been offered to another staff member before the first has been spoken to.

Is it shady that they are doing this before the other person knows? And telling people about it? Yes. It absolutely is. This co-worker is walking in blind to something others are aware of. Am I though going to go and tell BB that what he and the department head are doing is wrong? Not in the least.

The crux of it is that this is someone’s department and they have an employee that is not performing to expectations. Who does not move quickly, shows no initiative and is needed to have the same thing explained over and over again. No retention. Shades of grey. It is not just a right and wrong. There is customer service and getting the job done.

K is planning to go and speak to BB about it. Despite her not knowing the whole of the situation she is adamant that what they are doing is wrong and need to be know it. I tried to divert her, because I have a feeling this is going to backfire on her.

Black and white.

All the shades of grey in between.

It took me until I was 50 to understand this concept. I wish that I had realized it earlier, but like all lessons, some are longer in making themselves known.

Just as I am aware that there are not just two sides to the story, there is always so much more. And without understanding the whole of it, we cannot rush to judgement on the behaviour of others.

March 3/23

Some People

I worked Sunday. I need Wed off so I asked to work 8 hours today.

I was suppose to do a walk and face. However while texting with K this morning she asked me to find someone to cover a shift for one of the cashiers who called in sick. That was my first hour of my shift. Phoning and texting staff to see if I could find anyone.

I was getting pretty desperate, down to my last two employees before calling the closing supervisor to see if he could come in a bit early to cash. I called my 2nd last prospect. But he wasn’t home. His mom gave me his dad’s cell number and I called him. He was my hero today. Agreed to pick up the shift, which surprised K because he usually does not do that.

For the next hour I short circuited lol start on one thing and then something else would catch my attention. I did get the cooler looking good before we opened at 12.

My first break was at 1:30.

I grabbed my water bottle and went over to the hot food bar.

There was this woman. And kids. And a daughter I guess.

Hot food is only on one side today. She is smack dab in the middle and the kids are on either side of her. Her daughter is standing sort of behind next to me. The mother looks over at me.

‘Is there a problem with us?’ she barked at me. Barked!

‘No I am just waiting to get food for my break.’

‘Hmph-grab a lid there.’ Directed at her daughter.

She turned back to the food, and still the two boys were next to her. There was no way to get food without having to ask them to move. Which I sure as heck was not going to do considering how the mother had been already. I stood a moment more and realized she was not going to ask her kids to move. Somehow she acquired a third kid and in disgust I put the container back and stalked passed her.

I was ticked. Super ticked. I grabbed a yogurt and a cliff bar, going through the till. The woman and her brood were still all strung out along the whole of the food bar as I walked passed her.

Got to the back and uttered a string of curses. Which then lead me to talking to myself as I went up the stairs that I knew I was not suppose to say bad things towards another person as it will come back on me but she was an ignorant cow! I growled, growled I was so annoyed.

I know that I could have asked her to move. Politely. I suppose I thought that she would make room and ask the boys to move so I could also reach the food. She did not. And I am not so sure that I could have asked her nicely.