Crumbling mortar
paint peels in strips
land bleeds black
brambled path
wrought in pain
in terror.
staring at nothing
mind no longer there
lost in the mists
of time beyond
not able to see the disgrace
the family feels.
Speaking in tongues
in gibberish
who can understand
as I wail
as I cry
trying to bring you into this world.
of my own devise.
Flashes of history
memories lost
tangled web
I am caught.
wipe my mouth
speak as though
I am not here
as though
already gone am I
wishes were horses
beggers would ride.
When I was a young
prospects so many
laid out
waiting for me
to pluck the fruit offered
to bite of my dreams
Now I am an elder
no one has time
to hear my stories
to hear my tales.
I am left to bleed
in gloomy silence
set upon an ice floe of neglect
waiting to die.
©Feb. 17/20
Picture is my own

Pauper Souled

Pauper poor
born to a family preachers
never had enough
a sin that could not be excised.
Eloquent voice
roaring from the pulpit
building a kingdom upon the backs of the broken.
shadows encroaching
falling to the wayside.
tenets of love
helping others.
tenets of hatred
forsaking all.
Money clenched tight
two fists
never letting go.
Why use it as it should be?
To feed the poor.
To help communities.
Reach out to the forgotten
the addicts
the soulless.
Instead used thus…..
Home built upon a hill
glass and gold agleam
cherubs guard the gates
stained black
gorging on sin.
Cling to the fantasy
celebrate worth
celebrate love
while in the corner……
the Devil does sit.
hidden by the shadows
lusting for the bloated soul
the vile poison oozing from pores.
while called a virtue
is something the denizens of Hell
are familiar with
as they wait
for one to trip.
They descend
in wicked embrace
ignoring the screams
down they go.
Oh poor baby
really thought all would be forgotten
absolved at the pearly gates
failing to remember 
the deal made.
©April 30/19
Picture via Pinterest

Rescue (Picture Prompt #5)

I stand
feet stockinged
water lapping at my toes
as I try to stay above
to keep breathing
to keep living
because of
instead of
the pain that infects my heart
the screams resounding in my mind
ripped silently from my mouth.
Standing a top a crooked table
upon a crooked chair
upon a crooked stack
ready to tumble
ready to break
should I move
step forward
step away.
I long to reach out
to trace my fingers over your lips
to feel them caress my own
to stare into liquid chocolate
to taste the sweetness that we were
that I long for us to be again.
You swore
you promised
you vowed
you were on the level
so why did you rip my heart apart?
Deep within the woods
swamp sucking
I stand awaiting
noose at my neck
will you save me
or will I save myself?
April 8/19
Picture prompt via John @ The Eclectic Contrarian
Word of the Day Via Word of the Day Challenge

Within the Darkness

These shackles I wear

they are of my own design.

The lashes against my back,

the hair shirt I wear,

the loop of disdaining voice

played over and over

eroding my faith.

This addiction I feed

this need to sedate

comes solely from a desire to be;

to not feel,

to not face,

the imperfections of my heart.

There is no relief

only brief interludes

where sanity does reign,

but when the darkness falls

and my tears begin,

my soul has already become undone.

Cycles of love and laughter;

pain and fear,

depression and happiness;

they blow through this life,

and some days I am good

and some days I am not.

Within this all,

one emotion remains true.

I am brave

and though oh so scared,

I will rend this curtain

this veil that I wear

and I will find sunlight 

within the dark.

Jay-lyn Doerksen

December 25/17