Forgotten History

Sat upon greed
mounds of disregard
tearing down 
bowing down
coward
liar
cheat.
No longer running
bunkering down
building a wall
around his nest
believing
trusting 
that this would not be his last stand.
Door crashing
heavy boots
baby cries
swatting
waving
screaming denial
while 
everyone stops to stare.
Behind bars
terror turns……
hatching
devising
a new tomorrow
once he received his release.
Watched the world did
crazy
deluded
nuclear melt down.
When last lock snicks in place
turn forward
forgive
never forget
for there will always come
another who blusters wrong.
Feb. 18/19
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Untitled Word of the Day Poem #21

I was ready…..
ready to say
holy fuck
not only did you make my day
you made my year
my everything….
Asshole.
Forbidden
I have been
from allowing  you
back into my life
my segments…..
I was told no.
Not only my circle
rally around
there is another
showing me my worth
my destiny.
This could have been your quest.
But…..
well…..
 I was not good enough.
Is it really greener?
That grass
on the other side of the fence?
Is it really a brighter emerald??
Tell me true.
As you stand
barrier
simple fence
enough to cage a sheep
caught you in a trap
I thought you were smarter than that.
Was it worth it?
I am not like the others…..
Fuck no
talk …..
admit
talk ….
to me
seriously?
I can no longer bend.
Bow
I am done.
I loved you.
I love you,
I wanted to help.
I want to help.
I wanted to lessen your burden.
But…..
well……
Hi…..
Over here…..
good bye.
I….
I love you….
I speak words of disgrace
throw the synonyms
while your vowels penetrate
my skin.
Crimson tears
heart scarred
will I ever trust again?
 
Feb. 17/19

Untitled Relationship Poem #7

Fuck you!
Slashing
slicing
violent words 
used to rip your soul apart
the way you ripped mine.
No guns
no fists 
no blades
vicious words 
spill from my mouth
looking to cut you away.
Trust has been blasted
no more base
not sure what I am going to do
you have hurt me so much.
I should have insisted
but your words 
your promises 
your voiws
lulled my suspicions.
Never again.
Grievous pain
firing through heart
brain
tired of the charge
I want to turn it off.
I want to numb myself
to this hurt inside.
Standing beneath the rushing water
deep breath
once in
twice out
it will be alright.
A fool am I 
love knows no bounds
not a love like this.
Rage
frothing
swelling
you should really run
’cause this woman 
went and got her gun.
 
Feb. 16/18
 

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #20

‘I’m tired…..
tired 
exhausted
by being the strong one.
My shoulders 
heavy with the sins of others
my heart
battered
broken
what the hell did I do?
For this to seem alright?’
Falling to my knees
head bent
sorrow in my heart
rage in my soul
fuck you
and that damn horse…..
the one you rode in on.
Stand there
look down on me
chortle
are you really that much better?
I raise my eyes
my hands
open my ears
while you shut down
crawl back into your hole.
Tell me now brother
how are you better?
Why is my worth less?
‘Weary I am.
Why should I 
Atlas be?
Holding up this world
all so others…..
not me
never me…..
benefit?
Shall I stand
smile affixed
sneer behind my eyes
I will never trust you again.’
Devil’s jig
Imp’s grin
Bratty laughter
who wins?
You?
Me?
No one?
‘Rise I shall.
Thrusting above 
the weight of lives
left to me 
guarding
never failing
unlike you
fallen in sin……
Not sorry am I 
yet 
you will be.’
Head bowed
remorse
tears
caress sensitive cheeks
hearing
feeling
bloody screams
cringing
blows across the breast.
I did give warning……..
Feb. 16/19
Photo by JOHN TOWNER on Unsplash

Untitled Poem #13

Blind
lights flash in the rear view mirror
time
horror filled 
breaking down.
It pains me
physically 
I ache
knowing what happens
what he does 
to you
to the child
to me.
I am stronger.
I can take it.
Hide beneath my skirts
I will survive
you would not
so Robin Hood I shall be.
Hands covered in gore
knife falling to the floor
flee we will
I must save you
before I fall from grace.
Worry not 
I will find a home
solace for you
for the child too.
Company to love 
to heal
to cover the scars
with warm embrace.
Watch not
tears streaking 
filmed sight
hands behind my back
remember me……
not for the angry rage
that caused me to destroy
maim
oblitereate
the man who hurt 
who abused us all.
Remember only
that I loved you 
cared for you
got you away 
from that horrid life.
I love you true.
I am sorry I failed you.
Too many hurts
too much pain
before finally 
the monster was slain.
 
Feb. 15/19

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #19

Have not slept a night through
there is an empty space
in my bed
where once you lay
always willing to pull me close
to kiss my brow
assure me all was right.
Dreams splintered
demons raging
monsters crashing in.
Curled in a corner
blankets over my head
repeating
only a dream 
only a dream
in hopes that they will go.
So smitten was I
with you
monster banishing
demon slaying
god like man.
I was on my knees before you
honoring you with prayers.
Wisp of smoke
fading in the air
locked in denial
screaming in rage
please come back
so I can gouge your eyes out.
Feb. 14/19

Untitled Word of the Day Poem #18

***I am in no way feeling this way. It is based on remembrance of last year’s depression time.***
Feelings of weariness
Sunk deep in the grey mimosa
My lips are moving
Though I cannot hear a sound. 
Crackles
Flames formed at my feet
Tenacious
Claws sink deep
Clown’s mask
Hides the bitter smile
Puffy eyes
Vacancy unable to hide
That is not me
The me hidden within
Sore
Bruised
Battered
Scorched cheeks
I fall to my knees
Head hung low
Wishing for death’s peace. 
 
Feb. 13/19