Positivity….Alive and well

I recently started to follow her…. The Haunted Wordsmith. Have been loving her posts (in a non-stalker way) so please go on over and check her out. She is having some difficulties with some of her posts being jealous of other posts getting more love. Please spread the love all around.

The rules are simple:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote for three consecutive days.
  3. Nominate three bloggers each day.

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This is a huge one for me. I have not always been a positive person.

I am unable to explain why that is. I have striven to make everything right and I guess the more I tried for that and fell short, the more that voice in my head told me how much of an idiot I was.

I no longer am like that. I see positives everywhere I look. When someone tells me something negative, I now turn it around and point out the positive. It is a mindset. And I have changed my mindset.

Positivity.  It has changed my life. And I will not ever go back to the negative Nelly I once was.

 

Sunshine Blogger Award

This nomination for the Sunshine Blogger Award came from Grateful Single Moms. Her blog is amazing. I love her posts as they are very relevant to what is going on in my life. You need to check her out.

Sunshine Blogger Award Rules:
-Thank the blogger who nominated you.
-Answer the 11 questions asked.
-Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
-List the rules and include the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post.

My answers:

What is your blog about and what are your goals for your blog? My blog is about myself, my son and the life we lead. I write about a variety of subjects including depression/anxiety, friends, poetry. I am not really certain at the moment what my goal is for my blog. I will need to think about that and get back to you.
What are you most grateful for? I am most grateful for my family. My family is not only those who I am related to by DNA but also my friends.
Who do you admire most in life? I most admire my mom. She is the one who taught me everything I needed to know. And she doesn’t fuss to much about the stuff I never needed to know but do.
What quote most inspires you? If you can dream it you can do it.
What is one characteristic you wish you possessed? Grace. I am super klutzy
If you could make a living doing anything, what would it be? Writing
What is your greatest victory? Coming back stronger and more aware of myself from this last depressive episode.
What are you most passionate about? T
What could you do to improve your life tomorrow? Buy a lottery ticket and hope that I win. 🙂
What is the most courageous thing you’ve ever done? Accepting that I have been through a traumatic event that I am unable to recall at all and that my brain is protecting me.
Who do you admire most? My mom. She raised two children after divorcing in an era where people were still of the belief that you made it work. She is amazing. And I would not be who I am today without her.

My Questions:

  1. Who is your favorite fictional character?
  2. Which writer has influenced you the most?
  3. What is your favorite food?
  4. What is your favorite song?
  5. Who is your favorite recording artist?
  6. How do you find inspiration to create?
  7. If you were to discover that a child was coming into your life what would you chose to name them?
  8. How much time a week do you spend reading?
  9. Who is your favorite historical figure?
  10. What is your favorite season of the year?
  11. What makes you laugh?

My nominees are:

tea&bannock

SMON-Uganda

Poetry and Art by Mandy

Mbura blog

lou rasmus

Purple Haze

Love’s Deep Waters

The Gentle and Brave Writer

Mental Health & Killing the Stigma

Havoc and Consequence

Misadventures at 30something

I hope that you will take the time to check out those that I have nominated. Some are new blogs I am following that I have really enjoyed. Others I have been following for some time and I would like them to know how much I appreciate their works.

7.5=Perfection for Me

This morning as I am sitting here reviewing my week, I am proud of myself. I am also cautiously optimistic. I have now had 4 days of being good. As in my mood has been elevated. I have felt good. I have been laughing. And well I am doing things. I have cleaned the apartment 3 weeks in a row. 3 weeks I say that is amazing.
I had the music blaring, well not blaring because I have neighbors, but it was loudish. Have I mentioned that I downloaded Spotify to the Xbox so I can play it out of the t.v.? Oh yeah. Only issue I have is that it doesn’t pick up where I left off when I close it down. It does on the computer but that is life right? So I was dancing around the apartment, singing to myself having a great time. I opened the blinds all the way and sunlight was streaming in. My beautiful babies were thrilled to feel the sunlight on their leaves.
I threw the blankets in the dryer and figured that I would jump in the shower before doing the last load of laundry. And I mean the last load. I have been doing laundry almost every day this week so I was pretty much done. I only had the floors left to wash when out of the corner of my eye espied the laundry basket and thought to myself ‘Oh yeah I need to put that load in.’
Laundry is going and I am filling the sink so I can wash the floors when it suddenly hits me. The reason I had not thrown the last load in was so I could shower. And I had done a hot wash on the blankets and now a warm wash with this last load. Smacked myself in the head and laughed. Seriously only I would do this. Washed the floors and sat down. The apartment smelled nice and fresh. My laundry was about finished. The bed was made. It was awesome.
Also, there have been multiple outings. Monday I only went next door to the gas station but as it had been a ‘down’ day this was big. Tuesday I made myself go into work for some groceries. And I talked to fellow co-workers. On my own. Wednesday was ‘Meet the Psychiatrist’ day. I did really well, not bursting into tears or anything, but once I was in the car I burst into tears. Sobbed all the way home.
Thursday was a good day. Friday after dropping T off at school I went to work to get a few items for myself and for the school week. I only had a few twinges and did not have to give myself a pep talk to go in.
Friday V and her son came for coffee. Well as he is 3, he had a juice box. It was so much fun. We laughed and talked. Her son finally warmed up to me and even sat on my lap for a while. When he wanted my attention he shouted ‘auntie, auntie’ until I responded. And when they left I did not feel tired. I was energized.
So as I sat here yesterday, realizing that I needed a few things, I figured I would shoot Auntie K a text and see if she was up to an outing. And she was. I did have a mission. I was on the hunt for my Sandalwood incense. Not sure if everyone is aware of my obsession for Sandalwood scent. I love it. And was most dismayed that Wal mart was no longer carrying them. And all my other go to places were no longer selling them I was devestated.
Decided that I wanted to check Only Deals and see if they might have them. OMG I was so thrilled they had them. And lots of them. Despite them being $2.99 + tax I bought 4 packages. As an aside when I got home I lit three of them and had them in their holders before I even had taken my jacket off. Than we went off to Red Apple where well not as discounted as they say. Needed laundry pods but I only use Sunlight. So we went off to Canadian Tire who does not carry Sunlight laundry pods which entailed a visit to Wal-mart.
We meandered. And dreamed. Looked at the summer patio furniture. Talked and laughed. Did I buy a few things that maybe I should not have. Weekly deep treatment for frizzy hair. Which I have in spades. The small package of powdered donuts, again maybe not necessary but damn they were good. The entire package was eaten. Did I maybe spend a little more than I should, yes. Was it a great afternoon of fun with Auntie K? Damn right it was.
I had a great idea for a short story on my way home. Have written only the first line but it is percolating.
I also have had a realization.
I am not going to worry about what ifs. As in what if I have good mood for a week but than have a not good day. What if I have a couple of consecutive not good days? It is alright. The amount of time that I spend in the not good days, is becoming less. I am getting stronger. And while I do not wallow, as long as I do the small tasks that I set for myself to achieve every day, I feel accomplished and let the emotions ride. I am going to enjoy the mood I am in right now, enjoy this moment.
I still have not been able to read. The day will come when I can. Until than, I am not going to worry about it.
I am extremely proud of what I have done this week. I cared for myself. I was able to deal with a difficult situation, that is, talking about myself, without falling apart. All in all, I would give this week a solid 7.5 and that is perfect for me. 🙂