All Functions Normal

When I went to see my doctor in February we talked about my liver.
And decided that we would do a liver function test but I wanted to wait until it had been a full year of not drinking before I went.
I guess for me that was the magic number.
I wanted one full year of my liver living clean.
I have been incredibly worried and scared.
I had from mid-July onward and finally I broke down on Monday and went in at 7:30 a.m.
I had a doctor call that afternoon and I mentioned that I had only just gone in for the test.
It is not just the alcohol that my liver has had to contend with.
I began taking pills in 1999.
Summer of.
And while the addiction to T1’s grew over time and I would stop taking them for a period only to start again.
That was a lot of acetaminophen over a long long time period.
Add in the alcohol too and well…..
I never heard back from the doctor Monday so I was going with the old adage no news is good news.
Yesterday morning I was sitting here messaging with M and my phone pinged off that I had a new text message at the same time that my notification also went off for my email.
Now generally the only other times it does this is when I have dental appointments scheduled/doctor appointments or my hydro bill shows up.
I flicked open my messages and my heart stalled 😱😱😱😱:
You have received a new message from……
Use your one time code to log in.
I clicked on the link.
I entered in my one time code.
I entered in my birthday.
I hesitated before I hit send because my natural instinct was to bury my head in the sand.
I did not want to know.
I was sure that it had to be bad news.
Why else would I have received a text?
When I opened up the message the first words I saw were Good News!
Followed by your liver functions are all normal.
I burst into tears. 😭😭😭😭
Like ugly sobbing and I called M.
Who was soaking in the tub and snarled at me demanding to know why I was calling to disturb her zen bath time.🛀🛀🛁
I am bawling my eyes out barely able to talk which then leads to slight panic on M’s end.
Finally I was able to stutter out it was a good cry and told her why.
Read her my numbers.
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She promised to check them out at work last night but she had a busy crazy night so I will let it slide for now. 😂😂😂😂
I called mom too and scared her.
Even as I sit here writing this I have tears rolling down my cheeks.
All the big ones have been checked off the list.
Brain.
Kidneys.
Liver.
Internal female stuff.
I have a year’s reprieve before I get to smoosh my boobs and get a finger up the…..
©Sept. 1/21
Picture is my own

Framily****

997 days.
160 days.
These are numbers I am very proud of.
997 days.
3 years and 2 days since I broke up with my pill addiction.
And I have not looked back.
I have not taken anything stronger than Motrin for pain.
For the last two week I have been in pain.
Icing shoulder.
Heating shoulder.
T has rubbed my anti-inflammatory into my shoulder.
I have used on my elbow and upper arm.
I am now down to a dull throb and twinge.
I have a very high pain threshold.
This pain though I cried a few times from it.
And the thought skipped through my mind that it was ok.
I could get the muscle relaxants and use them for pain management only.
But as soon as I thought it I chased it away.
I have come too far to take the chance.
160 days.
5 months and 10 days since I broke up with alcohol.
And much like my break up with the pills I have not looked back.
My sense of smell has begun to come back.
I can smell very strong smells but the subtle smell of coffee/baking bread at work I was not catching them.
I am now.
Dreams.
I know I am dreaming.
Real dreams.
Creative dreams.
I am still not remembering every night but I am dreaming.
A lot of it has triggered deja vu moments at work.
Guess I dream a lot about work.
Or am taping into some psychic ability I am completely unaware of.
If so though I am a boring psychic dreaming of day to day activities.
I have a character awakening.
For the first time in years.
When I say years I am talking about since I was a teenager.
She is skulking around in there.
Maybe not skulking……
lol she just popped out from the shadows and insists that she is skulking.
I awaken each morning early.
Without a hangover feeling like death warmed over.
There is a little extra in the bank.
Not that I can see it but my bank tracking app keeps reassuring me that I am still spending $100 less than usual.
And I can only go up from there.
I am struggling this year with my mood.
Not that I am sliding into depression but the whole year is enough to wear down even the eternal optimist.
I know that this will pass or rather our lives will evolve in such a way as to incorporate the new norms and we will move forward.
However I miss being hugged.
I miss being touched.
I miss male companionship.
There I have said it.
Now no one needs to save me or anything y’all know my feelings here.
Remember my friend called me a cat in relationship style.
One cannot fault me there.
This has been a year of growth and learning.
A year of trials and tribulations.
A year where I have been open about my struggle maintaining good mental health.
A year where I began to explore different aspects of self in life and in my writing.
A year where I have faced some facts about myself that I do not like and work to change them.
A year where…..
I am grateful to 2020 for giving me the strength to finally quit drinking.
I am grateful to 2020 for giving me more time with T and the fun we have.
I am grateful to 2020 for preparing me for the start of the teen years.
Could raising a teenager really be that much harder than surviving 2020?????
I am grateful to 2020 for being a year of introspection and inner growth.
Most of all I am grateful for everyone of you.
I have made friends/family connections within these blogs.
I cannot always read and comment as I want to but I am a silent stalker.
I can always be real without fear of scathing words thrown back at me.
I can always be me.
From My Christmas to Yours thank you all for being a part of my………..
Drum roll please…..
****Framily~Friends & Family Combined.
©Dec. 25/20
Picture is my own
I was informed I was too old to do this.
So I did it.
And took a picture to prove it.